Friday, July 27, 2007

LAST FRIDAY IN JULY........................SIGH..........

I can not believe that today is the last Friday in July. That July will be over on Monday. I wait so long for this month every year and this has to be the fastest it has ever gone by. I know my being busy with Matthew this month has a lot to do with it, but still. He is going to be starting preschool in 5 weeks....sigh.....
I feel like I have to rush in everything I've ever wanted to do with him while he is still little enough and the nice weather is here...and we only have 5 weeks left!
I'm hyperventilating again.
I know that he is just growing up way too fast right before my eyes. He was swimming today on our beach with his twin friends and he had a blast. It seems like yesterday we were in diapers in there playroom and he was climbing on the changing table and I was always afraid he would tip it over on them all. Now he is in climbing on furniture and couches and I'm still afraid he is going to hurt them. It is amazing how well those little girls swim too. They are little mermaids and just after a few months worth of lessons at the YMCA.

That's why I can't get discouraged by his lack of wanting to learn or be taught anything by an instructor. He has his third lesson tomorrow with Daddy taking him and then I will start twice a week and I am hoping by the end of August my little merman will be keeping up with his mermaids.
Princess N is coming tonight for the weekend as well and she is another little fish. It's amazing how once they learn to hold their breath and go under they really love it. I don't know why Matthew is so against me or his father or anyone else teaching him. He has a stubborn Irish streak in him that he doesn't want to do something until he is ready.


Today he saw one of the twins swimming underwater right near him in the water and from a few feet away I saw him hold his breath and almost put his face in but his fear stopped him. I then said "Can Mommy help you?" NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He wants to try and learn but wants to show he is a big boy who can do it, so I know when he is ready, he'll just do it and Mommy or Daddy will be right by his side when that happens.


Thursday, July 26, 2007

Enjoy one of my favorite songs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hciPfBAdZU

Funnies from Matthew

I have been slacking on putting up some really hysterical stuff coming out of Matthew's mouth these days. I really have to get back to writing it all down like back in February when I was blogging every day.
  • This morning he told Eric and myself that he wanted to go to an Indoor Carnival that was Outside. I mentioned that Mommy can't drive far this week because Daddy's truck is broken and he is using my car for work. He said' It's not far Mommy". I said "What town is it near?" He mentioned a town in MA and then preceded to give us driving directions on how to get there. You take that road, go up that way, then go over there and take it the other way. I said"Oh". He said go on and find their site mom, GOOGLE IT!!!!!! (some lingo his tech support Daddy taught him)
I am dying inside everyday from the stuff he says. I could just laugh all day if I want to.
  • Earlier I had to drop him with my neighbor, really unexpected because his car seat isn't hooked up in my husband's truck. We had to take it out earlier in the week to go with Grandpa to Boston and out of site out of mind since then. I told my neighbor, I'll be back in 10 minutes. When I returned, Matthew and I were eating pizza when I asked him what did him and Grammy R (nickname for very close loving neighbor) talk about. He mentioned "The Patriots and Tom Brady". I said "OH? What did you guys talk about with Tom Brady?" He said he told her that his Mom loves him. (and I do, smart kid)

  • This morning we were getting dressed while playing with his life size Elmo that Uncle M. gave him for his first Christmas. He likes when we pretend to be and talk like Elmo or Cookie Monster in Daddy's case. This morning I was Elmo and I said Elmo wants to see you put your shirt on all by yourself!! Yeah! Hi -5!! After he was dressed, Matthew told Elmo "Remember that time when we came to see you at Sesame Street(aka Sesame Place)! How come you wouldn't talk to me then?" Elmo said because there were so many kids around that he was overwhelmed and shy but that he did hug him and Mommy also made sure during the parade that we were not leaving without a hug from Cookie Monster. He said he remembers. Then he goes to tell Elmo that when he is shy- he needs to hold his nose and then hold his breath? (We are having problems with him learning and listening at the YMCA for swimming lessons). Elmo then told him that he will remember to do that if when he goes to swimming lessons, he listens and then learns from the teacher. He huffed and puffed and walked away.

  • I have learned many a mom lesson from PBS. Caliou's(animated 4 year old little boy cartoon) mom in particular. She has it so pulled together with a husband that is also very impressive as a father to two little ones. Today she did something so simple. Acted like a robot with the remote control being the remote for the robot. We have been doing it now all day and he is having so much fun. Every time he says the word "Emperor moochjlere!!", I pretend it is the sleep mode and close my eyes and go limp like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. He has done his robot ABC's, counted to 10 and did a few gymnastic moves in between. We have done some robotic dances and songs. He is now in Emperor moochijere mode and I have to wake him up for more fun in the afternoon. It is a good way to spend the afternoon in an air conditioned house on a 95 degree day when you are housebound due to a broken truck, no car seat hooked up etc.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Remember When Wednesday - Imagination into Creation

Today we thought we would take advantage of some time at home since we have been so busy lately.


I told Matthew that maybe after lunch we could bake something for dessert. I dug out all my cookbooks and unfortunately, I should have kept my mouth shut because I need some staple ingredients from the store first.

Matthew said "We don't have to go to the store Mommy".

He got his Spiderman chair, climbed up onto my kitchen counter area where all my baking stuff is and he found an Oreo cookie crust. I mentioned that Mommy didn't have the right ingredients to fill it.

He climbed down and pronounced I know!!!

We use Oreo cookies and peanut butter with lemon drops!!! I mentioned we didn't have lemon drops but got out a paper plate for him to take his imagination to the next level. To let him develop his dream, I got him sprinkles.


He said they are so delicious and maybe we can maybe make another one when Daddy comes home from work so he could have one too.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Sorting emotions- Summer Fun & Life - Life Past and Present

We have been busy, busy and even busier than I ever thought possible. It's a good busy.

Wish the days of summer would last until mid winter so that most of our year could be filled with such good times.

In the past two weeks, Matthew has been to the Children's Museum in Boston, zoo, a drive-in, a couple beaches with friends, swimming in friends' pools, swimming (but not listening to the instructor) at the YMCA, play dates at our house and friends homes and over the weekend Grandpa came from PA via NJ through NY, CT, RI and then MA with a wonderful loving friend of his (and ours) who has a son who is a chef at a high end restaurant in Boston.

We had the wonderful opportunity to meet him on Sunday and his new nickname with us is Ratatouille. He loved being with his mom and just hanging out with us having steak on the new patio set and playing with Matthew a little. Eric liked having him around because he gave him some cooking tips. Not that he needs them. I need them. I told him he is welcome to come down anytime and we could barter his services of teaching me how to cook and then he could relax and have fun with us on our many adventures! Sounds like a good deal to me.

Matthew was funny when they were here. He was giving everyone a tour of his house, when he stopped in Mommy's room and pointed out my wedding pics. He mentioned that was when my Dad married my Mom and before I was borned. This was the first time he made this announcement. In the past when I tried to tell him why he wasn't in my wedding movie or in those pics, he didn't want any part of it because he felt left out. So I was happy that he was sharing this happy moment and even stating he realized it was before he was born.

The last few weeks I have really been having withdrawal from being with my Dad. For the past 39 years, it has been mainly me (other than my mom before she passed) as the woman in his life. I know that being his daughter is a totally separate entity of being my son's mom, so having that need to be with him is something I don't think I'll ever get over. We have just been there for each other for too long. My father grew up on a farm and to this day can plant anything anywhere and is very good at it. The newspaper in our town in PA a few years ago did a story on his 4-5 foot marigold's and 9 foot tomato plants that he claimed he just emptied out the water that he was boiling the spaghetti with. I have been craving his tomato's. And not just the tomatoes. What good are they if they aren't with him picking them and going in the house and putting some mayo and salt on some bread and making us both a sandwich so we can sit out on his porch and eat them? It's his company more than the tomatoes. He is an Italian father and his Italian/Irish daughter wants to have a sandwich with him and be in his company. I know more than anything how those years might not last forever and so making the most out of a tomato sandwich is one of the most beautiful things in life with him.

I have also been under mixed emotions the past week because today would have been my parents 42nd wedding anniversary. There were just too many years for me to ignore this date and not feel it in my heart. I let my father know that I was thinking of him in this regard today and he let me know he thanks me from Mom and him. I don't know of this date, the dates of her birthday and anniversary of her passing will get any easier as the years go on.

I just wanted to sort out though that separate from my parents anniversary, I am also blessed that he has found someone that is enjoying tripe with him, enjoying tomato sandwiches and enjoying life with him. I wish for all those that I love to know that take a bite of everything you eat and really taste it, look out your window and really see, open up your curtains and let the light and love shine in, and experience every adventure and absolute beauty that the world throws at you with open arms and open eyes and open mind. Don't close them because you might be really missing out on life.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Fantasy Friday - REALITY WITH BEST FRIENDS



LONG TIME COMING...




WE HAD THE BEST DAY TODAY WITH OLD FRIENDS AND THIS IS JUST THE FIRST PIC...MORE COMING LATER...STAY TUNED...

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Remember When Wednesday - Ok I'm Back! - What Every 4 & 1/2 year old should know?

I just wanted to post a very interesting and uplifting article I just read this morning, that made me feel better as a parent.
It was written by Alicia Bayer and I found it on her site www.magicalchildhood.com
An unbelievable wealth of wonderful information and ideas to help any mom get through the day.

What should a 4 year old know?
written by Alicia Bayer

I was on a parenting bulletin board recently and read a post by a mother who was worried that her 4 1/2 year old did not know enough. "What should a 4 year old know?" she asked.

Most of the answers left me not only saddened but pretty soundly annoyed. One mom posted a laundry list of all of the things her son knew. Counting to 100, planets, how to write his first and last name, and on and on. Others chimed in with how much more their children already knew, some who were only 3. A few posted URL's to lists of what each age should know. The fewest yet said that each child develops at his own pace and not to worry.

It bothered me greatly to see these mothers responding to a worried mom by adding to her concern, with lists of all the things their children could do that hers couldn't. We are such a competitive culture that even our preschoolers have become trophies and bragging rights.

Childhood shouldn't be a race.

So here, I offer my list of what a 4 year old should know.
1. She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.
2. He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn't feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back them up.
3. She should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs.
4. He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he'll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.
5. She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she's wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvelous. She should know that it's just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that-- way more worthy.
But more important, here's what parents need to know.
1. That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra.
2. That the single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read them wonderful books.
3. That being the smartest or most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on being the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children "advantages" that we're giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a simple, carefree childhood.
4. That our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them. Most of us could get rid of 90% of our children's toys and they wouldn't be missed, but some things are important-- building toys like legos and blocks, creative toys like all types of art materials (good stuff), musical instruments (real ones and multicultural ones), dress up clothes and books, books, books. (Incidentally, much of this can be picked up quite cheaply at thrift shops.) They need to have the freedom to explore with these things too-- to play with scoops of dried beans in the high chair (supervised, of course), to knead bread and make messes, to use paint and play dough and glitter at the kitchen table while we make supper even though it gets everywhere, to have a spot in the yard where it's absolutely fine to dig up all the grass and make a mud pit.
5. That our children need more of us. We have become so good at saying that we need to take care of ourselves that some of us have used it as an excuse to have the rest of the world take care of our kids. Yes, we all need undisturbed baths, time with friends, sanity breaks and an occasional life outside of parenthood. But we live in a time when parenting magazines recommend trying to commit to 10 minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That's not okay! Our children don't need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US.

They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need us to take walks with them and not mind the .1 MPH pace of a toddler on a spring night. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work. They deserve to know that they're a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them.

ps...Donna and all you other mom's out there...sorry for the scare. I love you all and am not giving up on my memories with Matthew and sharing them with the world.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Final Blog for a while

Eric and I are in desperate need of keeping Matthew's home a happy one. I want the swan's to stay together for eternity with their little swan.
Until we work these things out, I won't be posting for awhile. It is just too tempting to me to air out all of our laundry, our behind the scenes, our what's between the lines in my blog.
I am praying that we get things together and that we both get the help that we deserve for Matthew's sake.
He is my miracle and he is my only concern and happiness right now.
For those of you that love me, you'll have to write, email or call me for now.
Love you, Matthew's Mom In MA

Thursday, July 12, 2007

5 years anniversary of those last "shots in the butt"

I have alot on my mind today and it is racing with emotion.
I probably won't be blogging the next few days so I wanted to take some time out to remember a very important date to Eric and myself.
On July 15Th, 2002 I was inseminated with my frozen embryo that wound up becoming Matthew.

That time of my life was filled with so many ups and downs that I really should blog more about it. It would have been wonderful therapy for me at the time to have had my blog then. The roller coaster of emotions of infertility is something that I think will stay with you forever, regardless of whether you had success or not, regardless of years or months of infertility.

It does such a number on a woman's soul and heart and mind, that I don't think I will ever recover from those years lost. I thank God everyday that my gain came in the end, but for those years lost in between it was like losing yourself year after year, month after month.
Only when you find another woman friend who has possibly faced the same challenges that you can relate, do you find any hope of having comfort and providing comfort in return. That is how us women get through all of life's obstacles....finding other women to relate to and therefore finding friends and support.
Matthew was well worth the shots in the butt and all of those years of emotional pain. Just one more chance for me to let everyone know I am still that girl who wanted that baby so bad...and NOW WE HAVE HIM that is something to smile about.

Asking for Prayers

I meant to also mention that both of my aunts that are the eldest on my mom and dad's side have recently been in the hospital and are ill. I am asking for prayers for there speedy recovery.

Thoughts for Thursday- Moms & Wives in the media

With all of the horrible news in the media about pregnant women missing and found dead, wives who have been abused by there husbands and suddenly disappear, I have been reading a very informative site on abuse.

All of us suffer from abuse whether partially the abuser or the victim. I know I have been guilty myself in many relationships including my marriage of behaviors that have caused harm to myself or those I loved. I know this is due to the fact that my heart or my soul might have felt victimized at the time. To those I hurt, I am deeply sorry and to this day am trying to walk forward with God in my life and my son by creating a family environment and creating positivity instead of negativity. I know relationships are hard and that for a team to work...all partners must be equal or it will never work.

For all of those mother's out there who suffer and all of those father's who suffer, the information on the page by Dr.Irene might be of some help. Click on Dr. Irene and it will bring you to the page.

In the meantime my prayers are to the families who have been victimized or who have lost someone by such a tragic and un-necessary loss and heat of emotions that just get entangled and can't get undone.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Remember When Wednesday- A memory created today


Mommy and Matthew on the Elephant at the Zoo..................That's all that need's to be said.


The picture speaks for itself.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU!

84°FRealFeel®100°F

Just thought I would share my weather today. I got a kick out of the feel's like version being 16 degrees higher than the actual temp! It's hard to breathe weather.

Take A Rat...Mix it with some sand and sun & YOU HAVE A RECIPE FOR FUN FILLED DAYS

I haven't had a chance to post again because I haven't had the time. We've been having so much fun.

It all started on Thursday when we decided to hang out around our house for most of the day. Matthew hadn't had a nap and around 4:30 pm he was running around like a chicken missing his head...he needed to sleep. I mouthed the words to Eric without saying them out loud that if he napped this late in the day, maybe we could try the drive-in again because Ratatouille was there.
He said "Let's play it by ear".
Matthew woke up an hour later and had dinner with us on our patio. Afterwards Matthew said "How about now we go somewhere?" (He was getting used to having Daddy home all week and our week of adventures)
Eric asked him where he wanted to go? (expecting to hear playground) Next thing you know Matthew said "Hey I know!! Remember that time when we drove really far to see that movie? " Eric and I looked at each other like did you tell him? (we both said we didn't)
We said "Do you mean the drive-in?" That time we took you to see Shrek 3 and Spiderman 3 but couldn't get in due to high traffic being Memorial Weekend. We were only a few cars away, when they were sold out.
Matthew said "Yes".
We said well there is a movie playing there tonight about a rat?
Would you like to go?
He said "Yeah!!!" Him and Mommy moved around like lightening to get us there in time this time. I wasn't going to have him be heartbroken again and thought for sure the day after the fourth of July with people on vacations that we would hit traffic again. We didn't!! We were one of the first few cars there and had 1/2 hour to wait before the movie started.
Matthew thought it was awesome and had such a great time. I wish that this country still had more of drive-ins. What a wonderful way to spend time as a family out in the night air (filled with mosquito's and later severe thunderstorm).
I was hoping to have a moment with Johnny Depp afterwards, in Pirates of the Caribbean but it wasn't appropriate for my little 4 year old. Especially at 11 pm. So we left early and headed home in time for a thunderstorm. I hate driving at night in storms. At least we got his movie in and he got to have that moment.
On Friday we decided to head to my sister in law's again on the Cape. Eric went deep sea fishing on my brother in law's boat and got caught in a storm but they made it back safely. While he was catching 20 stripers (this time not an exaggeration), Matthew and I headed for our first adventure to the beach just us. We had never done it before, and I can't understand why. Just me and my Baby Galileo (Baby Einstein video-that he always loved). We were on our adventure of collecting shells and rocks and we had a wonderful time. I wish I hadn't forgot my camera again that day.
On Saturday, we decided to visit with family now on this side of the ocean, before you cross the bridge heading to Cape Cod. It was a beautiful, but choppy and windy day on the beach and Daddy got to make sand castles with his little boy.
After a few hours in the sun we headed to a restaurant nearby and I had mussels cooked Portuguese style with Chorice, oil, basil, tomatoes...it was unbelievable. My only complaint was when Eric took Matthew in the men's room, they had pin-up pictures from the 50's of Playboy girls and Matthew said "Look Daddy at the Bum" (giggling and turning red)
Eric said he doesn't know how he only saw the Bum in those pics and nothing else, but Thank You God for Small favors......
Yesterday we caught up with my old wonderful friend from RI. We had a wonderful 5 hours at her house playing and swimming. Her son and Matthew are really starting to click now. He is 5 and his sister is 8 and Matthew adores both of them. We are hoping tomorrow to see them at the zoo.
It's going to be another busy week.
Tomorrow we are going with my mom's meetup group to the zoo and on Friday with another mom I've met to a water park about 2 hours away. Next Week we are going to Six Flags with my long lost little niece who we miss with her mom and her sisters. Starting on July 31st Matthew will start his swimming lessons at the YMCA twice a week. I am hoping he will hold his breath and start learning how to swim soon, because Mommy is nervous in the meantime.
Well.........catch up with you all later.





Thursday, July 5, 2007

Fourth Of July Madness on Cape Cod







Alright, we've had a nice couple of days. It started with Princess N for the weekend and Daddy taking the week off. He got alot of things accomplished around the yard earlier in the week and so we were hoping to have nice weather and to enjoy a few days down the cape.

But the weather changed our plans. Once we found out that it wasn't going to be nice, we decided to take Matthew to his first "real" fireworks where he really knew what was going on.

On Tuesday night we went with my neighbor and her grandson to a neighboring town and Matthew had a blast. And that was all before the fireworks started. A nice family brought free sparklers and "kid friendly" fireworks for any little kids running around the place where they parked there blanket. Matthew got to do his first sparkler. After it went out, his expression was "that's it". Now what?

I forgot my camera and it really is a shame. My neighbor bought him one of those light up swords they sell at fourth of July events and Matthew turned into Darth Vader. I tried to tell him he was Luke Skywalker that saved Princess Lea, but he wanted to be Darth. He was adorable regardless.

When the actual fireworks started, I got to hold him for a few minutes of snuggling and then he wanted to keep being Darth Vader with his sword. He was running around and enjoying being out so late. When the finale happened, it got his attention again for a few minutes but not like we had hoped.

Yesterday, we decided to head down to my sister-in-law's down the cape. It would be a family gathering and a cookout. We brought our swimsuits but never got to use them. By the time we got there, there was a unbelievable event going on for kids that we are happy that we went to.


The fireman were spraying fire foam into a large field and down a grassy hill for the kids to play in. There were a few problems with the location and craziness of the event. They should have had a few areas sectioned off for kids of different ages because they all were sliding down this one hill. Regardless of size, age. A few parents went down. The bottom of the hill was a grassy area that went to a concrete area. Once that hill got out of control the foam would be on top of that concrete which was dangerous in my eyes.

At first I thought because Matthew had just passed out in the car, that he would be afraid of all the chaos. Once he got his "piggies" wet and with Daddy's eyes and his little cousins going up the hill and playing, there was no stopping him.

At the top of the hill there was another more leveled area that he played in that I was able to breathe looking at him in. But then it was like a slow moving current. Just the different sizes of kids and the fireman blowing the foam, Matthew at one point got caught up right before my eyes in the mass of kids going down the hill. I almost jumped in after him, but was afraid because of my ankle and the slipperiness of the foam I would break my other one. I just panicked and froze. Eric was oblivious to Matthew going down because it all happened so fast.

Matthew gets up in between a million kids at the bottom of the hill and he still at that point only had foam up to his waist. He walked away and decided that from now on he was doing it again and again! He even went up the middle from the bottom of the hill a few times, like a fish swimming against the current and Thank You God that he didn't get hurt. He had a blast and the worst boo boo at that point was a bump on his chin.

Later on he would get a few more playing with Daddy on a big ball at his Aunt's house, but considering that he gets a few a day now mostly on his legs, it was like a normal day.
We all had a good time, but then the weather got cooler and rainier so we never got to the ocean.
We'll have to go back again soon.