So Blessed To Be Matthews Mom In MA

Saturday...okay got that right? LOL

2010-02-13T12:47:00.003-05:00

Today I was able to sleep in til 10 am..and am so thankful, being I went out last night with some mom's to celebrate a really good friend's birthday. I left early. I'm always so tired. I feel like maybe if someone could let me sleep for a week, I will have caught up on all the sleep I missed over the past 8 years, since I got pregnant.

Matthew and Eric went out to play in the snow today. Matthew received a really cool snowball maker as a birthday gift, that he had been dying to use. Thank you God that the cold weather doesn't bother Eric, the way it bothers me. I always feel it in my bones, and am always cold, no matter how bundled I get.

Tomorrow is Valentines day. When I married Papa Swan I told him, that due to us being married so close to this holiday, that my real valentine's day is our anniversary. I told Matthew the other night at dinner, that Mommy married my valentine and that is why my anniversary is more important than the day 4 days before. Although I also told him, that since he has been born, he is also my valentine and for him, the day is special. He was the most wonderful valentine's / anniversary present that first year. And continues to be, everything to me, that no holiday or card could ever come close to representing.

Happy Valentines Day to everyone that is celebrating it with ones that you love. Love in itself is definitely a reason for a celebration, and should last more than one day a year. Otherwise, it's kind of hypocritical, or doesn't feel as special, due to anyone can make a difference for one day in some one's life....it's all those days in between though that matter.

Today's Friday, yesterday wasn't Remember When Wednesday!! LOL

2010-02-12T07:50:00.004-05:00

Okay, not only do I stay away for a long time, but when going to type my title today being Thankful Thursday, it hit me!! I am so off right now:-)

I am happy though this morning. Just got back from Shaws and nothing starts my day better than Matthew's voice, then Tastycake Butterscotch Krimpets at my local store. I know they have been up here in MA for awhile now, but to get my favorites so close, finally!! And to have it with my French Vanilla coffee, you know it's going to be a good day.

I had to run a few errands this morning, because today in school Matthew's first grade class will be singing to him Happy Birthday along with some Valentine partying at the same time.

It is also Pajama Day, little things make us so happy in this world. Matthew gets to wear his new pajamas from Aunt K with Anakin Skywalker, Yoda and Hans Solo on them. He is one happy little guy.

He is continuing to impress me every day and I could type til the end of the earth about all that he is amazing at, but trying to move forward and not so much catch up with the past year.

At this time though, he loves anything Lego's, and of course the Wii, he aces at every game he does and makes my playing of the old Nintendo or Atari, look really pathetic. I was good at them though at the time. When my father had his pizza place when I was 14, he would give out 6 free slices to anyone who could beat my score on the Donkey Kong game he had there.

Matthew though takes everything to a whole other level. He still looks at the world like a sponge!! Yesterday in school he came home with a paper with two faces made out of black construction paper, that were Abraham Lincoln and George Washington. I told him that when Mommy was a girl, our teacher put the projector on the wall, so we could trace out those faces. He said "Mommy they don't do that anymore, we just trace the face onto the paper"...that was back in the old days....

He loves math, and is getting better at reading, more so when he hasn't had a long day already. He was given a wonderful gift of Treasure Island and read it for his first official book (with my help) for a project we have with the town and the school. This week we read another wonderful book by our friend along with one from his library.

He has been acing his spelling tests every week, and it reminds me of how much I loved spelling and still love reading. The next book we will read next week while on school vacation, is close to my heart.

In the 4th grade, my teacher would read to us My Side Of The Mountain . I don't know if it is because I had the biggest crush on this teacher, as he read and would pop his bubblicious bubble gum over his mustache, but when he read this book, it has stayed with me my whole life.

In my early 20's, I got the paperback of this book and re-read it. A few years ago, I got the movie version so Matthew could get the love of this little boy, with his pet peregrine falcon, in this tree in the woods. He loved it. I have been so waiting for this moment when I can now, share with him my book and we will re-read it together.

Ironically due to us living on the lake, we have wonderful wildlife and birds all around us. About a month ago, Matthew came home from school. I have his desk set up right in what would be the dining room, against a window, for light and as I was leaning over him, I thought some kind of shadowy figures flew outside the window, huge ones and maybe was our blue heron. I inched my way, down my house which is all windows and peeked out and on one branch on my neighbors tree, there sat a little above us two Red Tailed Hawks . I motioned quietly for Matthew to come over, and called my neighbor hoping they had a camera. They eventually flew away, but the wing span was incredible.

Ironically, my love of My Side Of The Mountain, has this inner boy in me, this love of things that I feel when I see them especially with my son with me to witness them with me. It's like we are living, and experiencing the amazingness of this world together and it is one amazing journey.

I miss him huge now that he is in school all day. I am so looking forward to next week when he has winter vacation and we have chances to bond more, with more memories. We are so far going to this SEE science center we went to a few years ago, that we know now he will appreciate so much more with their incredible Lego display of the whole town of Manchester, NH.

Well, have to get off now, so I can get in that shower, and get to his school later.

The bestest Lazer Tag/Climbing/Sliding/token for game party ever!! Happy 7th Birthday Matthew!!

2010-02-11T10:53:00.003-05:00

more pictures to come

Remember When Wednesday!! What's wrong with me??? Posting almost one year later

2010-02-11T08:57:00.004-05:00

I am a horrible person, letting FB consume my life. I have been away so long, that it has almost been like a loss to me..afraid to even look at my old love because I have been unfaithful...and it's true. I have missed my blog so much.

Ironically a few weeks ago, my miracle's birthday was coming up and I googled searched the words Jedi cakes. I was hoping for a Mario cake this year, but still looking for images and ideas..and guess what popped up first on the search.

So Blessed To Be Matthew's Mom In MA pictures from last years Star Wars Party....It stopped me short and took my breath, and then I had to click on it...and that was it. I couldn't at the time let myself back in, because I had to stay focused on my mission of planning his party and have enough distractions, but it has been calling to me ever since.

Today on FB, I accidentally was looking up an old high school class near mine, looking for an old girlfriend of mine...when I saw an ex-boyfriend's name with a picture of his son...I clicked on it, due to how cute his little boy is now. His wife has a blog, and I let myself into her and his world, and felt so guilty for not sharing over the past year again about my own blessing.

I am hoping to get back into this again. Matthew asked me the other day if I had a diary. I told him, "Remember Mommy's blog honey, that is my diary, that is my heart and soul, my journal."

There is too much to catch up again, so for now, one day at a time again. My mother will be gone almost 4 years on the 25th of February and I will be heading home for her mass, to attend with my dad. I miss her more than humanly possible to ever put into words.

Remember When Wednesday - After You Do Your Things, Thank You God For My Miracle

2009-05-20T17:30:00.007-05:00

Today I was going to go back and reflect on past memories for my Wednesday theme, but realized there have been some funny moments by my little guy lately that Mama Swan has been slacking on sharing about.

We have this routine at night before bed. Due to Matthew still sleeping with us (I know horrible mom that I am), still co-sleeping, anyway we have this routine.

Matthew will get dressed for bed, brush his teeth and then we or I will read him a story. Whenever it is time for Papa Swam do depart, whether after the story or before if he is busy, Matthew has for the past two years said "Daddy, After You Do Your Things, You Sleep With Me?"

Of which Daddy says "Yes and I love you" and kisses him and leaves the room.

Every night since his birth, I have said out loud to Him "Thank You God For My Miracle." Over the past year, Matthew has replied "Thank You God For My Miracle" and tells me he loves me and kisses me goodnight.

About a month ago, I had a girls night out with my friend Twins Mom. Matthew was on the couch, and yelled to me as I was heading out the door "After You Do Your Things You Sleep With Me?" Of which I dropped to the floor kissing and hugging him for his sweetness, and then he said "Thank You God For My Miracle, I love you Mommy."

Talk about dropping me to my knees. Yeah, I'm in love.

Horoscopes, reflecting, friends and the joy they bring no matter how you keep in touch

2009-05-19T08:31:00.003-05:00

That other website I belong to, the one I've become distracted by and addicted to the past oh..six months, has been a blessing in more ways than one.

For the past few years, I have blogged and hoped I would make connections in addition to my own spiritual therapy of sharing, really hoped more for someone to say, "me too."

The other site, has kept me in touch with my relatives and even one of my father's brother's, my cousins that usually I only see once a year and the time flies by and you wish it was longer.

It has also made my already formed friendships stronger and more of a consistent basis, which is what you need in life, to keep a sense of humor, a sense that you are not alone and a sense of well being in more than just sharing about Matthew, in sharing about you, as the human being you are who needs social involvement to stay human.

My Carebear refuses to join this site, yet has always remained in my heart and soul. She has always emailed me or called me, right around the time when I was thinking of her - but because I am an idiot with the phone, I've not been there for her the way she needs me to be.

I'm a horrible example sometimes of a friend. I know what I need in a relationship, yet when it comes time for me to splitting up myself between everyone that wants a piece of me, and that I also need a piece of...there is nothing left over...and it's not fair and it also doesn't make her any less of a friend in my heart.

My horoscope on that site, has been dead on since I joined. Today though, I think it is off a day.

It says: Conversations have a particularly emotional, intimate, or nostalgic tone. Sharing memories and reminiscences, or discussing a very personal topic is likely now. You may have a significant communication (email, phone call, or personal discussion with someone who was once very important to you or with whom you have a long history. This is a good time to reflect, review, and get a perspective on emotional matters or things of the past.

So, with that said, yesterday Carebear sent me an email while I was getting re-acquainted with my blog and said "Guess who I ran into" and in the next 24 hours connected me with another wonderful childhood friend and both shared the most beautiful photo's and updates on their lives.

It isn't important how we keep in touch, because the memories in our hearts are what hold us together...but sharing and keeping up is essential to letting us all know that yeah..we do care, we do still hold that bond that we formed so many years ago.

I love them!

Bad Mama Swan Blogger..bad..bad..bad..

2009-05-18T08:38:00.002-05:00

I can not believe it has been another almost two months since my last post..

Most of it has been due to no news is good news..and typical busy everyday life more keeping up with my friends and family on a daily basis, instead of the world in my mind....

Yet, something keeps pulling me back...Mother's day, my pain in my shoulder calcified fragment in my bursa of my right rotator cuff has kept me from here the past week...As Papa Swan is saying "Mama Swan hurt her wing."

Now that I have somewhat limited movement again...I feel like what if I couldn't type or share my thoughts of my son with the world...nothing is more painful to me, then not being able to express myself.

So, with that said, I am going to get back to sharing on a more weekly basis again..for my sake, for my memories of what I hope someday my almost first grader will understand why Mama would type on the computer every day!

I am still in awe...and this week will be my second chance to volunteer in his kindergarten class to see him in his element with teachers and friends and their well oiled machine of a class room schedule that is really wonderful to witness.

Later this week, for special person's day, Papa Swan will be the guest of honor and will get to witness Matthew in gym class.

Then the weekend is already Memorial Weekend, which to me is unfathomable. Where did the past two months go?

Bruins, Maple Sugar Trip and Spring Robin, Oh My...

2009-03-20T08:59:00.002-05:00

Last night, Papa Swan was wonderfully given two tickets to see the Boston Bruins play against the Los Angelas Kings. The seats were awesome and Matthew got his first taste of Professional Ice Hockey right up and close, only a few rows behind the Bruins players.

I am hoping to post some pictures later of their father/son moment.

This morning we were all excited. Not only is today the First Day Of Spring, which in my mind should be a National Holiday, but it was also Matthew's Maple Sugaring Season field trip.

He will learn how the tree function changes through the seasons and observe tools used from Native American to Colonial to Modern Day and then get to taste the different tastes between the sap and the syrup.

We started the day, with a visit while waiting for the school bus, from the biggest fattest Robin on a tree branch near where we were standing. It was the only one around..and it landed near us, chirping away. I asked Mrs. (assumed pregnant already due to the size of the belly) Robin, where did you go for the winter? We were so happy to see that robin!

And so far, it is the only one around, from other friends - we are the only one's...hmmm. Sign of spring, I think so!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2009-03-17T07:40:00.003-05:00

My Leprechaun was looking forward to a good day at school today, wondering if the leprechaun from last year in preschool would again visit his school and leave some gold glitter footprints around.

Last night, Eric taped Matthew playing his acoustic guitar along with Metallica's Whiskey In The Jar and Enter Sandman. It was the Irish guitar playing performance of a lifetime. I am hoping one of these days to share some moments from the video..baby steps...one thing at a time.

Enjoy your day and don't drink too much green beer!

We So Can't Wait For Spring to Officially Come Next WEEK!!- Matthew's LONGEST BASEBALL GAME EVER!

2009-03-12T08:49:00.005-05:00

Matthew has had a cough since Monday. Over the weekend, the temperatures were warmer, so then typical New England weather the next day it will be freezing!

We are so ready for this long winter to be done, for more reasons than one.

It has been tough being housebound and the moment the sun comes out and the temperatures rise, the music gets turned up and you can just feel the change in the air, in the house...it's like we all breathe a sigh of relief...............aaahhhhhhhhh we made it! We survived again!

Then it gets cold again the next day, and Mama Swan can barely type and move her body due to her limbs being frozen all the time.

I am sick of wearing sweats and sweaters!! I wish the warm weather lasted a lot longer.

I know this sounds like a complaining blog..but really it's not. I'm just waiting for my fingers to warm up so I can blog more.

On a warmer note, one sign of spring is baseball season. The other day, I got an email from another mom, wanting me to register Matthew for the longest game ever. It is a 36 hour game that is being played in our town and to register him for free, it created the most awesome fundraising and proud mommy moment for me. It created a page with Matthew's picture, and his name was scattered throughout the page. I am copying some of it to protect our identity but still with sharing this awesome moment for my little T-Ball player:

TOP FUND-RAISING INCENTIVE PRIZE LUNCH WITH CURT SCHILLING Each player who raises $250 will be invited to a pizza lunch featuring Red Sox great, CURT SCHILLING. Curt will sign autographs, share stories and pose for pictures with the kids. The TOP 32 overall fund-raisers will get to sit at CURT'S table during lunch!

On the weekend of June 6 and 7 all 800 ____Massachusetts youth baseball and softball players including Matthew will attempt to set the WORLD RECORD for the longest baseball game ever played, 36 hours!

The event will take place in ____, Massachusetts at the __Complex.

Every player from each team will participate in the event.

The Longest Baseball Game will begin at 8:00 a.m. on Saturday June 6 and end 36 hours later, at 8:00 p.m. on Sunday, June 7.

The current world record for the Longest Baseball Game is 32 hours 29 minutes 25 seconds set October 13-14, 2007 in St. Louis, Mo.

In order for this event to be a success we need your help.

Please consider contributing towards Matthew's personal fund-raising goal. We're offering great incentive prizes for Matthew including a great top fund-raising prize to be announced soon!

Our goal is to raise $100,000 to distribute to charities that include the local DARE program, and March of Dimes. The entire game will be broadcast on the Internet at___.

The exact time of Matthew's game will be posted on the home page soon so you can listen to Matthew help set a WORLD RECORD!

Thank you for your support!

NOW, HOW COOL IS THAT!! AND SUCH AN AWESOME FUNDRAISING IDEA!!

Make that Three Teeth in One Week and some green leaves for Mama Swan

2009-03-09T09:25:00.002-05:00

Knock on Wood, the incident the other day possibly was a one time deal. His teacher assured me that there was no need for us to meet and talk about it..so fingers crossed.

The other night, Matthew yelled, "MY OTHER TOOTH FELL OUT!!!!"

That makes three teeth right next to each other on the top! I'm having a heart attack picturing him toothless very soon.

He had fallen, running up my hardwood stairs earlier in the day and banged his chin very hard. I'm thinking that combined with Papa Swan noticing he hadn't stopped wiggling the tooth for the past couple of days, might have done the trick.

I don't know if this is normal. Three teeth in one week???? I have to make him a dentist appointment.

The weekend provided some warm weather, so yesterday he was outside with Papa Swan playing in the yard.

I was upstairs doing laundry I had been avoiding all week, along with some spring fever to get me to organize some old toys, old clothes..etc..

Matthew yells to me from downstairs "MOM!! I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU!!! BUT I CAN'T BRING IT UPSTAIRS BECAUSE I HAVE MUD ALL OVER MY BOOTS!!

I come downstairs to meet him halfway through the house, with his muddy boots, but I get over it quick when he hands me about 20 small sticks all tight together in his hands...and then says "See there is some green leaves in there too!"

The pile is still on my counter and I plan on keeping those green leaves forever in my treasure chest...of little things he gives me.

Snow today..but who cares..more green leaves right around the corner.

Tough Day for Mama Swan

2009-03-05T09:38:00.003-05:00

Alright, I don't even know where to begin.

My little guy is so in need of a brother or a next door neighbor to play with on a constant daily basis.

He has this need to wrestle and want to be constantly be active, that I know is completely normal for a six year old boy. He is so all boy, that we just can't give him all that he needs everyday and for me, as his mom, it's draining. Emotionally.

There are two boys in his class that he is constantly looking up to and wanting to impress. They are twins and they have each other not only in class, but at home when they get off the bus. One of them, from the stories I get in bits and pieces from Matthew...seems a little bit bullish and someone that I try to tell Matthew that it is okay to just be himself and not look up to this boy, but just be himself and be the good kid that he is.

Yesterday morning before getting on the bus, literally as I'm helping him put on his coat, he said "Mrs. __ said I have never got a bad note, yet! But that for pushing someone I could!" I looked up horrified that he was mentioning it as we were walking out the door and told him, he better not push anyone and that he should always use his words.

He came off the bus yesterday and literally was doing the Irish Jig for his friends on the bus, like a show, as he headed in the house. I thought wow he is having a great day!

I opened up his backpack to see the day's work or artwork and it was filled to the rim, with Cat In The Hat that we hung on the window and other work on numbers, when I saw this little note from his teacher with his name on the top of the page.

I looked at the circled item mentioning that he had "Not kept his hands to himself" and then mentioning that we need to enforce these rules at home. At the bottom of the page, she mentioned in handwriting that he had kicked another child........

I wasn't even going to type it, blog it...It hurts me so much to know that my little miracle, is acting this way.

When I was reading the note out loud, he took it and out of frustration, tore it up into three pieces and crumpled it and then hid behind the couch. I asked his what happened. He mentioned another child wanted to play with someone..whatever... I told him that he is never to hit, push or kick anyone in school and due to that there would be no TV or computer games, Nintendo all day.

It was a long day.

When the day was almost done, he wanted me to play with him and I'm just so sad about this, that I just wanted to crawl inside of myself. He said then the words that will haunt me for the rest of my life, "Why did you have me if you didn't want me????"

Me...who has this blog, who gave birth, who prayed for him, who is so blessed by him, who is so in awe of him, who just thinks life wasn't life before he was on it...I didn't want him.

I can't type these words..it is killing me...I really wish I had my own mother right now, to help me to give me advice...

This morning, as he was getting on the bus after promising us this will never happen again, he kissed me and then said "Mom, any more only hugs when the bus is coming..you can kiss me before hand!"

Talk about my heart breaking.

I hope and pray that this is the last note we ever get. I know he is full of testosterone and that he is all boy and in class with twelve other boys and that these things happen.

I am blessed and thankful for him and couldn't imagine life without him!! Thank you God!

Mama Swan's Night Out - The Great Escape and Matthew's Two Top Front Teeth

2009-03-03T10:08:00.006-05:00

On Satuday night, I had a much needed and planned night out with some old and new friends. About a month ago, I found a sign at a local club for a Journey Tribute Band.

They are called The Great Escape.

What a fitting title.

I had planned to see them, we got tickets for a few mom friends to get out and what an ESCAPE it was.

The pub where they were playing was a little tight quarters, but so worth it. I had a few too many Smithwicks that four days later, I'm still feeling.

On the way out the door to go out with my friends, Matthew yells "I LOST MY TOOTH!!" We look at him, as blood is covering his mouth from his front tooth that came out.

I only have one picture now of the one tooth, before my ESCAPE was done, when I came home Papa Swan said "The one next to it came out too!"

Now everything he does in so precious with his little toothless grin. He can be so bold and with that grin...we are just dying with love and a little laughter on the inside. I can't believe my little guy who just turned six has now lost four teeth. The ones on the bottom he lost last summer after a light saber incident. They are now coming in.

Everytime I look at his picture from last year on my desktop, I just sigh at the little baby teeth in his smile that are now gone.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT KELLIE

2009-02-28T12:07:00.000-05:00

Make a Smilebox greeting

Month in pictures - Matthew's STAR WARS MOVIE PARTY

2009-02-27T08:46:00.004-05:00

Bad Blogger...Bad Mama Swan...Bad....

2009-02-27T08:11:00.003-05:00

I am mortified that it has been almost 30 days since my last post!!

This happened last year at this time. With Matthew's sixth birthday, his party, other birthday parties, anniversaries, visit to PA to see Grandpa P, Uncle J and Uncle Phil, back to school...it has just flown by...

There is no excuse for it. My little guy has had some great moments this month, including turning six. (Only four years from ten..double digits..stop hyperventilating)

The Public Library is one of the best resources in MA for discounted passes to the best museums, zoos, water parks, science and children museums. When we were on school vacation last week, we were going to go. Mama Swan had her head swimming in just trying to prepare for a last minute decision that yes, we could split the week and see Grandpa in PA and be back in time for another birthday party/Mama Swan and Papa Swan's anniversary that she didn't get to the library in time.

Papa Swan has a bad earache, so we are going into town for a doctor's appointment anyway, so I reserved us a Boston Children's Museum Pass for Each coupon admits up to four (4) people at a reduced rate of $2.00 per person, as opposed to the regular charge of $12.00 for each adult and $9.00 for Matthew.

Not too shabby. They are all like that.

So I am going to wrap up this post, this month with a promise that next month..I will be better.

Fantasy Friday - Another Reality Mom's Night Out! & more

2009-01-30T10:45:00.002-05:00

Well, it's funny. Some people will say "How was your weekend?" or "Aren't you glad, it's Friday!!"

When your a stay at home mom (currently looking for part time work from home at night again), weekends and Friday's aren't the same as they are for the normal working folk.

For the past six years (one more week), every day, every minute, every second, every year....has been combined into one long and lovingly rewarding from Matthew, space of time.

Unfortunately, Papa Swan is still in between jobs, as well, so when he is home, it's like one long weekend as well. It's a good thing for Matthew, he has Daddy to play with him, to help me with errands and housework, and even meeting other mom's for Matthew's scheduled play dates, when I have been sick.

During the past six years, one friend of mine has been consistently there for me. My friend P, aka Twins Mom. Her heart and devotion to me and not letting my lack of phone calls affect her friendship and for that, I am so thankful.

Tonight, together with her and another wonderful friend, N (R's mom), we will finally get out into the real world on a Friday night. With other people that have jobs during the week, and still schedule dates with friends, or real dates for the movies.

It's something how something that simple, can be so taken for granted.

When I was younger, literally every week I either brought my little brother Phil with me to the movies, or went on dates with girlfriends or otherwise to movies every week twice a week...sometimes twice in the same day. hehe

Granted our financial situation, makes my enjoying movies at the theater a fantasy these days. Thank God for P's coupons!!!!

Tonight Mama Swan is going to see Revolutionary Road with Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio. The last two movies Papa Swan and me saw actually in the theater, was one before Matthew was born, and then ten years ago Titanic. He doesn't like the seating in the theater, and would prefer to watch them at home.

I am so looking forward to being with the girls tonight to see the reunion, in this movie. Their chemistry is unbelievable.

Nothing like that unbridled love to make my Friday night! Not to mention my weekend! Or year!

Remember When Wednesday - Matthew's first Valentine's day, Planning his 6th Birthday Party

2009-01-14T09:30:00.006-05:00

The last week, I have been consumed by planning my little guy's sixth birthday party.

How is it possible that he is turning six in just a few weeks...closer to the double digits for the rest of his life?

He is having a Star Wars birthday party this year. Mama Swan found an a inexpensive (compared to the other choices available) way to have his party at a movie theater nearby, with his friends from school and his family. We will have the movie and cake, popcorn and drinks and hopefully the little princess' we are inviting don't get scared.

I chose the original Star Wars from 1977, now called Star Wars IV A New Hope.

(it wouldn't let me copy my cute little clip art from the invitation, but here is an edited version)

A LONG TIME AGO

IN A GALAXY FAR AWAY, ON FEBRUARY 7, 2003,

A BOY OF DESTINY WAS BORN

THIS YOUNG JEDI, MATTHEW
WILL CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHDAY IN A GALAXY NEAR YOU.

PLEASE JOIN US ON FEBRUARY 7, 2009

TO JOIN JEDI MATTHEW AND HIS FRIENDS

AT THE THEATER

FOR STAR WARS IV MOVIE, A NEW HOPE

JOIN US FOR CAKE:
BEFORE THE MOVIE, AT 1:30
WITH THE MOVIE IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING, STARTING NO LATER THAN 2:00.

PLEASE SUBMIT THIS INVITATION TO THE CONCESSION STAND,
AND EACH INVITED JEDI KNIGHT OR PRINCESS WILL RECEIVE A COMPLIMENTARY POPCORN AND DRINK.

PARENTS: THE CONCESSION STAND WILL BE OPEN DURING THE MOVIE – AT ONE DOLLAR AN ITEM.
DUE TO THE SIZE OF THE THEATER, SIBLINGS AND PARENTS ARE WELCOME AND ENCOURAGED TO STAY AND ENJOY THE MOVIE.
Note: There is NO arcade at this location, other than the actual movie theater, so the Jedi’s and Princess’ will remain in the theater.
*** PLEASE RSVP, NO LATER THAN JANUARY 31, 2009 TO THE JEDI’S MOM AT

I figured with today's updated technology and violence and even cartoons on Cartoon Network, that this was the best choice. We saw Clone Wars which is the animated cartoon, but it really is more violent than the original movie, in my opinion.

There are a few touchy scenes like the compact garbage scene and the one where Obi wan cuts off a guys arm, but I'm hoping the girls anyway are distracted or something during this (brief few seconds) time. Other moms are assuring me that if the parents think it is scary, then they will take the kid home or out to the lobby for a moment before returning.

The rest of the movie is awesome with R2D2 and C-3P0 and Chewbacca.

Anyway, it's a cold one up here in New England today with only 10 degrees and wind chills below Zero.

We got to go sledding earlier in the week though, so we at least got in our fun outside before this Midwest artic freeze they are calling for the rest of the week, sets in.

I wanted to post pictures of our sledding trip, but my camera is acting up and my friend N, sent them to me in a format, where I can't use them until I order them.

It's hard to believe that Matthew's first Valentine's day in the NICU was six years ago.

Thankful Thursday - Mama Swan Almost Sliding Into Lake, Elmo

2009-01-08T09:10:00.003-05:00

Alright....I'm bad when I'm blogging about this, but it was funny.

For the past few weeks, we have been having snow storms, icy conditions, cold temperatures and the usual New England wonderfulness that makes getting out of the house so enjoyable at this time of year. On the sunny days, it's freezing and Mama Swan is a warm weather bird.

Yesterday we had another, and they canceled Matthew's AM kindergarten classes due to the messy conditions.

This morning, was left behind solid ice.

I have a five minute window to get Matthew dressed in his coat and paraphernalia for this weather, putting on his backpack and heading the little penguin up my sidewalk and concrete stairs to the street level to meet the bus.

It isn't like I have to go far.

Today, it might as well have been across town.

As we were heading out the door, I put on my pair of Surell Boots, Papa Swan and I share. They were a gift to me, from him a million moons ago...but he gets more use out of them. I wore his coat, since it was handy and didn't put on gloves (only going up the sidewalk and stairs, why would I need them???)

I told Matthew as we were heading out, be careful...go slow and I'll hold you up and we will hold hands.

Yeah right. He was booking it no problem, saying "Mommy, we can skate!!!!"

I said, "Let's walk in the snow, it's easier to put your foot into it if you stomp hard enough and it will help your balance."

We did and it was easier....

BUT

Then we were at the steps that go up to the street.

Matthew had no problem, rushing ahead...while Mama Swan literally was balancing with one finger onto one little patch of rock that wasn't frozen. I couldn't move and I'm yelling to him "Don't go onto that street!!!! If I don't make it up there, you are not getting on the bus!! I need to be up there with you!!! Don't move...get away from the edge of the stairs..stop swaying back and forth!!!!"

All the while I'm trying to find some way to get myself to move up them.

I finally did, but knew if my neighbors are looking out their window right now...they had to be getting the laugh of the morning...seeing me trying to balance on a finger or and almost kill myself.

Fun, Fun Fun...

Earlier in the morning, Matthew got up even earlier with me and I wasn't ready. We put on the end of Sesame Street and I thought I love Elmo...and looked around from a play date earlier in the week, he was still in the living room.

I plopped our Huge Elmo, into the chair next to Matthew and said in a funny voice "Elmo loves Matthew, Can Elmo go to school with Matthew this morning??"

He looked at him and said "NO, ONLY IF HE GETS HIS OWN BUS!!"

Yet, I am not allowed to get rid of him or any other big stuffed animal taking up room in the house. hehe

Grandpa Shows Up With Cabbage!!

2009-01-06T08:30:00.004-05:00

Last night during dinner, Matthew ran to me and said, "Tell me a story about your mom!"

I said, "You mean when I was little?"

He said, "Yes, Anything!"

I was shocked the way he came up to me and just asked me straight out about her. I told him how she was so beautiful, as I was quickly racking my brain for good memories with her. Due to her illness, my memory isn't the best with the good times, and I don't want him to know that.

So, I told him how she loved to bake and was so beautiful.

I then remembered a funny story but had to alter it a little due to his age.

I told him when his Grandpa met Grandma, he worked on a farm. My father being all Italian in the summer working on the farm, would get very dark. (I left that part out) I told him that Grandpa was so happy to meet Grandma, that one day he brought a head of cabbage to her house.

He knocked on the door and Matthew's Great-Grandmother opened the door in shock!!!

I told Matthew it was due to the size of the cabbage. It was really about the darkness of my father and him standing there at the front door of my Irish Grandmother's house, with that head of cabbage.

It was late 1950's early 1960's! So she was a little shook up!

My Grandmother then ran into the other room, screaming who and why is this man at our door?

I didn't explain this part to Matthew. He was happy with the fact that Grandpa showed up with the cabbage for Grandma!

Part of my resolution this year, is not to feel bad about the past..yet this isn't feeling bad, it's sharing memories.

I always wish Matthew had more people around to say, when your mom was a girl she did this, or your Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle's and cousins did this...

You get the picture....not only his memories yet to be created, but to also have a sense of who we all are, and our memories to help mold his life.

Yesterday and today, I have been back to the routine of school again, as well as the getting up early. I am getting myself up 45 minutes to an hour earlier than him, to have a cup of coffee, wash my face, get dressed and take care of me so I can then tackle him.

My hair is now in layers, and the girl said to get the curly look just let it dry by itself, so I have been letting the back dry and just take care of my bangs.

This morning, after doing my hair.

He looks at me and said "Mommy, your hair is messy still!"

I said, "Hey, I got up early to fix it so it isn't messy honey...this is the style."

He said, "Oh yeah, I like it like that!"

I now have to just go vacuum, play date today with some friends that we miss and I promise I am not cleaning more than that, the bathroom and the kitchen counters!

I have pride!

New Year's Eve

2009-01-03T15:08:00.001-05:00

Satisfying Saturday - Silly I know

2009-01-03T14:35:00.004-05:00

But that is how I feel! It's amazing what the phone will do for you!!

By 10:30 am, I had already called two friends and my Aunt Sissy to wish her a HAPPY 81ST BIRTHDAY!!

One of my friends, twinsmom and I haven't had a girls night in a while, so tonight we are doing comedy movie at her house! I am soooo looking forward to it!

By 2:30, I had talked to a few other friends who I had lost touch with over the years, and I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to be able to just hear their voice and to have absolutely no awkward moments in the conversation.

I had also talked to my little brother Phil, catching him up on his nephew's recent Mario antics. We have found a Godfather Mario today online with the music and Mario dressed in Mafia attire shooting the bad guys. The other day we found a Lego video on YouTube (both with Mama Swan's right next to him), of Lego's in concert doing AC/DC TNT and Back In Black!! hysterical!!

It's amazing though after a few phone calls, and numerous emails on that other website I hang out on, what that does for the soul.

It makes me a happier me, a more complete me, which makes for a more complete mom and wife!

It's all just wonderful.

Glad to see I'm sticking to my resolutions!

It's early I know....but things are different!

Fantasy Friday - 15 Realistic Goals for 2009

2009-01-02T09:44:00.006-05:00

I'm hoping these fantasies will become realities:-) I was going to do one for every week, but only got to 15 before Matthew came and now I have to get off.

Life Goals and/or Family goals (not really in order):

Get a job part time 30 hours, where I can still work from home, make alot of money and be there for Matthew's care and maybe even enough hours for insurance.
Quit Smoking as soon as I get a job.
Make sure that nothing, stands in the way of Matthew enjoying life as the "sponge" he is, while making sure we have enough money to provide him with opportunities/ lessons/teams etc.
Continue to hit the library for free or discounted passes for Zoo's, museums, and all other cultural advantages for Matthew.
At least one weekend a month or two at the most, visit cousins in Boston, and his grandparents, so Matthew can continue to have a loving a warm relationship with them.
Plan his birthday party economically. (already working on this one)
We are having Easter at our house this year! Invite both sides of the family and plan that dinner!
At least during vacation time, visit cousins, Uncles and Grandpa in PA and if we have time, our hearts and arms are open to all other visits while there.
Start Cooking more home made dinners. I got out of the habit when Eric would work late nights and was only cooking for Matthew and me, now hard to get back into it. Need to have my elbow room back.
Eat Veggies (raw) instead of french fries and snacks. Stop buying them altogether and readjust Matthew's palate to raw healthy food, instead of french fried everything.
Instead of sending emails...limit my time on computer other than a job and morning blogging, pick up the phone and call friends and family.
Go to church every week!!!
In between my new (hopefully) job, blogging, calling people and eating healthy, have friends and family over for games, for dinners, for coffee or tea, for whatever so Matthew can have his friends as well over and experience life on his turf:-)
Cut down on my cleaning. The above number #13 can't happen if I'm constantly doing laundry, worrying about the counters, the clutter etc..... It's more important that the house be dirty and he have more "fun" than My being overwhelmed with cleaning bathrooms and laundry and making beds...then being so tired...to have anyone over and take a shower, come last and sometimes I'm too tired.
Make sure that we are eating veggies and healthy so I have more energy.

Might add to this another day....

Traditional Irish Blessing

2009-01-01T16:45:00.003-05:00

I received this absolutely beautiful Irish Blessing today from my irish father-in-law. I wanted to post it on my site, to stay here but don't know how to work flash with blogger yet.

SO, until I do please click on Traditional Irish Blessing and then click start!

What a great way to start the year with the beautiful pictures and music on this card...brought back some memories for Papa Swan and Mama Swan:-)

Thankful Thursday - First day of 2009

2009-01-01T09:27:00.002-05:00

A couple of days ago, I was thinking of having some old friends over with their kids for New Year's eve. Thought it was time and Matthew could play with the kids and stay up late, for his first time.

Due to the snow storm, we got 7 inches yesterday and we're pretty much housebound.

The night before, I was awake all night thinking of things in my head and not being able to fall asleep. One was - about 7 or 8 years ago, we were going to have a New Year's eve party and for some reason, it didn't pan out. I had bought decorations, blowers, hats, those hand things that rattle, balloons etc....

Yesterday afternoon I asked Eric, if he had seen that old bag that we never used. He thought I had thrown it out. We were all down in our basement, with the fire going while Matthew was creating beautiful artwork from his Blendy Pens Santa got him. I looked across the room, and jumping right out at me - was the bag.

We had the best time decorating the basement and having our own little party to decorate and Matthew hung his pictures all over the place, helped me put up streamers.

Eric braved the blizzard to get us Chinese for dinner, and Matthew said "I want to do this every New Years Eve."

Around 8:30, it was time for him to go to bed and I don't know what made me think of it, but am so glad I did.

I said to Papa Swan, "Let's pretend it's midnight with him right now and countdown and wear the stuff and blow those thingamagigs and yell Happy New Year!!" We did..and then we ended Matthew's night with a nice family hug and warm wishes for us and love, hugs and kisses.

Happy New Years Everyone

2008-12-31T17:30:00.004-05:00

Just wanted to wish my family and friends a HEALTHY, HAPPY, PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR with lots of love and family to be in your life.

That's my only wish for this new year.

That of course includes myself, Papa Swan and Matthew:-)

My resolution for 2009 is:

to stop feeling weighed down by finances, friends and family far away and to start taking control of my own life right here. I know I am blessed with Matthew, but I really need to put into action my taking my "own" happiness into gear. Not only will I find a job again to help us out, but will also make sure Matthew has a well balanced life with his self esteem in tact as well as his sense of "family" on both sides of his family that are part of "who he is".

My resolution is to begin tackling every day right here. As I have been, but with a different mindset. More of a mission, than feeling like a victim of my own decision to move here many years ago. It was my decision. I'm tired of playing the same old tapes over in my head and my heart.

No one will ever hear me say again (uh oh..should I really type this)...no one will ever hear me say again.....that it is hard...poor me.

You all know my heart, but for Matthew's sake as well as my own sake, I need to focus on what is here.

I've always been the one to put everyone in my life first, and due to that I've not taken courses, stayed at jobs, gave up social engagements due to someone else's views or opinions or lack of desire from other parties involved, kept in contact with certain friends, to more recently wearing the same old sweats year after year and basically just become someone who has lost herself.

No one can help me, but me. No one can help enforce my life, but me. I'm not blaming anyone but me.

Therefore, as my resolution for my life's sake, for my miracle's sake:

I resolve to find "me" again, to reach out again, to learn how to listen to other's again, to be a friend again in order to gain a friend, to learn how to use the phone again (still blog though). I resolve to work on me and not feel sorry for myself anymore.

Starting tomorrow!

Tonight I will drink White Zin and have one more pity party!!

Cheers!

Love you all!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

2008-12-24T10:13:00.002-05:00

He's coming.....If you check out Norad's website to track Santa, he is now in Mongolia!!! Matthew just yelled to me that he has moved from Japan into "another state!!! Mommy!! Mongolia"

Make sure you are good today!!! He always has time to check in on who is being naughty or nice:-)

We love you all!
The Swan Family

Tuesday Catching up with Matthew's creativity

2008-12-23T09:43:00.009-05:00

Today I was just going to post a few things because I have been trying to keep my neck and shoulder area happy. All week last week, my body was so sore and then on Friday morning, I woke up with the worst neck pain that really wouldn't let me do anything but sit on the recliner with pillows behind my head.

Usually neck pain or a crimp in your neck goes away in an hour or so....not me...try 4 days now and I still can't turn my head to the left.

Finally yesterday I forced my self to get out and pray I only drove in a straight line to get some shopping done.

I was able to make it back safely.

This is ridiculous! I can't be "grounded" at this time of year!!

Not to mention we now have two feet of snow on the ground due to two winter storms, so scraping the ice of your car and the snow is really hard when you can't move your neck and you are in pain...

Alright enough about me.

On a lighter and happier and funnier and lovelier note. Matthew has had a wonderful week of making memories with Papa Swan, using his creative side

and helping me bake cookies (before my neck pain)

and yesterday after letting it sit overnight we attempted to finish off a gingerbread house we had hanging around from last year. It was practice for today. It is my sister in law's annual gingerbread house day with her sons and nieces and nephews that she does every year. Eric will be driving us. There is no way I could attempt Boston driving until my neck feels better.

Last Tuesday, Eric was watching Chronicle and they mentioned there was Harvard Museum Of Natural History that he had never been to in Cambridge that between certain hours on Wednesday afternoons was free to the public. He took Matthew and they had a ball.

This was a creation that he made for us with his teachers for Christmas that he insisted we both open. It is the most beautiful handmade calender for the new year. It is absolutely precious and something I as a mom, treasure so much. To have him do this, and not tell us and to have the teachers do this with him, it really is a tearjerker. Pictures to come at a later date.

Some funny quotes and antidotes from him this week:

He is singing and humming Jingle Bells, and Gloria Estevan's Let It snow by dancing and putting his finger up in a John Travolta style on the emphasis of the music. He does this while making gingerbread houses, building Lego's or playing Mario.
Making the Gingerbread House, he told me he wanted to add A GARAGE!
Matthew: Mommy, what year was I born? I told him 2003. Matthew: It hasn't changed yet?
While playing with his Lego's under the Christmas tree before school in the morning, he says "Mommy, I want to be a professional FISHERMAN when I grow up!" I told him he can do anything he puts his mind to! He said "And I want to catch trout for us for dinner!!"
This morning, first words out of his mouth were: I had a nightmare that a Mexican bear was chasing me and my cousin C.
Last night he fell asleep before Daddy's promised kiss and a hug, so first thing today he ran into Daddy to hug him and tell him "YOU FORGOT TO GIVE ME A HUG AND A KISS LAST NIGHT!" We assured him, he didn't forget, but he was asleep when he got them.

Thankful Thursday - One Week left before Christmas

2008-12-18T08:11:00.003-05:00

This year, due to finances we have had to cut back like everyone else. It stinks. I normally do a calender of pictures of Matthew for all grandparents and us, but this year we will be back to using the old ones they send us in the mail from the oil company.

Unless the after Christmas deals, make it extremely worth my effort:-) Hmmmmm...brain now working....

This year, we will forgo our present to one another again, for Matthew's sake so he can have what he deserves..and to pay the mortgage.

This year, again we will be happy and thankful for the blessings we have year round, the memories we make all year to fulfill our Christmas wish. That is really the most important thing.

I really believe that it is not the size of the present that is opened, but the love behind the gift.

For Matthew's sake, for him to understand giving and receiving from the heart, I just ask Papa Swan to make sure he is involved with letting Matthew make me a gift from his heart, and to be there when Papa Swan "gets me something small" to show Matthew that it is coming from him, and to be excited about giving to his "wife". Just as he needs to be apart of my giving to Papa Swan. He needs to witness this type of love on both sides, in order to feel whole and complete, and go out there in the world someday and have the generosity within his heart.

I believe that the memories and pictures that I take year round, witnessing the love from Daddy to son, from Matthew with anyone on both sides of our family enjoying life...are my continued love.

The gift that I give of capturing these moments is what gets me through each season, each winter, each day.

I really wake up each day and end the day thanking God for my miracle.

Again, I wouldn't have that miracle without Papa Swan. We wouldn't have our home.

So all I really am asking Santa for is that reciprocated love all year round, that Matthew can grow into the most high esteemed man someday by knowing all the gifts that he can give and receive in life.....without even spending a penny.

Well most of the time:-)

My point is, with one week left before the big day, I just want to make sure that Matthew turns into the most well rounded man someday. With love and faith, and a kind and generous heart and full of the most wonderful esteem. The kind where he is not only smart and can conquer the world and anything he puts his mind to, but the kind where he is a "whole" man and is never afraid to keep showing his loving side, that one doesn't have to be compromised without the other and that they go hand in hand in life.

And to know that each day, is really a gift and to explode with life everyday.

Merry Christmas Matthew and Papa Swan! I love you!

Remember When Wednesday - Matthew Christmas Memories

2008-12-17T09:29:00.003-05:00

This morning it was a little snowy and mushy out getting ready for school. As I was getting him ready, I told Matthew that he has ten days off between Christmas Eve and January 5th, and that we would go to PA for a few days to fill in the time, just the two of us.

He wasn't happy with that. He wants to stay here and be at his house during his vacation. I told him it would only be for a few days, but he kept insisting he wants to stay at home. He wants to go sledding. I told him we could do that at home and in PA. He really kept insisting that he doesn't want to go.

I told him he hasn't been there since June and that Mommy would love for him to come with her, but he really kept insisting he didn't want to go. It's not that he doesn't want to see his family there, but I think the ride for him and the anticipated trip without Daddy being with him, was making him apprehensive.

So we shall see.

But in good news, he told me "Mommy, Christmas Morning is Next Week!!!" I said, "Yes, Santa comes on Christmas Eve and then when you wake up on Christmas morning, toys!!"

He said "LAST YEAR AND THE YEAR BEFORE, I KEPT GETTING UP EVERY DAY AND EVERY DAY AND THEN ONE DAY.......WAS FINALLY THE DAY!!!"

Yeah!!!

Too keep it this simple forever, I wish it would stay this way.....

Oh well.......

I thought I needed a change:-)

2008-12-16T09:59:00.002-05:00

My birthday gift to myself....and no your not seeing white stuff.

That is my snow falling.

Your computer isn't going out!!!

I looked out the window this morning, and thought I want to make it snow on my blog:-)

Catching Up with Uncle P and Grandpa P

2008-12-14T20:01:00.009-05:00

I really wish and pray that not only could I stick to blogging once a day, that I could stick to the promises and wishes that I make for myself everyday.

The last few weeks were busy trying to get ready for Thanksgiving, then my brothers visit with his beautiful and sweet family oriented new girlfriend M.

About a month ago, I mentioned to Phil (oh no I said it!) I'm tired of calling him P and he doesn't mind.

Anyway, we mentioned Matthew asked Santa Claus for Nintendo Mario paraphernalia and I asked him if he had any old stuff lying around, since he has played games since the original Nintendo. He said he didn't. He later called me to mention, that his girlfriend M had one in her trunk, that she wanted to "give" Matthew for Christmas. Now, how absolutely wonderful is she!!! Not only does she love to travel, she gets my brother up here to visit and bring my son his gift for a Super Nintendo System with controllers and three games, including Mario every kind made since 1985 (which is the one I used to play with my brother when he was little), Donkey Kong and Yoshi? Spelling not sure?

Now before they came, I called my brother that Friday night at 10 pm to ask when they would be leaving the next morning. We had already established they wouldn't leave until then, due to both of their work schedules. He told me they would leave Saturday morning around 6 and try to be in MA by 11. So when Matthew woke up at his usual 6:30 am time, we stayed in bed and stayed cozy until 8 before getting up.

I walked down to the kitchen, calling Phil on the cell phone just to make sure that he was on the road, and maybe now in upstate NY leaving him a message on his machine, since it didn't pick up. I hang up and I don't know what made me look up towards my street level, parked in front of my garage was a car!!! I opened the door looking all beautiful since I had not even showered or done anything except get out of bed, and screamed at him and her!! What are you doing here?????? You aren't supposed to be here for another three hours!!!! Look at me!!!!

As soon as M stepped into my house, with the warmest of hugs and smiles and the look on my brothers face of happiness, I could care less if I looked like I worked in the coal mines all day or was a chimney sweep. Their immediate happiness and my immediate happiness erased every feeling I had about my appearance.

They wound up getting on the road at 1 am because they like to do things like that!!

I used to do things like that, so I can relate. Before Matthew of course.

Anyway, after a brief nap, they gave me M's grandmother's unbelievable home made nut roll and my brother's home made Banana Bread with a nice bottle of wine. I told M that she had me as soon as she walked in, and said she loves to travel.

To see both of there faces, as they watched Matthew open up his gift from them, was something that will always be close to my heart. It is one thing to have someone enjoy opening a gift you got for them, but when it is your son, and his uncle came all that way for him, with M not only providing the present but the get down on your hands and knees and playing with my son, the getting on the floor, grabbing the controls and showing him every level of Mario, every level of Yoshi and every level of Donkey Kong. Matthew will always now hold her close to his heart.

She is queen in his eyes.

Not many girls come to our house and know the in's and outs of Mario!!

It's gifts to my son's heart that touch me. It wasn't the present. Although it is awesome. It was making Matthew feel special and that his home, and having his family here to enjoy it with him, to share in his joy of a game, or a story or memories in a photo album. I don't just like to take the pictures for the album, I like to capture that love that was given and received at that moment for my son.

When they had to leave to say it was sad, was an understatement. But not before promising to return when they have more time, and weather permitting.

The gift of my brother coming up with M, was all I could ever ask for.

Imagine my surprise, when last weekend for my birthday my father told me he would be coming up.

A first cousin of my father's passed away. He was going to attend the viewing at two o'clock and then get on the road. I told him he might hit rush hour traffic in Hartford, CT but he wasn't worried, driving slow taking his time..... When I had heard about our cousin that passed, it immediately gave me a chill due to him only two years older than my father. I told my father before he left, to be careful a few more extra times than before.

I had a gut feeling. That morning, my father forwarded me one of his many wonderful forwarded emails. This time it was Mother Teresa's Novena. I read it and forwarded it along.

At 5:30 I called him and sure enough, he was stopped. Traffic/ Hartford stop and go. He hadn't made it through the tunnel yet. I hung up with him, and he called me right back and told me a girl had just hit him from behind but that he and her were okay. His car had minor damage, with hers having more. They were calling the police. Between the time it took for the police to escort him off the highway, to when the state police showed up to file the report, he started to feel sore. His neck felt whip lashed. The state police escorted him to Hartford Hospital, where he stayed for another four hours before then driving the other hour and a half to my house. He wound up getting fully checked out to be on the safe side, and Thank God was OK.

I wanted to immediately drive to Hartford. I told Eric let's go. You could drop me off so he isn't at the hospital by himself and then I'll drive him to our house, in case he can't drive. My father and Eric insisted I just sit the emergency room visit out from home and be patient. I immediately needed a bottle of wine. I drove to the local supermarket to get one, and on the drive there had my long conversation with God making promises, and saying the Our Father.

As soon as I said it, I thought I have said this one more time today......then it hit me.....

The Mother Teresa Novena my father emailed me.

Sure enough God came through for me again. My father made it here safely and we enjoyed the rest of the weekend, by him taking his Irish/Italian daughter out for Irish lunch and ironically, my gift of a Frank Sinatra Inspired Print that said "Meeting Adjourned", could now be laughed about.

Ironically, I received that same Novena a few days later by another friend. I also received it back from some friends I had forwarded it too.

I know that God hears me.

I know that he hears me when I need him. I know that he knows I would do anything to not put my father or my family and friends in danger, driving up here late at night or not. ....freak accidents... if anything ever happened to those I love coming up here to visit me...I can't even think about it.

I also know that He knows me. He knows whats in my heart. He is here with me everyday. He is the one who sees my internal struggles within my heart for Matthew and for myself. I know that he is beside me and lifts me up to let me lean on him. Today was again another Sunday and this time during the most important month where I am trying to teach Matthew what "Christmas" is all about, that doesn't involve anything retail.

Again I failed, but I am getting closer. I made him listen to a story read online by someone breaking down the story of Mary and Joseph, the Angel Gabrielle, The Shepperd, and the Three Wisemen. Each segment was only four minute each, but was told in a soft and wonderful tone. I just wanted him to hear it from someone other than Mommy.

Well, when we were done, he couldn't wait to get back to Mario. I know I have my struggles, and again I know God knows I am trying.

In my own time, I am praying to get him there and to be apart of all that I know and love about Church and miss so much. I promise by the end of the year, we will do it...and we will start the new year off right. It will be just like giving up the binky for New Years before he turned two! That was it and it happened! Why can't all other struggles be that easy for me?

Remember When Wednesday - My Christmas Gift from God

2008-12-10T09:02:00.010-05:00

I know I am sooo crazy about my son, that it was once a joke by my brother in law, when Matthew was 4 months old...his picture was on the Internet more than Pamela Anderson:-)

Well, why should I stop now?

I am so thankful and lucky to have this muse to be able to show the world, how much I feel blessed.

Yes it is trying some times, now that he is approaching six years old, but when I stop to smell the roses everyday and listen to his little voice, watch his facial expressions in his jokes and animated stories and wondrous sponge for learning and showing us what he is learning; how could I not feel blessed?

Yesterday we went to his friend R's house for a play date. He had to make everyone a little scrolled piece of paper that he specially drew them a picture on from his heart. He did this on his own with no help or prodding from me. How proud was I when he couldn't wait to hand out four hand made gifts to his friends. This is the gift of giving, from his heart that I want him to learn and now it is happening. No words could express how that makes me feel.

Everyday, we have the little wonderful moments that fit in with the very trying getting up early, sticking to the routine on school days, tantrums over not getting his way with us, but when he is in one of his "awe" moments....and that's not aahhhh...that's "AWE", it is soooo worthwhile to just keep praying, keep feeling blessed and keep thanking God for my miracle.

Last night he ended the night with us, by showing how smart he is at adding!!!

Eric asked him how much is 10 plus 2.

We were only using our fingers at the time, so I thought I would hold up my fingers to help him count....he said "BE QUIET!!! I'M THINKING!!"

Eric and I held our breath while he had his head on the table and you could literally feel him thinking sooo hard..........

HE LOOKED UP AND SAID "TWELVE!!"

I literally danced the happiest dance, high fiving him and he told us "I didn't use my fingers" I counted it in my brain!!

I thought I would post some pictures to remember other Christmas past with my angel, in light

of the season upon us.

Well Last December Post before I'm over that 40 mark

2008-12-04T10:15:00.002-05:00

I was going to post about all that I'm thankful for being today, Thankful Thursday....but we all know about how thankful I am for my life, my son, my home and Eric...not necessarily in that order.

In a few days, I will be turning the big 41.............ugh............can't believe I can even type it, let alone say it, or read it, or feel it...

My heart and my mind feel 25...at the most!!! Some days it's younger, others it's way older..

My body when I look in the mirror and see who it looking back...just doesn't return the reflection of how I feel.

I know I'm not the only woman who wishes her hair didn't turn grey and less resistant to hair styling, her figure didn't round out where it used to be eye-catching, her body getting cold when it used to have more resilience for cold weather, her face a little more drawn and pronounced instead of clear complexion and unweathered...

But it doesn't make it any easier, knowing that I'm not alone.

I'm just not taking the aging thing well.

At least one thing will make me temporarily feel better, I will be getting my hair cut today..and I'm thinking with all of the millions of styles I have had over the years, the a-line bob type that I got last February..seems to have the most promise for me. Maybe next week I can get some of the grey colored... but one step at a time.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that Matthew thank you God, loves my hair anyway it is. Last night I asked him which style he liked my hair most.

THE KIND WHERE IT GETS WET AND YOU PUT SOAP ON IT!!!

I was giving him a bath while he said it, so I don't know if he was daydreaming about what he could do with mommy's hair when it is wet....

But at least the shorter hair will take less time to style, less color and less shampoo!!!

Fantasy/Reality Friday - Quips from Matthew and playdate with friends

2008-11-21T08:49:00.006-05:00

We had the wonderful occasion this week, to have two awesome play dates. The things that make me happy.

Not only did Matthew get along awesome with his friends R and D, this week..but Mama Swan was having a good time too with "her" friends, and got to hold a beautiful and sweet four month old baby for 4 hours this week.

I used to post Matthew's wonderful quips every week, and I have been slacking to say the least.

Here are some from this week:

Mommy, You are the most beautiful Mommy in the whole world, MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN A DINOSAUR.

(After taking him to visit Santa at Bass Pro Shops)- Mommy, I don't think there is a Santa Claus (after we had just wrote his list).....my jaw dropping and trying to pick myself off the floor asked him why he would say this? BECAUSE HE DROVE A TRUCK TO BASS PRO SHOPS.

I want to be a big brother. Why don't you have a girl, so I can have a sister.

My Lego Tower is going to be Eleven Feet High.

How Old is Grandpa P? After I told him, he said "I THINK HE IS 44."

Going out to the bus this morning, he was dilly dallying on the front porch and yelling ahead to me, What is Grandpa P's First Name? What is Grandpa K's First Name? Where is Grandma P? (I reminded him she is in Heaven and that she is his angel)....HE YELLED TO ME, AND DIDN'T MOVE OFF THE STEP......................I WANT TO PRAY TO HER RIGHT NOW.

And in other wonderful moments, thank you to D's mom, she sent me a beautiful picture of Matthew's creation yesterday. He literally can just live there now, due to D and his wonderful toys:-)

Italy, Italy, wedding in Italy

2008-11-12T08:35:00.004-05:00

No it's not Fantasy Friday. It's not Remember When Wednesday either.

It possibly becoming a reality Wednesday?

You all know (I know I am talking to myself), how much FAMILIA means to me. How my son and my family with my husband as well as my immediate family is what and who makes me..who I am.

I have talked in the past about Italy and how much I would love to get there someday...way out there in the distance.

You all know how much I loved my cousin Jeanne's visit a month or so ago, and how we loved going to Boston's North End to have some Veal Picata, canoli's and cappuccino.

I'll tell you a secret...........

The other night....I got a late, late night email from my cousin Phil who was in Italy and said he saw a woman/girl there that reminded him of me and would I send him a picture. I immediately replied with nine anxious obnoxious emails and my link to my blog so he could have quick viewing of his cousin while in Italy. I was so touched that he was on that soil...and thought of his cousin.

The next day his son, also named Phil joined that group I've been distracted by. We've been catching up and again I'm loving have not only my friends on this site....but FAMILIA too...my kitchen is now warm and full when they are online!! Like I could bake a million lasagnas and possibly some tirimisu and have them all over for coffee at the same time...squeezing into my home the way I felt that Italian love when I was growing up.

Anyway, you all know I think I have mentioned in the past how I had the most wonderful Aunt growing up. No this wasn't my fairy godmother, who is my cousin on my mother's side. This was my father's sister who shares my name...Aunt Swan:-)

She not only gave me Stairway To Heaven album by Zepplin for Christmas one year, she would have me sell her Avon...she would constantly provide the warmth. love and support that a wonderful Italian Aunt does and she was married to the most wonderful loving funny man. Unfortunately in 1982, she passed away...........but her love has always stayed in my heart.

My memories of her are tearing me up now...she was that warm of a person.

Her granddaughter (my second cousin) is now on that group. Guess where she is getting married???

I T A L Y

in June of 2009.

She has the most awesomely planned and creative website dedicated to how her and her fiance met, there wedding plans, the wedding party and the proposal and information that their honeymoon will be in France....and awesome music playing as you enter the site.

Andre' Buccilli and Michael Buble (Both who I love).....................

It was the warmest feeling opening that site and listening to Andre's voice, looking at her happiness and feeling the love that they both share for each other.

I really am hoping with God's help and my mother helping...and even Aunt Swan and Uncle Swan helping..........and all the other saints out there....

That maybe this year for father's day will be one that my father deserves.

Money is the only reason that I'm not saying it is definite..........but maybe with some planning it can happen.

Ciao!!

IN MY MOTHER'S WORDS - The Ten Commandments of School written late 1950's

2008-11-10T08:52:00.004-05:00

I know my creative writing talent and awesome sense of humor comes from both sides of my family, so I thought what an awesome way to share my mother's creativity from circa late 1950's.

The picture above shows my mother on an adventure with her children (that would be me, mama swan in the glasses) and my little rambunctious bro J who was probably trying to climb over that fence..into the Pennsylvania Grand Canyon.

Thankful Thursday - The internet - My Mom's Birthday November 8th

2008-11-06T08:33:00.004-05:00

Alright, this seems like a simple one, but really it is much deeper.

This week has been crazy as usual. I mentioned a few weeks ago that I had joined one of those myspace type places where I could be a part of a "friendly" network and share with them.

Through this medium, there are all types of "subgroups" for everything you can imagine, quizzes, trivia, horoscopes and group for anything and everything on your mind.

I've joined a few of them.

One of them happened to be a group, that wound up being another website entirely made up of people wanting to vent and share in regards to whatever ails them...which in my case happened to be my mother's illness.

This group allowed me to set up a page, where again there are places for journals, videos, pictures, communities, friends and profile comments.

The first night I was on Eric's laptop so I couldn't upload any pictures, and only briefly set up my account. Again this is an account where only people who you invite as friends, can view. In this case, the people on the site are all related to or have themselves, the neurological disease my mom suffered from.

I set up a brief profile with a brief explanation on how I have been affected by this illness in my family. I briefly mentioned about my mother suffering for many years and with her passing in 2006. I mentioned how my brothers and I are considered at-risk, and that therefore, my beautiful miracle is at risk. I mentioned how I pray every day for a cure.

Within seconds, I had three replies from Australia, California and Canada. The first woman from Australia is now a caretaker of her husband and they just celebrated 39 years of marriage, and how she prays he will be able to be there for more. She had never heard of this disease before her husband was diagnosed, she has two sons and two grandchildren. She says she prays also for patience and that she tries to not take it out on her husband, but sometimes it was hard.

The woman from California was just married and was diagnosed. The 25 year old woman from Canada has it and is married. Her mom passed, when this woman was 17, she was diagnosed at 19. She is in assisted living with nurses and has the most positive attitude and website, full of poems, and how to deal with life with a positive attitude. She mentions that when her husband and her have children, they will use the genetic testing on the embryo's to ensure that gene is not passed down.

The next morning I had received two more welcomes, from woman both from England who have it. One has two beautiful children under 7, the other does not have children yet.

By yesterday morning, I was shaking in my shoes. I immediately thought what did I do...I'm not just sharing with the world, my horror of this illness, but people who actually have it are emailing me. Part of me, wants to remain in a fetal position about this. Since having Matthew, and since my mom's passing other than on this blog, I have put the disease out of my mind, just trying to enjoy every moment with my son and not face possibly the black whole that might be ahead.

So when someone who has it was emailing me, I shared how wonderful it is that they CAN REACH OUT, they can type, they can email and look for resources, groups, support, friends, family, poems, websites however they need to. That - that in itself is HUGE.

I told them how my father and mother didn't have that luxury. Not only was it too late, by the time my father even got a computer, but the resources in the valley weren't what they are today. Support groups, the closest physical one was in Philadelphia two hours away. There wasn't even cell phones then, to call someone for a ride.

Someone who is being a full time caretaker, doesn't have the strength to drive two hours away, organize a bus to get there, or even organize a local support group. Especially because he was a man, he wasn't into organizing support groups. So instead, there was nothing.

To this day, my father doesn't like to be involved in forums, chatting and such because he is of the old school and doesn't 'LIKE to air his laundry" but that doesn't mean he didn't need the help or just need a hug.

My point is though, for the people of today who do have to suffer with this or any other horrendous disease, there are other options and the mindset of those are growing up with technology and support around them so it is getting easier.

And for my mother's birthday I've decided in her honor, to stay apart of this group to offer the only words and cyber hugs I can. One daughter mentioned how she was her mom's caretaker and how she would go to the nursing home and just rub her arm and sing her an Irish tune. Boy did that hit me. The last day of her life, she smiled at the end. The daughter felt relief as if her mom was then running through daisies. I shared with her how my mother hung on for 3 days due to she finally had her three children in the same room, and she wasn't going to let go, how we all sang to her.

And at the end, how I told my father "Dad, she's free!! She's healthy, she's flying over us, heading out that window going to watch the sunrise with her brother and her parents and have a beer!!! SHE'S HEALTHY!!"

Happy Birthday Mom....................I love you.

Manic Monday more of a Mellow Monday. Cheerios, Embarrassment and Election Day

2008-11-03T08:18:00.006-05:00

This morning went off without a hitch and we even had twenty minutes to spare.

The alarm went off and Matthew JUMPED out of bed and went to crawl in with Eric, locking me out of my own bedroom.

But once I was ready, he got up and got ready.

We headed downstairs, him proclaiming that he wanted dry cheerios with No MILK....Telling me in a sweet little voice "They taste sweeter that way Mommy."

And then he proclaimed he wanted Hot Chocolate. I gave in. I never give him Chocolate before school, but I figured we are up early and it looks like this morning is going good, he will be okay.

Curious George this morning was about a bee sting. Matthew went to explain for the zillionth time about the time, when I was in PA that he got stung by a bee in the basement over the summer. He had thought it was an ant, and if I remember from Eric it was dead.

But somehow the stinger got him and he was okay. This morning he was re-iterating how it "DIDN'T EVEN HURT HIM."

I told him how proud I was of him, and him being so strong and brave.

WRONG.

He said, "Mommy!!" as he got off the chair and slid down onto the filthy floor with his clean clothes. I said, "What?" as I lifted him back up onto the chair.

He said, "DON'T SAY THAT, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I said, "What??? How honey? There is no one here but us. Who am I embarrassing you in front of?"

He said, "I just don't want you to talk like that!!"

I said, "Okay, I'm sorry for saying your strong and brave" (mumbling under my breath I won't let it happen again)

He is so funny.

The other night for Halloween, we had a unexpected surprise visit by N who we hadn't seen in three months. We took her with us.

In the backseat of the car, from his seat to hers....on the way home................he says, "N, the little girls in school don't believe I have a girlfriend!!"

Eric and I perked right up and were trying to hear.

She told him, "And you do, it's me. You need to tell them!"

He said, "I do, but they don't believe me!!"

Luckily this was at the point when we pulled into the driveway so all talk of romance, ceased.

I told him this morning, that he doesn't have school tomorrow for Election Day!!

He yelled, "Yeah!! What are we going to do??"

I said, "Well, Mommy hasn't given it much thought about you yet, but Mommy and Daddy get to go pull a lever at your school and vote for the next President Of The United States!!!"

He said, "Yeah!! Can I come?"

I said, "Sure!!"

Then I'm reading about the long lines and praying we don't get that problem, or he won't be happy.

I don't like to blog about my political views, I don't like to talk about them with friends. I live in one of the most political states, and yet I'd rather keep it to myself.

I'm just not confrontational and I don't like to have heated political discussions about politics, or even religion.

So, with that said......go out and vote!!!

I'll keep my choice to myself and hopefully our country will still be standing in January and for the next four years.

I am praying for all of us and am really looking forward to turning on the TV or the computer and not seeing anything related to campaigning.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN & Fantasy Friday KISS DID do Halloween Special that I remembered as a child.

2008-10-31T07:23:00.006-05:00

Mama Swan is so proud of herself.

This morning I was thinking okay....blog about Halloween, about something related to Fantasy Friday......the wheels are turning.

Last year or the year before, I blogged about my favorite show when I was a child, growing up in the 70's, was H.R. Puffinstuff I loved Witchypoo and all of the other characters.

At Halloween one year, it stained my memory for years of the band KISS at the time that played on what I thought was that show.

Thanks to the internet, my brain is now cleared....it was a Halloween Special with Paul Lynde. Witchypoo was on it....but SO WAS KISS.

At the time, they sang the song "Beth" which was appropriate for viewing audiences at the time, not to mention their makeup went with the Halloween ambiance.

I wish they would put this stuff on tv now......The Kroft Shows were classic....along with Saturday Morning Sigmund and The Seamonsters.

So much better viewing than The Power Rangers, or Pokemon. (Shhhh...Don't tell Matthew I said that.)

It was wholesome.

Why can't they be more creative these days? Although it is funny now, to watch even the old Godzilla movies or Sinbad and the Sailor (which I loved), okay...not so scary anymore...

BUT ONCE UPON A TIME......THEY WERE.

That is because now....it takes alot to scare due to what kids are used to.

I myself am victim of letting Matthew watch Spiderman movies, Batman movies and even Jurrasic Park....but with Mommy there...even though he doesn't even blink an eye at what would make me blink.

He is all boy and relishes anything with a villian that the good guy could get.

I just miss the more mushy, bad guys like the sleestacks in Land Of The Lost.

Oh well...at least now thanks to YouTube and other internet wonders, I can watch Puff In Stuff and smile:-)

Have a Wonderful Halloween!!

Thankful Thursday - Mama Swan works the machine in Honey I Shrunk The Kids (In Matthew's Dream)

2008-10-30T07:18:00.004-05:00

This morning someone woke up and the first words out of his mouth, were:

"Mommy I had a dream that you were running that machine in Honey, I Shrunk The Kids, but it worked the opposite way and you pointed it to Grammy R's house, and it blew up Grammy and Pa Man."

Me still sleeping, was so excited that he got to have a dream of me running that machine. (One of my favorite movies, taking my little brother P to see way back in the day, when it came out.)

But when he saw me smiling, with my mind thinking about that, he yelled "BUT MOMMY, YOU BLEW UP GRAMMY AND PA MAN!!"

Back to reality, I said "That's terrible honey! But did I get to shrink Daddy? Was he out running around in the yard in the wild?"

He said "No" looking at me in a confused state that I wasn't still dwelling on my blowing up the neighbors.

I told him, that it was too bad that machine didn't work right and did that to the poor neighbors.

That I'm sure I didn't mean it.

I asked him if I shrunk anything and he said "ONLY A FEW ANIMALS."

I said, That's okay.

How cool am I???? To work that machine in his dream? Just wish I had actually shrunk people, like even us and we went on an adventure.....and that I could have the same dream as him and we could experience it together..

I know...now I know where he gets his imagination from.

The funny thing is, that he only saw that movie once about a year ago!

But the other day, on an awesome site I was told about where you can watch movies for free called Surfthechannel.com we actually looked for that one to watch. Didn't find it, so we watched Barnyard 2 instead.

But that was it.

He is like me and I love hearing his stories about his dreams, it reminds me of when I used to at least remember my dreams and I would tell them to Eric and we would laugh because they were so wild. Haven't had any like that though in at least 6 years or more.

Now he can be my dreamer.

Here's to Honey I Shrunk The Kids!!

Remember When Wednesday - No Snow Before Halloween

2008-10-29T08:26:00.007-05:00

Alright, my memory is okay.

It could be better.

It definitely gets better when I force myself to go back and clear out the fog in my head.

But Snow Before HALLOWEEN in NEPA??

I don't think I can remember in my 20 years, before moving to MA, snow before Halloween?????

I was reading the newspaper online and I almost died in shock at the snow on the ground, and in the trees.

My beautiful friend Carebear, emailed me a picture of her backyard with 6 inches of snow, and deer trying to eat through it.

It was so pretty. She lives in the mountains and so she got more than in the lower valley.

I told her I wanted to sit at her table and have Hot Cocoa..with her and look at that deer in beautiful snowy forest backyard.

But then it hit me....this same friend and I used to go trick or treating and it never, ever snowed for us.

I guess by Friday, they are calling for the snow to melt, so officially the kids won't go trick or treating with snowsuits on under their costumes.

Good thing too, or my nieces would have a hard time squeezing into their pirate costumes, my brother J mentioned they would be.

One of these days my scanner will work, so I could put more older pictures from my memories, like me dressed as a punk rocker/Casper the friendly ghost and I think I remember a Cinderella in there....

Wish I had old pictures of our Halloween memories....along with other memories of my old neighborhood and friends:-)

But in the meantime, you can enjoy these pictures of my Dad in 1948 dressed as a Hobo!! I love him!!

Keep Warm for Halloween!!

Wishing I Could Peek through his window

2008-10-28T07:11:00.005-05:00

Last night, I found on Matthew's school website some pictures of his class going to a recent field trip.

There was also some pictures of them blowing bubbles. My little guy looked so sad. It broke my heart.

This morning, I told him that I saw some pictures of him blowing bubbles. Before I could say a word, he spoke up and said "I spilled them on my coat." I told him that was okay, and that coat's are washable.

I asked him then if he was given any more bubbles while the rest of the kids were having fun, and he told me he was allowed to make one with soap and a contraption...but explaining it with the hugest smile on his face.

My heart is now better.

It was nice to see that when I wasn't there, someone else took care of my son's wishes to make him happy. I only get bits and pieces and then pictures where I didn't see the "whole picture".

Before putting him on the bus for the past week, I've been placing tissues in his pants pockets for him to use for his cold. Today he told me that the teacher doesn't like it when there are tissues in the pockets!! I said "What?" (thinking she would rather the alternative of no tissues) I know that I have to take some of what he says with a grain of salt, considering his love for stories and his awesome creative imagination...but when he tells me things in a serious tone....it's hard.

When I put him on the bus in the morning, my heart does two things....beats faster that I already miss him and ache for him not being with me, and then my mind steps in and says "You got two and half hours to blog."

This is my window to him. This is so you could peek in at him.

But you break his heart and you'll have to mess with me.

I just want to know that every day his wishes and prayers are answered and that he will have a long, happy and healthy life with normal self esteem. I don't know if I can give him all of that, but I know with prayers and patience and hopefully some guidance and family support along the way, we'll get there.

Can You Say DISTRACTED????

2008-10-27T07:36:00.004-05:00

To say I've been distracted, is an understatement.

Someone turned me onto one of those myspace type places, where I decided to give in and join.

Two weeks later, I'm finally picking my head up from my induced glassy haze and remembering...oh yeah....my blog...hehe

Matthew has had a lingering cold for over a week now, that started out with two days of on and off fevers, but really has just kept this horrific cough and sometimes congestion. We only missed one day of school, so far.

The other night they had a Halloween Party at his school and Matthew finally agreed to be the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume that his Aunt K. thankfully passed down to us, from his cousin C.

Matthew loves it, but when realizing that it was going to be his Halloween costume, he tried to get me to allow Spiderman again. I said "No!" Mommy has had enough of him, three years worth.

But at least, due the amount of activities they have these days (compared to when I was a kid - don't you love that Mommy line), is a way to make us both happy. Friday night, he was Michelangelo (TMNT) and Saturday at the Halloween Prowl in the center of town, he was Venom (Evil Spiderman).

I told him he has no idea how lucky he is. When his Dad and I were little, we had ONE NIGHT only and it wasn't to visit a fire station or jump on bouncy things, or have faces painted, it was to GET CANDY.

He said "See Now Mommy that you are all grown up, you can go on top of the firetruck with me in a parade!"

I said, "That's right."

Girl inside of me dying and wishing it was a horse and carriage with Cinderella's foots man, escorting me to the ball.....but OK....Firetruck will do.

Here is to an awesome week of turtles, spiderman's, and other ghosts and goblins!!

Fantasy Friday - From April 2007 became a reality over the summer

2008-10-10T07:56:00.005-05:00

I want to get back to my weekly postings where I have a theme for some days of the week.

I was reading my post from April 27, 2007, where I was daydreaming about a waterfall area in PA, that I would love to get back to some day.

Well, over the summer Matthew and I went there.

Not only have they built a wonderful tree top bridge to view the falls, but also you can walk down into them again. This time safely with fencing around them, so no accidents happen.

visited waterfall in PA with Matthew - check!!

Two Posts For Thankful Thursday - I had to.

2008-10-09T09:03:00.004-05:00

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING

A message every adult should read because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.