Monday, September 29, 2008

Manic Monday - Crazy he calls me .........

"Crazy he calls me, sure I'm crazy....crazy in love am I." Linda Ronstadt version with the Nelson Riddle Orchestra from her 1983 album "What's New?"

Well, this morning was a typical "Monday morning". Crazy ...la la la

Matthew has this temper these days when he isn't getting his way, and we are trying to let him know that we are his parents and that he has to listen to us.

Typical five year old boy independence, and MEGA macho testosterone (yet still wants mommy to cuddle) . I know how to do it!!! Yet I need your help, but I don't want your help!! He gets so frustrated when he can't do something on the first try. I try and tell him - take a deep breath.

Yesterday we read, appropriately so, The Grumpy Morning and The Way I Feel, and I reiterated to him, that even Mommy sometimes gets frustrated and needs to move from the situation, go for a walk (or long drive in my case), and usually once I've had a moment to calm down, I can then conquer the world.

It doesn't help that all of our frustration levels right now are at an all time high, that we had just spent three rainy days pretty much cooped up in the house with no sunshine. Today when he gets home it will get better. He is still adjusting to this new long week for him in Kindergarten.

His teacher wants us to work on taking off and putting on his coat with the sleeves the right way (so when they put them on - it's easier and more efficient to have them just slip them on), but again he will not have any part of doing it. He wants to but once his arm gets stuck reaching for the sleeve, he gets fed up. He has no problem putting the coat on and even zipped it up (which I have problems with), but by the time we get to try taking off the sleeves the right way - he's had it.

I tell him don't get upset over little things. That to him right now, they seem like they are big things, but they are not.

That he can do anything if he puts his mind to it, and just tries to take a deep breath and stay calm.

Last night, again he had me on my knees in tears, over him not wanting to let me go to sleep in his own bed, on his own.

I was so strong this time, it was going to happen. But it just breaks my heart and after a half hour of arguing/crying, I give in.

Tonight though he says it will be different.

We are working on a chart for everything right now. He is doing awesome at everything that we are working on, and every day I add something new to the chart like "clearing the table, or getting off the computer games without talking back and with a good team player attitude."

So, God willing tonight will be the night.

I'm trying to raise him with love, respect and to know what is real in life. I want him to be the most well balanced child with self esteem, yet not too much testosterone to overlook feelings of those around him. I don't think that will happen. He is the most loving, sweet, wonderful, kind, thoughtful and considerate son to me. If that is any indication of how he will be someday with his friends, family and the people who will be important to him in his life....then maybe I'm on the right path?

I have to start taking him and getting us back to church. For one reason or another, I've failed in this area too.

We say our prayers, Thank God every night for our blessings, but I know his Grandma in Heaven is probably ready to kick me in the you know where, because I haven't enforced us going to church.

The few times we tried, he didn't want any part of behaving.

Now though, he has no choice. It will be good for him, he needs to see and feel faith, love and people show their respect and love for God and each other with prayers and song. He needs to learn the beautiful stories that I loved as a child of the Old and New testament. He needs community of other children learning in Sunday school.

I think that bringing church back into our life, will actually provide us with more for me (I miss being surrounded by that warm feeling), but also a new routine for him that will also give him substance and reason, a chance to see people's humility, humbleness and kindness.

So mommy's goal this week: Sleep in own room by himself, work on taking deep breaths, and bringing church back into our life.

God is in his life. That is one thing, that regardless of going to church that we have made sure he knows he is wonderful, of all this world is because of God, all of the beauty that God created including him. He knows and loves God, just doesn't know church and the hour of taking deep breaths that he will need to take if he gets frustrated.

Prayers greatly appreciated.

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