Back to the real world....Matthew's world

OK...now that my distraction with American Idol is over (my cousin didn't make the audition either), it is now time for me to get back to Matthew's world.

This morning we are heading out for a wonderful lead test that I have been dreading taking him to. I thought it would be them poking a needle in his arm like they do for adults when they give blood, but Eric told me that my sister in law just had it done for her son, and they only prick the finger.

That, Mommy can handle with a 4 and a half year old little boy that in no way would have sat still long enough to endure the pain of having a needle in his arm.

So, I just broke the news to him and at first he was resistant but after I explained it all to him gently and mentioned we would then go to lunch and clothes shopping for him for school, he was excited. More excited about lunch than the shopping, but I haven't started yet so I have to start sometime. He still fits into alot of his shirts from last year so I am OK in that department. I mostly just need some new jeans for him, sneakers and maybe a fall jacket to get us started.

I can't believe that one week from Thursday, he will be starting preschool and this time it really is the last week before I hand him over to the world for the next 14 years of his life (Pre-K and K included).

I am hugging him tighter this morning.

I didn't think that I would feel this overwhelming emotion about it, due to my emotions are mostly concerned with him actually going and not having separation anxiety again.

But Mommy now has the separation anxiety and it we have one week left just us, to enjoy just us...sniff....sniff...

He is my world and my love and I hope that the world is good to him.

I have so many mommy fears that I don't want him exposed to in the real world, but I can't do anything about it.

He will now know that teachers will be the one to guide him with his parents in life and be exposed to other children and what there little lives have been exposed to.

It is the beginning of realizing that there is a war going on, that some people are bad in this world and some are good.

He will learn more beyond what we let him see.

I don't want that to happen!

I want to keep him in a safety bubble.

One that he can still enjoy life, but yet the world won't hurt him.

I only pray that we as parents will have the strength, the guidance, the love and support, the wisdom, the family morals to get him through life to turn into the remarkable, bright and loving man he will be, healthy and happy and well balanced with a little romanticism and a little manly toughness .

American Idol YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING in MY BOOK

American Idol declined my brother but the whole process was nothing like you see on TV. He auditioned in front of 15,000 people in the arena so the sound quality made it impossible to hear him. The judges were not Randy, Paula & Simon but other people and they literally would pick 4 people, and pick three of that four to be sent home without even hearing them sing. At least he got to sing, but not in my opinion for the right people. Oh well, they don’t know what their missing.

I don't know now if they are going to have me as a viewer this year. Kind of hard to accept them and give them my nights 2 sometimes 3 times a week for a few months, when they don't accept my blood. Kind of leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

And I'm not a sore loser. I didn't lose, my brother didn't lose either. He wasn't heard and so he couldn't be judged correctly.

Well now my cousin was also auditioning so if she makes it, I will vote for her (and watch for her only), but I haven't talked to her yet to find out.

CONGRATULATIONS NEW DADDY !!!!!!!!!

New England Patriots News (click on link for the full story from www.wbz.com)

Brady Becomes a Dad

Tom Brady is a dad. The quarterback's former girlfriend Bridget Moynahan gave birth to a baby boy in Los Angeles yesterday. Moynahan's publicist says mother and baby are doing well.

I wonder if he needs any parenting advice from a stay at home mom with a little boy of my own. We can barter babysitting for football lessons for Matthew, maybe even tickets to the games. I wonder if Eric would mind and if he wants to help out the new dad too:-)

Remember When Wednesday - Little brother P TRYING OUT FOR AMERICAN IDOL

Alright I've been sick since Sunday and there is so much I want to share about Matthew, but I have to take time out again now to blog/brag about my little brother P. I should start another blog just for issues other than Matthew, but right now I don't have the time.

A few posts ago, I mentioned my little brother hopefully trying out for Philadelphia's auditions for American Idol. I hadn't posted anything since then because at first he turned me down, saying he hated to burst my bubble but... After some more encouragement on my part, my brother J's part and my father's part, we've talked him into it.


He is going on Friday for the beginning of a long weekend worth of standing in line and auditioning. I just wanted to put up a request for prayers. Not that he needs them, but they never hurt.


The other night he broke the news to me that he had changed his mind and talked to his company and let me know they were going to be supportive. Once his concerns were out of the way he is now realizing that this is an experience of a lifetime.

The next morning when I woke up, I was in my bathroom and I looked up to the ceiling and told my mother "You're little boy is trying out for American Idol!!!!!!!!!". I immediately filled with tears knowing how proud and happy she would be and how she will watch over him in the next few days and give him hugs when he needs that extra "oomph" to keep having the strength to stay in that line. She will be with him and that gives me the peace, when I can't be there for him.

I would have loved to stand in line with him and hold his hand, but someone else needs me to hold his hand now. I know that when my little brother hears the words though "YOU'RE GOING TO HOLLYWOOD !!", that we will try and plan something to be able to support him while he is there. Matthew's never been to California. It would be a nice family vacation for us with Daddy maybe for a long weekend.

I just want to give one more blog of support before P goes. I love him and have loved him for so long. He is my little brother that is standing still despite the hardships in his life that he overcame. He has more strength than most due to that he has been through alot in his early life and he is now getting a chance to do something for himself that I am praying when he wins, he will have the peace and happiness (along with the riches) that he deserves.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

When you live so close to the Patriots, it's hard not to get excited when they have their second preseason game tonight. I am hoping maybe this year will be different again and I'll get to watch more, get to maybe even go to a game or get to have a few Patriot parties.

I have loved Tom Brady ever since that first Indianapolis game where he stood in for Drew Bledsloe and with a score of 44-10. And then he took off his helmet and I liked him even more.

Good Luck Patriots!!!!

30 YEARS LATER - I'LL REMEMBER YOU

Elvis

Last night, I don't know how it caught up to me, I watched Larry King Live with Priscilla Presley from Graceland. Every year as soon as it is August, I remember. This year I have been distracted and am glad I took the time out now to stop and reflect.

I was 10 years old and my mother loved Elvis. She had all of his albums and we would listen to them constantly. My little brother J at the time was 7 and he would dress up in his jumpsuits just like Elvis and play air guitar in the living room. I used to believe that when I got married someday, it would be on a float going down a river in Hawaii with pretty girls wearing lays around there neck of flowers, just like Elvis Blue Hawaii movie. We grew up watching all of his movies and just loving him.

My mother had the live from Hawaii album which was actually blue and had a picture of Elvis on it. I remember thinking how special it was, how awesome and that if it got scratched that would be so horrible because his beautiful picture was on it and how devastated my mom would be.

I was in our garage with the garage door opened. I had been playing our piano. My mother had just gone shopping at Pomeroy's for one item. I'll never forget her walking towards me as she got out of that car and her kneeling down to me and hugging me as she was crying that "Elvis had died".

That moment is right up there for me with The Challenger and the day Princess Diana died.

Such quietness. Something missing that was huge and bigger than life and that filled others with such joy and promise and comfort and then with Elvis, such shock as to why? The speculation of drugs at the time and him overdosing when to outsiders it looked like he had it all. His beautiful daughter Lisa (who I thought her and Cassidy Bono from TV) were my little friends, now had no father.

To make this date even more important to me, a few years ago my father and I were going through some old pictures/junk from a junk drawer that had been in my parents bedroom while I was growing up. For reasons I don't know, I found a receipt from Pomeroy's for $4.99 dated August 16, 1977 for that one purchase on that date that my mother had made.

I think she must have saved it for her own sake, as something for her to remember where she had been and then I found it 25 years later. I looked at it last night where I have it tucked behind a picture of my mother in my wallet. It is still in unbelievable condition and shows the time she was there was 5:31 pm. I can still see her walking toward me that day.

She and Elvis are on my mind today. I'll remember you is one of the most beautiful songs that he did, in my opinion along with Something In The Way.

Philadelphia American Idol Auditions - CALLING UNCLE P........

Alright so you can tell by the title of my blog today that I am trying to get some one's attention!

That would be my wonderful, handsome, talented, charming, charismatic, generous, loving, kind, comedic and did I say unbelievably gifted with singing talent little brother.

And that's just the beginning of trying to explain what he is to me. I know he is my brother and that sisters are supposed to brag about brothers that way, and I do BUT he is now above and beyond so much with me that this is more than just sisterly love (no pun intended for brotherly love - hint Philadelphia).

He has more advantages than the rest of my family put together right now. If he doesn't take advantage of this audition, he will be then past there ridiculous age limit thing and then we will have to wait for one of our children in our family to then .....go the line.

American Idol unfortunately for me (and maybe the rest of the world) wasn't out when myself or my middle brother were in that age range of 16 to 28. For myself anyway, I used to just think that the next record producer would just walk in the door of the nightclub I was singing in either winning a karaoke contest or getting up with a band. I thought that was the way it was from as far back as Loretta Lynn, short of Doo driving her around the country after having ten children (exaggeration at that point).

I know that when the season starts, we all roll our eyes at the miles of untalented people they go through to get to the few random good ones that eventually will make it through to the end.

And again I'm not just speaking out of my shorts (to put it nice). My little brother is 11 years younger than me. When we would go out singing as a family when I would go home over the years, either he wasn't old enough to go to a bar, would be hanging out with his friends and the few short moments you heard him sing along in the car - you thought he has a nice voice that if we could ever get him up to the mic and get into this like the rest of us, and belt it someday....it was like an unreachable dream for me being so far away from him.

Then one day last year, he went out with my friend K, my father and myself and sang "Creep" by Radiohead and "Californication" by Red Hot Chili Peppers. We were blown away by his tone, range and the fact that Californication is alot of fast words to sing. He did great and I had wished it was on tape to show Eric.

Then last weekend, we as a family finally got to go out again. We hadn't been out all together with my father like that since before my mother passed away. We used to always get together and sing and now it is like we are somehow lost and when we got together that night last weekend, it was like we were found again...a whole family again with a wonderful friend of my father's to enjoy our joy. My brother P sang "WHEN THE STREETS HAVE NO NAME" by U2. It had this really long drumming sound intro and just when he started singing something happened and the DJ had to restart it. First my gorgeous brother is a charmer and a comedian..he has no problem working a crowd, talking to a crowd. He is a natural. The tune of the song was getting everyone in the place pumped up and when he sang it...YOU THOUGHT BONO WAS IN THE HOUSE. Better yet (Bono, in case you read my blog), HE WAS BETTER THAN BONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Strangers were taking pics on their camera phone. I was standing on a chair to get an ariel view and if I wasn't so worried about other people's identities I would share those pics with the world. What got me mad though, I left my camcorder at my dad's house and only had my camera. A few hours later I got madder when P showed me his phone has a video feature that I could have used.

This was bigger than any other moment in our family history as far as I'm concerned.

The first time I got up to sing at a large event was at a local happy hour at a resort that gets packed on Friday's. A band played and somehow I don't know how, with other friends of mine at the time we took the stage for the Temptations "Ain't To Proud To Beg". I didn't know the song, but somehow (drinking involved) I knew the chorus and when it came time, I grabbed the mic, not caring that were probably a couple hundred people there and belted out "AIN'T TO PROUD TO BEG, SWEET DARLIN". When we were done, my friends were like "We didn't know you could sing, you should be famous blah, blah, blah.." Strangers (women who never compliment another woman singing) were approaching me as I walked through the crowd. That was my defining bone tingling moment for me.

My father's moment was also bone tingling when after many years of being my mother's caretaker, I introduced him after him not singing for 20 years, to karaoke in the early 90's. He sang "NEW YORK, NEW YORK". The entire restaurant went quiet and of course sang along. He got his standing ovation and it was all he needed to put the bug back in him and now to this day he does weddings, graduations, anniversaries, dinner hours at local resteraunts, opened for Lou Rawl's, charity events etc. and just loves to sing.

My other brother J sings good too. He does a mean Neil Diamond, Billy Joel, AC/DC, and others. Once when him and my sister in law came up to visit, before Matthew was born, we sang along with a CD of my father's songs. It was like our way of singing with Dad, without him there. Now that is a very wonderful video that I have to remember it forever.

P though, if he doesn't take advantage of AI's auditions in Philly, he might regret it later. He doesn't have a girlfriend at the moment. He is single, handsome, free and works in a job that he could either get a leave of absence or something to follow this dream. And he is in the age range.

I am praying that he enters and that he goes all the way. If anyone deserves happiness in life it is my brother. He is such a wonderful and talented guy.

To read about audition info in Philly click here.

Squirrels on a Sunday!

OK....I don't know if I posted about our squirrel problem in the past...but today I'm going to!!

Up until today, my neighbors and my husband have been thinking that the squirrel population surrounding our lakefront properties have been "growing and becoming a nuisance". I have not agreed with them due to the fact that I thought they were cute. They mostly lived up in the 300 year old trees and we would occasionally see them playing in the mornings or would see them in there nests from our bedroom windows and I would show Matthew Mama Squirrel and Baby Squirrel.

Well, now all that is changed!!!

A month or so ago, Eric had a small cookout for himself, Matthew, Eric's friend and his girlfriend. I was on my neighbor's porch and came home an hour or so later with more neighbors now to congregate on our deck. We were walking through my house, when I looked out on my patio set to see A SQUIRREL EATING MY SON'S LEFTOVER HOT DOG IN IT'S BUN!!! with the Ketchup and Mustard on either side of it. Before I could run and get my camera, my neighbor scared him off and we laughed about it.

The next day, I got the picture below as one of the culprits was checking out one of Matthew's toy lions.

Over the past few weeks, we would smile at the cute little guys as they sometimes poke their heads in our glass doors. Just Yesterday, one poked his head in through the glass.

A few weeks ago, my father in law sent us the video here and we all laughed and thought oh...we could send them across the lake.

Today, Eric took Matthew down the cape to visit family while I stayed home to read a book. I was quietly reading upstairs when I heard something fall. I had brought my cordless phone upstairs with me and forgot to carry it down. I came downstairs and saw items that had been on my microwave on the floor and then heard a noise around the corner on my kitchen counter.

YOU GUESSED IT, A SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a heart attack!!!!!

I ran outside and of course, my neighbors that lived either side of me, were not home.

I started yelling a few houses up and finally got a hold of my wonderful neighbors who came to save me.

My neighbors calmly told me "Oh, Just a squirrel, Get A Broom, He might have gotten in through the chimney (as they had experienced in the past)" I thanked them for their help as they got him out the back patio door and then after they left I looked out at that door. The SCREEN IS EATEN OUT WITH THE THREADS FACING IN AS IF THE WHOLE WAS MADE FROM THE OUTSIDE IN...TO BREAK INTO THE HOUSE!

This is where I draw the line.

Now I'm looking at them all outside each one identical to the other and not knowing who the criminal was.

I don't trust them all now when they start to make themselves at home, in my home.

I think with them looking in the windows, with them on the patio recently and our smiles we have given them sense of belonging AND THEY GOT THE WRONG MESSAGE.

I liked it better when I felt comfortable among them outside like we all are God's creatures nestled in here along the water. Now I am looking at them like they have ulterior motives.

A Compliment Among the haze

The pictures above are from our family reunion weekend in PA. We had a remarkable time and my brother P is going to be America's Next American Idol, but that's a story for another day.

Matthew has been going through what we hope is a stage. The stage of not listening to any adult disciplining him. The first swimming lesson he listened a total of 5 minutes out of a 30 minute class given by a young girl. At the next class, she was out sick, so a male instructor was there to step in. Matthew did so much better with him and I made sure Mommy was not out of view but out of reach or eye contact to help him stay focused on the lesson at hand.

We decided to switch Matthew to this guys regular evening class, due to him making an impact. This past lesson, Eric took him and sat across the pool in some bleachers far enough away, but for some reason his inability to cooperate kicked in again and he wound up having 3 lifeguards chasing him around the pool to try and catch him. Eric was beside himself and we have now decided we need to really focus better on our interactions with him and start getting a little tougher skinned (that would be me that needs that).

Tonight I will take him again and I am praying that with me he does better again. He was born with this little stubborn Irish streak in him that doesn't want to do anything until he is ready to do it. Combine that with being an only child and used to having Mommy and Daddy's full attention and we have a problem. I am panicking without him knowing about school starting in a few weeks. I dread that he is going to put me through the same tantrums that we experienced last year. I was hoping that a month of swimming lessons and listening to an instructor would start us both getting used to that outside direction.

After Eric's witness to the battle the other night at swimming lessons, we decided that we are going to start charting him again, start rewarding and praising him more about things that he does right etc., start using the time out chair again more. Basically everything SuperNanny says, we will do.

Yesterday morning I got up with Matthew to make him breakfast and immediately told him our day is going to change. It is try new things Wednesday!! We started with no TV until after breakfast is done. He kept asking me why and I kept saying because these are new rules. With it being just the two of us and no separation between our dining room and living room, I have had the TV on many times during lunches/dinners. Not alot, I am conscious of too much TV/computer games, but still allowed it sometimes. Now it is going to be not at all. (Made an exception this morning due to mess on dining table he ate at coffee table.) I know that doesn't sound good, but I am on a mission for my son and I'm not breaking it.

That is just one of the rules. I have also been re-enforcing his table manners, trying to make a game out of "let's see how long you can sit still and eat all your food before getting down". I am now also adamant for both our sakes to get dressed directly after eating breakfast so we don't get trapped anymore in the now it's noon and we are still in our Jammie's. The laundry and dishes might be done, but we are not.

I have also been trying to get him to say "yes instead of no", to say positive things instead of negative "yummy vs yucky". In the past 24+ hours I am making strides.

Yesterday I got his hair cut and had to cut our outing short due to Mommy having a belly ache and having to come home. He wanted to play in his playard in the back of the house, which isn't visible from the bathroom. He didn't listen at first and I was a nervous wreck as he was out there for awhile with me in pain. When I had a moment to stand up and walk, I found him in his sandbox. I looked down at him with his new haircut and thought he only wants to play. Something so simple, so innocent, so wonderful. It's not his fault that my yard isn't the best safety wise, or that I couldn't see him from the bathroom. I decided to not give him a hard time about it and waited a little while. Finally after a few minutes of playing and with more pain coming on, in a nice voice I said "Honey, remember Mommy had the bad belly ache and that was the reason we had to rush all the way home?" He said "Yes" I said "I still have to go to the bathroom and Mommy is worried about you out here, can you come in for awhile and then you can go back out?" He said "Sure Mommy".

When you take a step back and take a deep breath and re-examine the situation at hand, you have time to see how this can become good for both you and him. Sometimes you don't have those moments and everyone winds up yelling and wanting to be the one calling the shots and then it is all downhill. So we are working on little things one at a time as we approach them throughout the day. I am hoping that in a few weeks there will be a drastic change in him regarding this issue because he is such a sweet, wonderful, loving, kind hearted, giving, generous angel and we want that to stay that way.

Today already came a silver lining. I was going to take him to the playground and the library but remembered I needed gas in my car. The place where I get it is about 15 minutes away and we decided to go to a playground after that. On my way to the playground we passed a local shopping outlet where he remembered they had Batman rides outside the store. He asked if we could go and I decided to test out his table manners at a restaurant there as well. We went to a nicer restaurant than the kid-friendly one and I held my breath. He had a few moments, but on the majority, throughout dinner sitting at the table, sitting in his seat, talking nice and soft to Mommy, coloring I was about ready to burst from holding my breath. A lady on her way out of the restaurant stopped at our table, came over to him and said "What A WELL BEHAVED LITTLE BOY YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK....that was enough to make me happy!!

I called Daddy on the cell phone and Matthew said "No!! I wasn't behaving..." He didn't want to admit it because that would mean he was being good. I told him Daddy said he was very proud of him.

Now only 3 hours until swimming.....let's hope the day ends as well as it has been going so far.

The picture below is of Matthew exhausted and tired at the end of his long day of running around, he slept through Eric washing his feet and face with warm water. He has never done that before.

The last picture is my Irish husband helping his Italian Grandfather water his Tomato Plants and Green Pepper plants. He is doing the same thing Grandpa does whenever he comes to visit us. Always keeping busy and helping out in the yard or wherever you need help.