I wasn't going to blog tonight since I am visiting with my father, but again Matthew's antics leaving me wanting to share them with the world.
This morning at 7 am while I was getting ready to leave for my long drive, he was so helpful and sweet. He made sure he found me by baseball hat so no one would have to see Mommy's real hair (which was so overdue for a cut and hideous). He held the door open for me on my many trips to the car and then gave me one final tight hug around the legs that could have just made me drop everything and just stay there in that moment all day. I had only talked to him twice today and each time he was so loving and wonderful, making my already hard trip so much easier on me.
Tonight while talking to my husband, he mentioned that Matthew was so tired tonight that he said "Daddy, I got good news, and bad news"...Eric almost dying from this announcement said "Well lets start with the bad news?" He said, I can't go to sleep without Mommy tonight (but he wasn't crying about it-just stating a fact). Eric assured him that Daddy would help him sleep...they got distracted and never got what the good news was.
When Eric took him up to bed, Matthew had his hands in prayer (which is something we might -regretablly shown him twice in his life). We usually just pray while lying in bed together. Matthew said, we have to say a prayer for Ringo. (our german shorthair dog that passed away when Matthew was 18 months old). Daddy, said...ok...how about a prayer too for Grandma (my mom)....Matthew said, ok....he put his hands together and said...Grandma playing with Ringo..some kind of prayer for both of them.
I am just so proud of my little man, adjusting to being without me and being so understanding right now and being so thoughtful and insightful at the same time. He really always has me in awe...
Tomorrow is our mass for my Mom and we will be going to her grave in the afternoon to put flowers on it and also spread our soil from Ireland. We had brought back soil in 1998 when my husband and I took a trip there. The soil was from my great-greatgrandmother's land in County Mayo. We will then go to mass before I head back to MA on Monday. I probably won't be on again for a few more days...
Good night.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
IN MEMORY OF MOM
Loving mother, grandmother and wife passed away one year ago, Saturday, Feb. 25, 2006. Surviving is her loving and devoted husband of 40 years; her three children, two granddaughters, two grandsons, her sister and many nieces, nephews and family.
COME WITH ME
COME WITH ME
The Lord saw you getting tired
And a cure was not to be,
So He put his arms aroud you
And whispered, "Come with me."
With tearful eyes, we watched you suffer
And saw you fade away,
Although we loved you dearly,
We could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
A beautiful smile at rest,
God broke our hearts to prove
He only takes the best.
It's lonesome here without you
We miss you so each day,
Our lives aren't the same
Since you went away.
When days are sad and lonely,
And everything goes wrong,
We seem to hear you whisper,
"Cheer up and carry on."
Each time we see your picture,
You seem to smile and say,
"Don't cry, I'm in God's keeping,
We'll meet again someday."
We love and miss you Mom….Love, MatthewsMom, MatthewsDad, Matthew, Matthews Grandpa, Matthews Uncles and Aunts, and friends
Quotes From Famous Mom's!!!!
PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"
MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"
MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"
HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"
COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"
BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"
MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"
CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you -- don't go biting off more than you can chew!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."
MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."
BATMAN'S MOTHER: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"
GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"
LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days."
SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"
MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"
MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"
HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"
COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"
BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"
MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"
CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you -- don't go biting off more than you can chew!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."
MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."
BATMAN'S MOTHER: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"
GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"
LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days."
SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Matthew blowing out the candles on his Happy Feet cake_small
Blowing out the candles on his Happy Feet cake with his cousins cheering him on. Thank God for his Auntie being able to have us in there and give my son his moment in the sun:-)
DADDY AND MATTHEW WEARING HIS CAPTAIN AMERICA HELMET ON HISBIRTHDAY_SMALL
DADDY AND MATTHEW WEARING HIS CAPTAIN AMERICA HELMET ON HIS BIRTHDAY_SMALL
Originally uploaded by Matthewsmom.
Matthew's first valentines day 2003 (one week old)_small
Our funny valentine....on his first valentine's day
February's almost over
Well, with the month almost done I thought I should probably try to type in one more blog before month's end. I will be heading to my hometown this weekend for the mass for my mom, so I will be a little distracted.
I will be glad when March is here! Spring!!! Yeah!!! (hopefully) This winter even though the weather has been mild, has been unberably long to me. I think because Matthew didn't do well with preschool and our descision to keep him home til next fall, everyday is longer than normal. We are really missing the mom and baby connections of socializing in a school setting, of just having a routine everyday or even a few days a week keeps you going. When you don't have that every day becomes this long day of trying to keep him entertained. And that's hard. I think alot of moms in my neighborhood work, because I don't see anyone out there in the winter time, so if you don't make those connections when the weather is nice, you're in trouble in your immediate neighborhood.
We had all wonderful plans to get him involved in classes anyway to keep him active and socialized, but financially it isn't an option right now. I do have him signed up for a free preschool age craft time next week at the library, but it is only an hour. It is hard juggling staying at home for the benefit of being there for your child vs. working full time so you can afford for them to have advantages in life. We don't know how other parents do it with more than one child or even with both working. We give them credit because we know with just one child, how hard it is and he is only 4! And we know that before long, I will have to rejoin the "paying" workforce because it's a necessity. We just don't see how though before he starts full time in school in kindergarten or first grade that we could afford daycare to make that happen, we still don't even have a babysitter:-)
On a happier note, I really want to add something he said so funny last week to my blog. More so I don't forget someday. Last Thursday (day after valentine's day) I asked him for my usual kiss (one of many I ask for in a day) and he pointed his finger at me waving it and saying "no, no, no mommy it's not valentine's day no more"!!!!! I am still in shock over this absolute use of manpower to Mommy!! First of all, my husband denies saying anything to him to prompt it! Secondly he is with me every second of the day, how did this little "man" in him come out??? Up to that day for every day of his life, he never said anything to me and always gladly kissed Mommy when asked! I don't think I'll ever get over it:-)
I will be glad when March is here! Spring!!! Yeah!!! (hopefully) This winter even though the weather has been mild, has been unberably long to me. I think because Matthew didn't do well with preschool and our descision to keep him home til next fall, everyday is longer than normal. We are really missing the mom and baby connections of socializing in a school setting, of just having a routine everyday or even a few days a week keeps you going. When you don't have that every day becomes this long day of trying to keep him entertained. And that's hard. I think alot of moms in my neighborhood work, because I don't see anyone out there in the winter time, so if you don't make those connections when the weather is nice, you're in trouble in your immediate neighborhood.
We had all wonderful plans to get him involved in classes anyway to keep him active and socialized, but financially it isn't an option right now. I do have him signed up for a free preschool age craft time next week at the library, but it is only an hour. It is hard juggling staying at home for the benefit of being there for your child vs. working full time so you can afford for them to have advantages in life. We don't know how other parents do it with more than one child or even with both working. We give them credit because we know with just one child, how hard it is and he is only 4! And we know that before long, I will have to rejoin the "paying" workforce because it's a necessity. We just don't see how though before he starts full time in school in kindergarten or first grade that we could afford daycare to make that happen, we still don't even have a babysitter:-)
On a happier note, I really want to add something he said so funny last week to my blog. More so I don't forget someday. Last Thursday (day after valentine's day) I asked him for my usual kiss (one of many I ask for in a day) and he pointed his finger at me waving it and saying "no, no, no mommy it's not valentine's day no more"!!!!! I am still in shock over this absolute use of manpower to Mommy!! First of all, my husband denies saying anything to him to prompt it! Secondly he is with me every second of the day, how did this little "man" in him come out??? Up to that day for every day of his life, he never said anything to me and always gladly kissed Mommy when asked! I don't think I'll ever get over it:-)
Monday, February 12, 2007
Someone's turning 40! Our wedding anniversary & one year since Grandma passed away
Thank God for family. Because of various reasons, Matthew's Aunt was nice enough to let us have his party at her house in Boston. This way my little guy could be with his cousins and have more than just mommy and daddy to sing him Happy Birthday:-)
We wound up surprising him by having him fall asleep in the car on the drive in "to Grandma and Grandpa's" he thought. When he woke up 5 minutes before my sister-in-laws house, Mommy had run into I-Party and had my hatch filled with balloons...and I thought I was good, but the bugger, looked around and said like in a dreamstate...are these my surprise Mommy? My husband dropped me off with all the decorations and cake while he went to pick up my in-laws and when they came back Matthew was in his glory!
It was a nice, loud few hours and he slept the whole way home. Whew! Now Mommy can finally relax for a day or two before thinking of our anniversary in a few days:-)
Next weekend I will be heading down to visit with my family. My mom passed away one year ago on Feb. 25th.....With all that is going on, it will be nice to just stop and embrace one moment at a time. With Matthew's birthday to our anniversary to the anniversary of my mom's passing...it's hard to catch my breath. One minute I'm happy, the next I'm planning something else and then I know on the 350 mile drive I can finally just breathe a sigh of ok...now this.
I know it will be hard for me but at the same time, there is no way I could miss it. For too many years my mother suffered from a long terminal illness, where I felt guilt of not being there. The last few days of her life, I was there until the end, her last breath. The first month was the toughest with every week getting worse with the memories of what I witnessed, but once we got passed that one month mark, my father and I felt like ok....now we can start healing. Without going into detail, she had suffered for 25 + years and so she is finally in peace and without pain. She is in God's joy of Heaven with her family and is now an angel always with me. And now she sees my son every moment and kisses him at night, whereas in life she couldn't.
I know this drive is going to be one of the toughest ones I ever made, and I've made some really tough ones. The distance between my family and where we live now is and always has been the biggest problem with my choice a million years ago, to move up here and as my mom deteriorated over the years, it only got worse as each year passed. The drive used to be one of excitement to get to either direction - either the excitement of coming back to my husband after a vist there or the excitement of the drive down to be with my family/hold my mom's hand or eventually share in my son's life with her.
It has been like one long vacational state of mind that takes alot of adjustment (and I'm not talking like a vacation of beaches and sunsets). It's like 17 years worth of turning the lights on and off in my heart, my mind and my physical state. I love so many people or things about both places that I just have always struggled with reality of it.
When I would visit my mom in the later years of her life, it was like ok..turn off your self of who you are now, drive down, visit with her in a nursing home, feel those guilt and horrid feelings of what kind of daughter would not be there for her and then in a few days, turn around and come back to living my dreams with my husband. And each time I would come home to him and now my family of him and my son, it's like there is no way in the world I would trade my son's life or destroy his family due to my geographical problems. When I say I am blessed to be my son's mom, it is because I feel that way every day and there is no way I would do anything to destroy that miracle from God, by desolving his family. All I'm trying to say about all of this, is juggling your emotions for 17 years for every event in your life no matter, what state it takes place in, is trying on anyone.
I can not understand other women that put everything material and otherwise before their children. I'm talking about women like Anna Nicole for instance. I would have never left my 5 month old baby in Nassau to go stay at a Hard Rock Casino Hotel in Florida! My heart aches for that now baby without a mom and for her that her life had to tragically end no matter how terrible her life might have been. I don't think I would hire a nanny even if I could. You are the mom and you are given that role for a reason. If you work due to financial stressors that's different, but to have a nanny in charge of your child for reasons other than your other "issues in life" are more important is a shame.
Maybe it has been because I had no choice since Matthew was born and that we have used a family member babysitter literally 2-3 times in his life, that is making me harder and more determined to say Hey! Yeah I would like some help sometimes but it's not that I'm complaining, it's because I'm human and I'm a woman (two wonderful combinations:-)
I wish I could get away for some Mommy time that had absolutely nothing to do with anything else except me being pampered or enjoying a weekend with my best girl friend, but it ain't happening.
But if we could both win the lottery (that I never play), we could both buy a plane and everything would be alot easier, at least in the hug department. By the way this same best friend that I never get to Tropical beaches with is going to be 40 in 20 days!!!! But who is counting????? Don't worry my little friend, I'm not going to tell the world who you are:-) LOL Maybe show them a pic? I'm just KIDDING!!!!! LOL
We wound up surprising him by having him fall asleep in the car on the drive in "to Grandma and Grandpa's" he thought. When he woke up 5 minutes before my sister-in-laws house, Mommy had run into I-Party and had my hatch filled with balloons...and I thought I was good, but the bugger, looked around and said like in a dreamstate...are these my surprise Mommy? My husband dropped me off with all the decorations and cake while he went to pick up my in-laws and when they came back Matthew was in his glory!
It was a nice, loud few hours and he slept the whole way home. Whew! Now Mommy can finally relax for a day or two before thinking of our anniversary in a few days:-)
Next weekend I will be heading down to visit with my family. My mom passed away one year ago on Feb. 25th.....With all that is going on, it will be nice to just stop and embrace one moment at a time. With Matthew's birthday to our anniversary to the anniversary of my mom's passing...it's hard to catch my breath. One minute I'm happy, the next I'm planning something else and then I know on the 350 mile drive I can finally just breathe a sigh of ok...now this.
I know it will be hard for me but at the same time, there is no way I could miss it. For too many years my mother suffered from a long terminal illness, where I felt guilt of not being there. The last few days of her life, I was there until the end, her last breath. The first month was the toughest with every week getting worse with the memories of what I witnessed, but once we got passed that one month mark, my father and I felt like ok....now we can start healing. Without going into detail, she had suffered for 25 + years and so she is finally in peace and without pain. She is in God's joy of Heaven with her family and is now an angel always with me. And now she sees my son every moment and kisses him at night, whereas in life she couldn't.
I know this drive is going to be one of the toughest ones I ever made, and I've made some really tough ones. The distance between my family and where we live now is and always has been the biggest problem with my choice a million years ago, to move up here and as my mom deteriorated over the years, it only got worse as each year passed. The drive used to be one of excitement to get to either direction - either the excitement of coming back to my husband after a vist there or the excitement of the drive down to be with my family/hold my mom's hand or eventually share in my son's life with her.
It has been like one long vacational state of mind that takes alot of adjustment (and I'm not talking like a vacation of beaches and sunsets). It's like 17 years worth of turning the lights on and off in my heart, my mind and my physical state. I love so many people or things about both places that I just have always struggled with reality of it.
When I would visit my mom in the later years of her life, it was like ok..turn off your self of who you are now, drive down, visit with her in a nursing home, feel those guilt and horrid feelings of what kind of daughter would not be there for her and then in a few days, turn around and come back to living my dreams with my husband. And each time I would come home to him and now my family of him and my son, it's like there is no way in the world I would trade my son's life or destroy his family due to my geographical problems. When I say I am blessed to be my son's mom, it is because I feel that way every day and there is no way I would do anything to destroy that miracle from God, by desolving his family. All I'm trying to say about all of this, is juggling your emotions for 17 years for every event in your life no matter, what state it takes place in, is trying on anyone.
I can not understand other women that put everything material and otherwise before their children. I'm talking about women like Anna Nicole for instance. I would have never left my 5 month old baby in Nassau to go stay at a Hard Rock Casino Hotel in Florida! My heart aches for that now baby without a mom and for her that her life had to tragically end no matter how terrible her life might have been. I don't think I would hire a nanny even if I could. You are the mom and you are given that role for a reason. If you work due to financial stressors that's different, but to have a nanny in charge of your child for reasons other than your other "issues in life" are more important is a shame.
Maybe it has been because I had no choice since Matthew was born and that we have used a family member babysitter literally 2-3 times in his life, that is making me harder and more determined to say Hey! Yeah I would like some help sometimes but it's not that I'm complaining, it's because I'm human and I'm a woman (two wonderful combinations:-)
I wish I could get away for some Mommy time that had absolutely nothing to do with anything else except me being pampered or enjoying a weekend with my best girl friend, but it ain't happening.
But if we could both win the lottery (that I never play), we could both buy a plane and everything would be alot easier, at least in the hug department. By the way this same best friend that I never get to Tropical beaches with is going to be 40 in 20 days!!!! But who is counting????? Don't worry my little friend, I'm not going to tell the world who you are:-) LOL Maybe show them a pic? I'm just KIDDING!!!!! LOL
Friday, February 9, 2007
He's sleeping now in his Spiderman bed
Aaaahhhh....For his birthday, Matthew asked us for Spiderman bedding...it was really cute because he was excited when he said it and so I got him the ensemble the night before his birthday. I had to take him to Walmart with me because at this time I was running around like a lunatic trying to get ready for his party (that we canceled). Anyway, he was happy when he got home and saw the size of spiderman on the comforter. He has a full size bed so he's a big spiderman:-)
The next morning when he woke up I hadn't made his bed up yet or even washed the sheets, so my husband had another gift for him to actually open on his birthday morning. He gave him a battery operated race track..Matthew's face lit up like Christmas and said "Thanks Dad, it's what I always wanted". .. like he had been wanting it for 20 years instead of the 4 he was now alive. He also thaked mommy for my hideous looking but wonderfully tasting birthday cake I gave him for breakfast:-) I never do that, but I think because I didn't contribute to the gift he was opening, I felt like hey....Mommy has something for you too.... I told Eric that I would be Bill Cosby that morning giving him chocolate cake. I told Matthew, Hey you know that Lil Bil on Nick Jr...when he grew up he gave his little boy chocolate cake for breakfast and his mommy wasn't too happy :-) lol
We took him into Museum of Science on his birthday. Family time is so important to me and so it means alot to Matthew, to me and my husband to go out of your way once in awhile if possilbe to make your child feel like the center of the earth and that they are more important than any meetings, work, house or anything..so they know that wow....my mommy and daddy love me so much and this is a memory that I am either going to remember or my mom is going to make a movie and take a million pics to make sure I remember it. I just wish we had gotten into Boston earlier...live and learn. We only had 5 hours and Matthew wanted to spend 2 of them in this discovery center (like a Children's Museum) on the first floor....next time we will hit the top floor and work our way down. It was so wonderful but overwhelming for him. Every time he turned his head, he was yelling look at this! He said his favorite part was going in the Apollo space shuttle with Mommy and Daddy and the Dinosaurs!
Too bad he had a cold too....and then the next morning I woke up stuffy... Good news now though. His Aunt in Boston is going to let us use her house tomorrow for his little cousins to be able to celebrate his birthday with him. We're still not feeling the best, but I don't think we are contagious anymore and right now, I just want him to have his family around him singing him "Happy Birthday". Next year, I am still aiming for Mickey Mouse.
And right now he is napping in his Spiderman bed...he is all grown up. Yesterday he was in his fishy comforter bedding...now by his own choice Spiderman...:-)
The next morning when he woke up I hadn't made his bed up yet or even washed the sheets, so my husband had another gift for him to actually open on his birthday morning. He gave him a battery operated race track..Matthew's face lit up like Christmas and said "Thanks Dad, it's what I always wanted". .. like he had been wanting it for 20 years instead of the 4 he was now alive. He also thaked mommy for my hideous looking but wonderfully tasting birthday cake I gave him for breakfast:-) I never do that, but I think because I didn't contribute to the gift he was opening, I felt like hey....Mommy has something for you too.... I told Eric that I would be Bill Cosby that morning giving him chocolate cake. I told Matthew, Hey you know that Lil Bil on Nick Jr...when he grew up he gave his little boy chocolate cake for breakfast and his mommy wasn't too happy :-) lol
We took him into Museum of Science on his birthday. Family time is so important to me and so it means alot to Matthew, to me and my husband to go out of your way once in awhile if possilbe to make your child feel like the center of the earth and that they are more important than any meetings, work, house or anything..so they know that wow....my mommy and daddy love me so much and this is a memory that I am either going to remember or my mom is going to make a movie and take a million pics to make sure I remember it. I just wish we had gotten into Boston earlier...live and learn. We only had 5 hours and Matthew wanted to spend 2 of them in this discovery center (like a Children's Museum) on the first floor....next time we will hit the top floor and work our way down. It was so wonderful but overwhelming for him. Every time he turned his head, he was yelling look at this! He said his favorite part was going in the Apollo space shuttle with Mommy and Daddy and the Dinosaurs!
Too bad he had a cold too....and then the next morning I woke up stuffy... Good news now though. His Aunt in Boston is going to let us use her house tomorrow for his little cousins to be able to celebrate his birthday with him. We're still not feeling the best, but I don't think we are contagious anymore and right now, I just want him to have his family around him singing him "Happy Birthday". Next year, I am still aiming for Mickey Mouse.
And right now he is napping in his Spiderman bed...he is all grown up. Yesterday he was in his fishy comforter bedding...now by his own choice Spiderman...:-)
Thursday, February 8, 2007
February's ups and downs
I was just thinking it seems like yesterday that Christmas was here and next thing you know...boom! It's February. When Matthew was born, he was our long awaited and much prayed for miracle and he came 2 months early and 11 days before our wedding anniversary. That year we felt he was the best anniversary gift from God, valentines gift and miracle... Every year I know February is coming just like I know December is coming...and every year I mean to start Christmas shopping in January for the next year, but I always wait til at least the beginning of November. This year..Christmas and Matthew's birthday came at me like a ton of bricks. I thought I had planned out though, under last minute thinking a good plan for a party. One that wouldn't cost as much, because we live on a lake and we were going to do an ice skating party. I planned having a movie for after ice skating and with no games and only a cake, pizza and popcorn to buy that I had planned a good party for our budget and one to remember for Matthew's memories.
I forgot to plan one thing. It happens every year at this time. Matthew being sick and then Mommy getting sick. I've had to cancel his party for this Saturday due to us being sick as well as other family comittments on both sides of our family. I hope to take him into Boston next weekend (our anniversary weekend) to celebrate somehow with his little cousins so he should feel like every other 4 year old in the world. One with family around him to clap when he blows out the candles on his cake. Children to play with during his party that he loves and loves him. It's heartbreaking to me that this has happened, because I never planned on an only child. Because of our infertility and the years that have gone by, this is just what has happened.
I had thought I would have 10 kids....I always loved them and I come from a huge italian/irish background where family is as much important in your daily routine as drinking water. In your every move, they are there..sometimes whether you want them or not, but they are there. It is so hard for me to go from the upbringing to having my son be an only child. But still, God had a plan and I have him and wouldn't trade him in for a million families.
I tried him in preschool in the fall and unfortunately, he was fine for the first few weeks and then...he wouldn't let me go...it went on for 2 months of his tearing away from me and finally to the point where he wouldn't get dressed in the morning and would make it unbearable. I only am so strong..physically and emotionally..so after talking to my husband we decided to wait til next year. We figure he will still be in preschool for another 2 years at that point and that one more year with Mommy wouldn't be that bad. I have always been worried about his socialization and that was my main concern and even in those few weeks where he liked school, he didn't really interact with the other kids the way I had hoped...except for the little girls..he is a ladies man. LOL
I just have to keep praying that I am doing the right things, that I am not adding to his dis-socialization, that my want and need for socialization for him is so strong that things will fall into place one of these days.
And for next year we have already decided that we are going to Disney World so, we are saving our pennys now! So his birthday is already planned and Mickey Mouse or Buzz Lightyear won't let him down...
I forgot to plan one thing. It happens every year at this time. Matthew being sick and then Mommy getting sick. I've had to cancel his party for this Saturday due to us being sick as well as other family comittments on both sides of our family. I hope to take him into Boston next weekend (our anniversary weekend) to celebrate somehow with his little cousins so he should feel like every other 4 year old in the world. One with family around him to clap when he blows out the candles on his cake. Children to play with during his party that he loves and loves him. It's heartbreaking to me that this has happened, because I never planned on an only child. Because of our infertility and the years that have gone by, this is just what has happened.
I had thought I would have 10 kids....I always loved them and I come from a huge italian/irish background where family is as much important in your daily routine as drinking water. In your every move, they are there..sometimes whether you want them or not, but they are there. It is so hard for me to go from the upbringing to having my son be an only child. But still, God had a plan and I have him and wouldn't trade him in for a million families.
I tried him in preschool in the fall and unfortunately, he was fine for the first few weeks and then...he wouldn't let me go...it went on for 2 months of his tearing away from me and finally to the point where he wouldn't get dressed in the morning and would make it unbearable. I only am so strong..physically and emotionally..so after talking to my husband we decided to wait til next year. We figure he will still be in preschool for another 2 years at that point and that one more year with Mommy wouldn't be that bad. I have always been worried about his socialization and that was my main concern and even in those few weeks where he liked school, he didn't really interact with the other kids the way I had hoped...except for the little girls..he is a ladies man. LOL
I just have to keep praying that I am doing the right things, that I am not adding to his dis-socialization, that my want and need for socialization for him is so strong that things will fall into place one of these days.
And for next year we have already decided that we are going to Disney World so, we are saving our pennys now! So his birthday is already planned and Mickey Mouse or Buzz Lightyear won't let him down...
Saturday, February 3, 2007
And we had been doing so well....
Well, here it is February 3rd and Matthew was going to go to a birthday party tomorrow for a little friend that he hasn't seen in so long, and he got a fever last night. It all started yesterday, he started sneezing a little and then by last night was telling me something hurt in his throat when he swallowed. I took his temp around 10 pm and it was 101.3..we gave him the "orange" stuff because he hates "the red". (all the while Mommy praying that the orage will do the trick).
He is all stuffy this morning and had another fever this morning about the same as last night. We are praying this goes away and is better by his birthday party next Saturday.
But I am dreading calling our friend who is having a birthday party tomorrow. We have had the worst luck with her and Matthew or one of us is always sick. This is one of my problems with Mommydom. It brings back my own childhood feelings of letting people down or having them not believe you or you feel that they don't believe you. You want to just say hey, "come over and we will stick our head out the door and you then can see proof"...
I think because Matthew was a preemie every winter since he was born, the more we would have playgroups, the more he would get sick. And that was a time when he didn't even interact yet. Mommy would take care of the 10 day illness and two days later or a week later, he would get it again and it would last all winter long. And sometimes then Mommy and Daddy would get it too. And as all mom's know there is no fun in trying to comfort a sick child, when you don't feel good...your energy is completely drained.
When the spring comes, he's fine. He will have an occasional cold that will come ironically whenever we go to visit my family and then they will say "How come he's always sick when you bring him down?"...He get's seasonal allergies in the fall and needs a nebulizer because he developed RSV when he was 18 months old and Mommy has seasonal allergies so they say he might just be prone to them.
All I know is we have been blessed this winter with the warmth and not getting sick more than maybe once until last night.
On his second Christmas morning, he was sick. It was the saddest thing to see a little angel not being able to be excited about what Santa brought. And to see him in that misery is always a heartbreaker..Mommy just rubs his backs and wishes magically that my hand can somehow remove the fever and just make it go away.
Well...I will blog again later because I have some things to do today.
He is all stuffy this morning and had another fever this morning about the same as last night. We are praying this goes away and is better by his birthday party next Saturday.
But I am dreading calling our friend who is having a birthday party tomorrow. We have had the worst luck with her and Matthew or one of us is always sick. This is one of my problems with Mommydom. It brings back my own childhood feelings of letting people down or having them not believe you or you feel that they don't believe you. You want to just say hey, "come over and we will stick our head out the door and you then can see proof"...
I think because Matthew was a preemie every winter since he was born, the more we would have playgroups, the more he would get sick. And that was a time when he didn't even interact yet. Mommy would take care of the 10 day illness and two days later or a week later, he would get it again and it would last all winter long. And sometimes then Mommy and Daddy would get it too. And as all mom's know there is no fun in trying to comfort a sick child, when you don't feel good...your energy is completely drained.
When the spring comes, he's fine. He will have an occasional cold that will come ironically whenever we go to visit my family and then they will say "How come he's always sick when you bring him down?"...He get's seasonal allergies in the fall and needs a nebulizer because he developed RSV when he was 18 months old and Mommy has seasonal allergies so they say he might just be prone to them.
All I know is we have been blessed this winter with the warmth and not getting sick more than maybe once until last night.
On his second Christmas morning, he was sick. It was the saddest thing to see a little angel not being able to be excited about what Santa brought. And to see him in that misery is always a heartbreaker..Mommy just rubs his backs and wishes magically that my hand can somehow remove the fever and just make it go away.
Well...I will blog again later because I have some things to do today.
Friday, February 2, 2007
Matthew - only 5 days til 4 years old
What else is new? It's going to take me awhile to find the avenue I want to take with this blog. I thought I could set it up more like a webpage with catagories, pictures and journaling but I'm not sure yet.
If I wind up doing a webpage, you all will be the first to know:-)
Matthew today is putting up with Mommy. Earlier this week, in my panicked state preparing for his birthday party, cleaning the house, being on the computer..I told him Honey Mommy is so busy, I need to think and plan and I will be with you in a little while. He actually said "Mommy you use your brain to think, not the puter"....out of the mouth of a 4 year old who to this day in his stubborn way won't do his abc's with me except for when they come out on his own every once in awhile to show us, he does know them. This is the little boy that said a few weeks ago, "Mommy I use imagination!" And I can't get him to do the abc's willingly:-)lol
Today he made on his own a beautiful art project all by himself of an unopened foam halloween mask and used his glitter glu (that I thought was out of his reach). He made it better than the ones on the front of the package and did it all quietly while Mommy was on the computer . Yesterday he drew his own self portrait with duck tape on a ice cream stick as his mouth. It looked just like him except for the stick!
I know he has everything in him to come out...I just need to find out how to get him to give it to me when I need it!
He is so wonderful. He tells me on my ugliest days, that I'm pretty. Without me having to ask. I know all moms go through this. I just need to write it all down to remember it..because the last 3 years are a blur....even though we have millions of pics and videos to look at...and I was with him every single second. How could it be a blur?
Til later
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Friends make the world go round
I am just going to type a little right now due to dinner time and Matthew is bringing in his toy food into the kitchen and interupting me so his toy food is overtaking the real food right now:-)
Today was an awesome day. We had some of Matthew's best friends over and a friend for Mommy so we had a really a nice time. It was a musical time. And the animals from around the area I'm sure were heading to my house, when they all played at the same time. But it was cute and they actually played better than in the past. The last two times Matthew has been with his friends, they all played awesome and we're starting to really see them all growing up. The twins turned 4 in December and Matthew is going to be 4 on Feb 7th:-( It's almost as old as 5 in my eyes which is half way to double digits..I'm hyperventilating just thinking about it.
Today was an awesome day. We had some of Matthew's best friends over and a friend for Mommy so we had a really a nice time. It was a musical time. And the animals from around the area I'm sure were heading to my house, when they all played at the same time. But it was cute and they actually played better than in the past. The last two times Matthew has been with his friends, they all played awesome and we're starting to really see them all growing up. The twins turned 4 in December and Matthew is going to be 4 on Feb 7th:-( It's almost as old as 5 in my eyes which is half way to double digits..I'm hyperventilating just thinking about it.
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