Today I was going to go back and reflect on past memories for my Wednesday theme, but realized there have been some funny moments by my little guy lately that Mama Swan has been slacking on sharing about.
We have this routine at night before bed. Due to Matthew still sleeping with us (I know horrible mom that I am), still co-sleeping, anyway we have this routine.
Matthew will get dressed for bed, brush his teeth and then we or I will read him a story. Whenever it is time for Papa Swam do depart, whether after the story or before if he is busy, Matthew has for the past two years said "Daddy, After You Do Your Things, You Sleep With Me?"
Of which Daddy says "Yes and I love you" and kisses him and leaves the room.
Every night since his birth, I have said out loud to Him "Thank You God For My Miracle." Over the past year, Matthew has replied "Thank You God For My Miracle" and tells me he loves me and kisses me goodnight.
About a month ago, I had a girls night out with my friend Twins Mom. Matthew was on the couch, and yelled to me as I was heading out the door "After You Do Your Things You Sleep With Me?" Of which I dropped to the floor kissing and hugging him for his sweetness, and then he said "Thank You God For My Miracle, I love you Mommy."
Talk about dropping me to my knees. Yeah, I'm in love.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Horoscopes, reflecting, friends and the joy they bring no matter how you keep in touch
That other website I belong to, the one I've become distracted by and addicted to the past oh..six months, has been a blessing in more ways than one.
For the past few years, I have blogged and hoped I would make connections in addition to my own spiritual therapy of sharing, really hoped more for someone to say, "me too."
The other site, has kept me in touch with my relatives and even one of my father's brother's, my cousins that usually I only see once a year and the time flies by and you wish it was longer.
It has also made my already formed friendships stronger and more of a consistent basis, which is what you need in life, to keep a sense of humor, a sense that you are not alone and a sense of well being in more than just sharing about Matthew, in sharing about you, as the human being you are who needs social involvement to stay human.
My Carebear refuses to join this site, yet has always remained in my heart and soul. She has always emailed me or called me, right around the time when I was thinking of her - but because I am an idiot with the phone, I've not been there for her the way she needs me to be.
I'm a horrible example sometimes of a friend. I know what I need in a relationship, yet when it comes time for me to splitting up myself between everyone that wants a piece of me, and that I also need a piece of...there is nothing left over...and it's not fair and it also doesn't make her any less of a friend in my heart.
My horoscope on that site, has been dead on since I joined. Today though, I think it is off a day.
It says: Conversations have a particularly emotional, intimate, or nostalgic tone. Sharing memories and reminiscences, or discussing a very personal topic is likely now. You may have a significant communication (email, phone call, or personal discussion with someone who was once very important to you or with whom you have a long history. This is a good time to reflect, review, and get a perspective on emotional matters or things of the past.
So, with that said, yesterday Carebear sent me an email while I was getting re-acquainted with my blog and said "Guess who I ran into" and in the next 24 hours connected me with another wonderful childhood friend and both shared the most beautiful photo's and updates on their lives.
It isn't important how we keep in touch, because the memories in our hearts are what hold us together...but sharing and keeping up is essential to letting us all know that yeah..we do care, we do still hold that bond that we formed so many years ago.
I love them!
For the past few years, I have blogged and hoped I would make connections in addition to my own spiritual therapy of sharing, really hoped more for someone to say, "me too."
The other site, has kept me in touch with my relatives and even one of my father's brother's, my cousins that usually I only see once a year and the time flies by and you wish it was longer.
It has also made my already formed friendships stronger and more of a consistent basis, which is what you need in life, to keep a sense of humor, a sense that you are not alone and a sense of well being in more than just sharing about Matthew, in sharing about you, as the human being you are who needs social involvement to stay human.
My Carebear refuses to join this site, yet has always remained in my heart and soul. She has always emailed me or called me, right around the time when I was thinking of her - but because I am an idiot with the phone, I've not been there for her the way she needs me to be.
I'm a horrible example sometimes of a friend. I know what I need in a relationship, yet when it comes time for me to splitting up myself between everyone that wants a piece of me, and that I also need a piece of...there is nothing left over...and it's not fair and it also doesn't make her any less of a friend in my heart.
My horoscope on that site, has been dead on since I joined. Today though, I think it is off a day.
It says: Conversations have a particularly emotional, intimate, or nostalgic tone. Sharing memories and reminiscences, or discussing a very personal topic is likely now. You may have a significant communication (email, phone call, or personal discussion with someone who was once very important to you or with whom you have a long history. This is a good time to reflect, review, and get a perspective on emotional matters or things of the past.
So, with that said, yesterday Carebear sent me an email while I was getting re-acquainted with my blog and said "Guess who I ran into" and in the next 24 hours connected me with another wonderful childhood friend and both shared the most beautiful photo's and updates on their lives.
It isn't important how we keep in touch, because the memories in our hearts are what hold us together...but sharing and keeping up is essential to letting us all know that yeah..we do care, we do still hold that bond that we formed so many years ago.
I love them!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Bad Mama Swan Blogger..bad..bad..bad..
I can not believe it has been another almost two months since my last post..
Most of it has been due to no news is good news..and typical busy everyday life more keeping up with my friends and family on a daily basis, instead of the world in my mind....
Yet, something keeps pulling me back...Mother's day, my pain in my shoulder calcified fragment in my bursa of my right rotator cuff has kept me from here the past week...As Papa Swan is saying "Mama Swan hurt her wing."
Now that I have somewhat limited movement again...I feel like what if I couldn't type or share my thoughts of my son with the world...nothing is more painful to me, then not being able to express myself.
So, with that said, I am going to get back to sharing on a more weekly basis again..for my sake, for my memories of what I hope someday my almost first grader will understand why Mama would type on the computer every day!
I am still in awe...and this week will be my second chance to volunteer in his kindergarten class to see him in his element with teachers and friends and their well oiled machine of a class room schedule that is really wonderful to witness.
Later this week, for special person's day, Papa Swan will be the guest of honor and will get to witness Matthew in gym class.
Then the weekend is already Memorial Weekend, which to me is unfathomable. Where did the past two months go?
Most of it has been due to no news is good news..and typical busy everyday life more keeping up with my friends and family on a daily basis, instead of the world in my mind....
Yet, something keeps pulling me back...Mother's day, my pain in my shoulder calcified fragment in my bursa of my right rotator cuff has kept me from here the past week...As Papa Swan is saying "Mama Swan hurt her wing."
Now that I have somewhat limited movement again...I feel like what if I couldn't type or share my thoughts of my son with the world...nothing is more painful to me, then not being able to express myself.
So, with that said, I am going to get back to sharing on a more weekly basis again..for my sake, for my memories of what I hope someday my almost first grader will understand why Mama would type on the computer every day!
I am still in awe...and this week will be my second chance to volunteer in his kindergarten class to see him in his element with teachers and friends and their well oiled machine of a class room schedule that is really wonderful to witness.
Later this week, for special person's day, Papa Swan will be the guest of honor and will get to witness Matthew in gym class.
Then the weekend is already Memorial Weekend, which to me is unfathomable. Where did the past two months go?
Friday, March 20, 2009
Bruins, Maple Sugar Trip and Spring Robin, Oh My...
Last night, Papa Swan was wonderfully given two tickets to see the Boston Bruins play against the Los Angelas Kings. The seats were awesome and Matthew got his first taste of Professional Ice Hockey right up and close, only a few rows behind the Bruins players.
I am hoping to post some pictures later of their father/son moment.
This morning we were all excited. Not only is today the First Day Of Spring, which in my mind should be a National Holiday, but it was also Matthew's Maple Sugaring Season field trip.
He will learn how the tree function changes through the seasons and observe tools used from Native American to Colonial to Modern Day and then get to taste the different tastes between the sap and the syrup.
We started the day, with a visit while waiting for the school bus, from the biggest fattest Robin on a tree branch near where we were standing. It was the only one around..and it landed near us, chirping away. I asked Mrs. (assumed pregnant already due to the size of the belly) Robin, where did you go for the winter? We were so happy to see that robin!
And so far, it is the only one around, from other friends - we are the only one's...hmmm. Sign of spring, I think so!!
I am hoping to post some pictures later of their father/son moment.
This morning we were all excited. Not only is today the First Day Of Spring, which in my mind should be a National Holiday, but it was also Matthew's Maple Sugaring Season field trip.
He will learn how the tree function changes through the seasons and observe tools used from Native American to Colonial to Modern Day and then get to taste the different tastes between the sap and the syrup.
We started the day, with a visit while waiting for the school bus, from the biggest fattest Robin on a tree branch near where we were standing. It was the only one around..and it landed near us, chirping away. I asked Mrs. (assumed pregnant already due to the size of the belly) Robin, where did you go for the winter? We were so happy to see that robin!
And so far, it is the only one around, from other friends - we are the only one's...hmmm. Sign of spring, I think so!!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
My Leprechaun was looking forward to a good day at school today, wondering if the leprechaun from last year in preschool would again visit his school and leave some gold glitter footprints around.
Last night, Eric taped Matthew playing his acoustic guitar along with Metallica's Whiskey In The Jar and Enter Sandman. It was the Irish guitar playing performance of a lifetime. I am hoping one of these days to share some moments from the video..baby steps...one thing at a time.
Last night, Eric taped Matthew playing his acoustic guitar along with Metallica's Whiskey In The Jar and Enter Sandman. It was the Irish guitar playing performance of a lifetime. I am hoping one of these days to share some moments from the video..baby steps...one thing at a time.
Enjoy your day and don't drink too much green beer!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
We So Can't Wait For Spring to Officially Come Next WEEK!!- Matthew's LONGEST BASEBALL GAME EVER!
Matthew has had a cough since Monday. Over the weekend, the temperatures were warmer, so then typical New England weather the next day it will be freezing!
We are so ready for this long winter to be done, for more reasons than one.
It has been tough being housebound and the moment the sun comes out and the temperatures rise, the music gets turned up and you can just feel the change in the air, in the house...it's like we all breathe a sigh of relief...............aaahhhhhhhhh we made it! We survived again!
Then it gets cold again the next day, and Mama Swan can barely type and move her body due to her limbs being frozen all the time.
I am sick of wearing sweats and sweaters!! I wish the warm weather lasted a lot longer.
I know this sounds like a complaining blog..but really it's not. I'm just waiting for my fingers to warm up so I can blog more.
On a warmer note, one sign of spring is baseball season. The other day, I got an email from another mom, wanting me to register Matthew for the longest game ever. It is a 36 hour game that is being played in our town and to register him for free, it created the most awesome fundraising and proud mommy moment for me. It created a page with Matthew's picture, and his name was scattered throughout the page. I am copying some of it to protect our identity but still with sharing this awesome moment for my little T-Ball player:
TOP FUND-RAISING INCENTIVE PRIZE LUNCH WITH CURT SCHILLING Each player who raises $250 will be invited to a pizza lunch featuring Red Sox great, CURT SCHILLING. Curt will sign autographs, share stories and pose for pictures with the kids. The TOP 32 overall fund-raisers will get to sit at CURT'S table during lunch!
On the weekend of June 6 and 7 all 800 ____Massachusetts youth baseball and softball players including Matthew will attempt to set the WORLD RECORD for the longest baseball game ever played, 36 hours!
We are so ready for this long winter to be done, for more reasons than one.
It has been tough being housebound and the moment the sun comes out and the temperatures rise, the music gets turned up and you can just feel the change in the air, in the house...it's like we all breathe a sigh of relief...............aaahhhhhhhhh we made it! We survived again!
Then it gets cold again the next day, and Mama Swan can barely type and move her body due to her limbs being frozen all the time.
I am sick of wearing sweats and sweaters!! I wish the warm weather lasted a lot longer.
I know this sounds like a complaining blog..but really it's not. I'm just waiting for my fingers to warm up so I can blog more.
On a warmer note, one sign of spring is baseball season. The other day, I got an email from another mom, wanting me to register Matthew for the longest game ever. It is a 36 hour game that is being played in our town and to register him for free, it created the most awesome fundraising and proud mommy moment for me. It created a page with Matthew's picture, and his name was scattered throughout the page. I am copying some of it to protect our identity but still with sharing this awesome moment for my little T-Ball player:
TOP FUND-RAISING INCENTIVE PRIZE LUNCH WITH CURT SCHILLING Each player who raises $250 will be invited to a pizza lunch featuring Red Sox great, CURT SCHILLING. Curt will sign autographs, share stories and pose for pictures with the kids. The TOP 32 overall fund-raisers will get to sit at CURT'S table during lunch!
On the weekend of June 6 and 7 all 800 ____Massachusetts youth baseball and softball players including Matthew will attempt to set the WORLD RECORD for the longest baseball game ever played, 36 hours!
The event will take place in ____, Massachusetts at the __Complex.
Every player from each team will participate in the event.
The Longest Baseball Game will begin at 8:00 a.m. on Saturday June 6 and end 36 hours later, at 8:00 p.m. on Sunday, June 7.
The current world record for the Longest Baseball Game is 32 hours 29 minutes 25 seconds set October 13-14, 2007 in St. Louis, Mo.
In order for this event to be a success we need your help.
Please consider contributing towards Matthew's personal fund-raising goal. We're offering great incentive prizes for Matthew including a great top fund-raising prize to be announced soon!
Our goal is to raise $100,000 to distribute to charities that include the local DARE program, and March of Dimes. The entire game will be broadcast on the Internet at___.
The exact time of Matthew's game will be posted on the home page soon so you can listen to Matthew help set a WORLD RECORD!
Thank you for your support!
NOW, HOW COOL IS THAT!! AND SUCH AN AWESOME FUNDRAISING IDEA!!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Make that Three Teeth in One Week and some green leaves for Mama Swan
Knock on Wood, the incident the other day possibly was a one time deal. His teacher assured me that there was no need for us to meet and talk about it..so fingers crossed.
The other night, Matthew yelled, "MY OTHER TOOTH FELL OUT!!!!"
That makes three teeth right next to each other on the top! I'm having a heart attack picturing him toothless very soon.
He had fallen, running up my hardwood stairs earlier in the day and banged his chin very hard. I'm thinking that combined with Papa Swan noticing he hadn't stopped wiggling the tooth for the past couple of days, might have done the trick.
I don't know if this is normal. Three teeth in one week???? I have to make him a dentist appointment.
The weekend provided some warm weather, so yesterday he was outside with Papa Swan playing in the yard.
I was upstairs doing laundry I had been avoiding all week, along with some spring fever to get me to organize some old toys, old clothes..etc..
Matthew yells to me from downstairs "MOM!! I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU!!! BUT I CAN'T BRING IT UPSTAIRS BECAUSE I HAVE MUD ALL OVER MY BOOTS!!
I come downstairs to meet him halfway through the house, with his muddy boots, but I get over it quick when he hands me about 20 small sticks all tight together in his hands...and then says "See there is some green leaves in there too!"
The pile is still on my counter and I plan on keeping those green leaves forever in my treasure chest...of little things he gives me.
Snow today..but who cares..more green leaves right around the corner.
The other night, Matthew yelled, "MY OTHER TOOTH FELL OUT!!!!"
That makes three teeth right next to each other on the top! I'm having a heart attack picturing him toothless very soon.
He had fallen, running up my hardwood stairs earlier in the day and banged his chin very hard. I'm thinking that combined with Papa Swan noticing he hadn't stopped wiggling the tooth for the past couple of days, might have done the trick.
I don't know if this is normal. Three teeth in one week???? I have to make him a dentist appointment.
The weekend provided some warm weather, so yesterday he was outside with Papa Swan playing in the yard.
I was upstairs doing laundry I had been avoiding all week, along with some spring fever to get me to organize some old toys, old clothes..etc..
Matthew yells to me from downstairs "MOM!! I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU!!! BUT I CAN'T BRING IT UPSTAIRS BECAUSE I HAVE MUD ALL OVER MY BOOTS!!
I come downstairs to meet him halfway through the house, with his muddy boots, but I get over it quick when he hands me about 20 small sticks all tight together in his hands...and then says "See there is some green leaves in there too!"
The pile is still on my counter and I plan on keeping those green leaves forever in my treasure chest...of little things he gives me.
Snow today..but who cares..more green leaves right around the corner.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Tough Day for Mama Swan
Alright, I don't even know where to begin.
My little guy is so in need of a brother or a next door neighbor to play with on a constant daily basis.
He has this need to wrestle and want to be constantly be active, that I know is completely normal for a six year old boy. He is so all boy, that we just can't give him all that he needs everyday and for me, as his mom, it's draining. Emotionally.
There are two boys in his class that he is constantly looking up to and wanting to impress. They are twins and they have each other not only in class, but at home when they get off the bus. One of them, from the stories I get in bits and pieces from Matthew...seems a little bit bullish and someone that I try to tell Matthew that it is okay to just be himself and not look up to this boy, but just be himself and be the good kid that he is.
Yesterday morning before getting on the bus, literally as I'm helping him put on his coat, he said "Mrs. __ said I have never got a bad note, yet! But that for pushing someone I could!" I looked up horrified that he was mentioning it as we were walking out the door and told him, he better not push anyone and that he should always use his words.
He came off the bus yesterday and literally was doing the Irish Jig for his friends on the bus, like a show, as he headed in the house. I thought wow he is having a great day!
I opened up his backpack to see the day's work or artwork and it was filled to the rim, with Cat In The Hat that we hung on the window and other work on numbers, when I saw this little note from his teacher with his name on the top of the page.
I looked at the circled item mentioning that he had "Not kept his hands to himself" and then mentioning that we need to enforce these rules at home. At the bottom of the page, she mentioned in handwriting that he had kicked another child........
I wasn't even going to type it, blog it...It hurts me so much to know that my little miracle, is acting this way.
When I was reading the note out loud, he took it and out of frustration, tore it up into three pieces and crumpled it and then hid behind the couch. I asked his what happened. He mentioned another child wanted to play with someone..whatever... I told him that he is never to hit, push or kick anyone in school and due to that there would be no TV or computer games, Nintendo all day.
It was a long day.
When the day was almost done, he wanted me to play with him and I'm just so sad about this, that I just wanted to crawl inside of myself. He said then the words that will haunt me for the rest of my life, "Why did you have me if you didn't want me????"
Me...who has this blog, who gave birth, who prayed for him, who is so blessed by him, who is so in awe of him, who just thinks life wasn't life before he was on it...I didn't want him.
I can't type these words..it is killing me...I really wish I had my own mother right now, to help me to give me advice...
This morning, as he was getting on the bus after promising us this will never happen again, he kissed me and then said "Mom, any more only hugs when the bus is coming..you can kiss me before hand!"
Talk about my heart breaking.
I hope and pray that this is the last note we ever get. I know he is full of testosterone and that he is all boy and in class with twelve other boys and that these things happen.
I am blessed and thankful for him and couldn't imagine life without him!! Thank you God!
My little guy is so in need of a brother or a next door neighbor to play with on a constant daily basis.
He has this need to wrestle and want to be constantly be active, that I know is completely normal for a six year old boy. He is so all boy, that we just can't give him all that he needs everyday and for me, as his mom, it's draining. Emotionally.
There are two boys in his class that he is constantly looking up to and wanting to impress. They are twins and they have each other not only in class, but at home when they get off the bus. One of them, from the stories I get in bits and pieces from Matthew...seems a little bit bullish and someone that I try to tell Matthew that it is okay to just be himself and not look up to this boy, but just be himself and be the good kid that he is.
Yesterday morning before getting on the bus, literally as I'm helping him put on his coat, he said "Mrs. __ said I have never got a bad note, yet! But that for pushing someone I could!" I looked up horrified that he was mentioning it as we were walking out the door and told him, he better not push anyone and that he should always use his words.
He came off the bus yesterday and literally was doing the Irish Jig for his friends on the bus, like a show, as he headed in the house. I thought wow he is having a great day!
I opened up his backpack to see the day's work or artwork and it was filled to the rim, with Cat In The Hat that we hung on the window and other work on numbers, when I saw this little note from his teacher with his name on the top of the page.
I looked at the circled item mentioning that he had "Not kept his hands to himself" and then mentioning that we need to enforce these rules at home. At the bottom of the page, she mentioned in handwriting that he had kicked another child........
I wasn't even going to type it, blog it...It hurts me so much to know that my little miracle, is acting this way.
When I was reading the note out loud, he took it and out of frustration, tore it up into three pieces and crumpled it and then hid behind the couch. I asked his what happened. He mentioned another child wanted to play with someone..whatever... I told him that he is never to hit, push or kick anyone in school and due to that there would be no TV or computer games, Nintendo all day.
It was a long day.
When the day was almost done, he wanted me to play with him and I'm just so sad about this, that I just wanted to crawl inside of myself. He said then the words that will haunt me for the rest of my life, "Why did you have me if you didn't want me????"
Me...who has this blog, who gave birth, who prayed for him, who is so blessed by him, who is so in awe of him, who just thinks life wasn't life before he was on it...I didn't want him.
I can't type these words..it is killing me...I really wish I had my own mother right now, to help me to give me advice...
This morning, as he was getting on the bus after promising us this will never happen again, he kissed me and then said "Mom, any more only hugs when the bus is coming..you can kiss me before hand!"
Talk about my heart breaking.
I hope and pray that this is the last note we ever get. I know he is full of testosterone and that he is all boy and in class with twelve other boys and that these things happen.
I am blessed and thankful for him and couldn't imagine life without him!! Thank you God!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Mama Swan's Night Out - The Great Escape and Matthew's Two Top Front Teeth
On Satuday night, I had a much needed and planned night out with some old and new friends. About a month ago, I found a sign at a local club for a Journey Tribute Band.
They are called The Great Escape.
What a fitting title.
I had planned to see them, we got tickets for a few mom friends to get out and what an ESCAPE it was.
The pub where they were playing was a little tight quarters, but so worth it. I had a few too many Smithwicks that four days later, I'm still feeling.
On the way out the door to go out with my friends, Matthew yells "I LOST MY TOOTH!!" We look at him, as blood is covering his mouth from his front tooth that came out.
I only have one picture now of the one tooth, before my ESCAPE was done, when I came home Papa Swan said "The one next to it came out too!"
Now everything he does in so precious with his little toothless grin. He can be so bold and with that grin...we are just dying with love and a little laughter on the inside. I can't believe my little guy who just turned six has now lost four teeth. The ones on the bottom he lost last summer after a light saber incident. They are now coming in.
Everytime I look at his picture from last year on my desktop, I just sigh at the little baby teeth in his smile that are now gone.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Bad Blogger...Bad Mama Swan...Bad....
I am mortified that it has been almost 30 days since my last post!!
This happened last year at this time. With Matthew's sixth birthday, his party, other birthday parties, anniversaries, visit to PA to see Grandpa P, Uncle J and Uncle Phil, back to school...it has just flown by...
There is no excuse for it. My little guy has had some great moments this month, including turning six. (Only four years from ten..double digits..stop hyperventilating)
The Public Library is one of the best resources in MA for discounted passes to the best museums, zoos, water parks, science and children museums. When we were on school vacation last week, we were going to go. Mama Swan had her head swimming in just trying to prepare for a last minute decision that yes, we could split the week and see Grandpa in PA and be back in time for another birthday party/Mama Swan and Papa Swan's anniversary that she didn't get to the library in time.
Papa Swan has a bad earache, so we are going into town for a doctor's appointment anyway, so I reserved us a Boston Children's Museum Pass for Each coupon admits up to four (4) people at a reduced rate of $2.00 per person, as opposed to the regular charge of $12.00 for each adult and $9.00 for Matthew.
Not too shabby. They are all like that.
So I am going to wrap up this post, this month with a promise that next month..I will be better.
This happened last year at this time. With Matthew's sixth birthday, his party, other birthday parties, anniversaries, visit to PA to see Grandpa P, Uncle J and Uncle Phil, back to school...it has just flown by...
There is no excuse for it. My little guy has had some great moments this month, including turning six. (Only four years from ten..double digits..stop hyperventilating)
The Public Library is one of the best resources in MA for discounted passes to the best museums, zoos, water parks, science and children museums. When we were on school vacation last week, we were going to go. Mama Swan had her head swimming in just trying to prepare for a last minute decision that yes, we could split the week and see Grandpa in PA and be back in time for another birthday party/Mama Swan and Papa Swan's anniversary that she didn't get to the library in time.
Papa Swan has a bad earache, so we are going into town for a doctor's appointment anyway, so I reserved us a Boston Children's Museum Pass for Each coupon admits up to four (4) people at a reduced rate of $2.00 per person, as opposed to the regular charge of $12.00 for each adult and $9.00 for Matthew.
Not too shabby. They are all like that.
So I am going to wrap up this post, this month with a promise that next month..I will be better.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Fantasy Friday - Another Reality Mom's Night Out! & more
Well, it's funny. Some people will say "How was your weekend?" or "Aren't you glad, it's Friday!!"
When your a stay at home mom (currently looking for part time work from home at night again), weekends and Friday's aren't the same as they are for the normal working folk.
For the past six years (one more week), every day, every minute, every second, every year....has been combined into one long and lovingly rewarding from Matthew, space of time.
Unfortunately, Papa Swan is still in between jobs, as well, so when he is home, it's like one long weekend as well. It's a good thing for Matthew, he has Daddy to play with him, to help me with errands and housework, and even meeting other mom's for Matthew's scheduled play dates, when I have been sick.
During the past six years, one friend of mine has been consistently there for me. My friend P, aka Twins Mom. Her heart and devotion to me and not letting my lack of phone calls affect her friendship and for that, I am so thankful.
Tonight, together with her and another wonderful friend, N (R's mom), we will finally get out into the real world on a Friday night. With other people that have jobs during the week, and still schedule dates with friends, or real dates for the movies.
It's something how something that simple, can be so taken for granted.
When I was younger, literally every week I either brought my little brother Phil with me to the movies, or went on dates with girlfriends or otherwise to movies every week twice a week...sometimes twice in the same day. hehe
Granted our financial situation, makes my enjoying movies at the theater a fantasy these days. Thank God for P's coupons!!!!
Tonight Mama Swan is going to see Revolutionary Road with Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio. The last two movies Papa Swan and me saw actually in the theater, was one before Matthew was born, and then ten years ago Titanic. He doesn't like the seating in the theater, and would prefer to watch them at home.
I am so looking forward to being with the girls tonight to see the reunion, in this movie. Their chemistry is unbelievable.
Nothing like that unbridled love to make my Friday night! Not to mention my weekend! Or year!
When your a stay at home mom (currently looking for part time work from home at night again), weekends and Friday's aren't the same as they are for the normal working folk.
For the past six years (one more week), every day, every minute, every second, every year....has been combined into one long and lovingly rewarding from Matthew, space of time.
Unfortunately, Papa Swan is still in between jobs, as well, so when he is home, it's like one long weekend as well. It's a good thing for Matthew, he has Daddy to play with him, to help me with errands and housework, and even meeting other mom's for Matthew's scheduled play dates, when I have been sick.
During the past six years, one friend of mine has been consistently there for me. My friend P, aka Twins Mom. Her heart and devotion to me and not letting my lack of phone calls affect her friendship and for that, I am so thankful.
Tonight, together with her and another wonderful friend, N (R's mom), we will finally get out into the real world on a Friday night. With other people that have jobs during the week, and still schedule dates with friends, or real dates for the movies.
It's something how something that simple, can be so taken for granted.
When I was younger, literally every week I either brought my little brother Phil with me to the movies, or went on dates with girlfriends or otherwise to movies every week twice a week...sometimes twice in the same day. hehe
Granted our financial situation, makes my enjoying movies at the theater a fantasy these days. Thank God for P's coupons!!!!
Tonight Mama Swan is going to see Revolutionary Road with Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio. The last two movies Papa Swan and me saw actually in the theater, was one before Matthew was born, and then ten years ago Titanic. He doesn't like the seating in the theater, and would prefer to watch them at home.
I am so looking forward to being with the girls tonight to see the reunion, in this movie. Their chemistry is unbelievable.
Nothing like that unbridled love to make my Friday night! Not to mention my weekend! Or year!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Remember When Wednesday - Matthew's first Valentine's day, Planning his 6th Birthday Party
The last week, I have been consumed by planning my little guy's sixth birthday party.
How is it possible that he is turning six in just a few weeks...closer to the double digits for the rest of his life?
He is having a Star Wars birthday party this year. Mama Swan found an a inexpensive (compared to the other choices available) way to have his party at a movie theater nearby, with his friends from school and his family. We will have the movie and cake, popcorn and drinks and hopefully the little princess' we are inviting don't get scared.
I chose the original Star Wars from 1977, now called Star Wars IV A New Hope.
How is it possible that he is turning six in just a few weeks...closer to the double digits for the rest of his life?
He is having a Star Wars birthday party this year. Mama Swan found an a inexpensive (compared to the other choices available) way to have his party at a movie theater nearby, with his friends from school and his family. We will have the movie and cake, popcorn and drinks and hopefully the little princess' we are inviting don't get scared.
I chose the original Star Wars from 1977, now called Star Wars IV A New Hope.
(it wouldn't let me copy my cute little clip art from the invitation, but here is an edited version)
A LONG TIME AGO
IN A GALAXY FAR AWAY, ON FEBRUARY 7, 2003,
A BOY OF DESTINY WAS BORN
THIS YOUNG JEDI, MATTHEW
WILL CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHDAY IN A GALAXY NEAR YOU.
PLEASE JOIN US ON FEBRUARY 7, 2009
TO JOIN JEDI MATTHEW AND HIS FRIENDS
AT THE THEATER
FOR STAR WARS IV MOVIE, A NEW HOPE
JOIN US FOR CAKE:
BEFORE THE MOVIE, AT 1:30
WITH THE MOVIE IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING, STARTING NO LATER THAN 2:00.
PLEASE SUBMIT THIS INVITATION TO THE CONCESSION STAND,
AND EACH INVITED JEDI KNIGHT OR PRINCESS WILL RECEIVE A COMPLIMENTARY POPCORN AND DRINK.
PARENTS: THE CONCESSION STAND WILL BE OPEN DURING THE MOVIE – AT ONE DOLLAR AN ITEM.
DUE TO THE SIZE OF THE THEATER, SIBLINGS AND PARENTS ARE WELCOME AND ENCOURAGED TO STAY AND ENJOY THE MOVIE.
Note: There is NO arcade at this location, other than the actual movie theater, so the Jedi’s and Princess’ will remain in the theater.
*** PLEASE RSVP, NO LATER THAN JANUARY 31, 2009 TO THE JEDI’S MOM AT
A LONG TIME AGO
IN A GALAXY FAR AWAY, ON FEBRUARY 7, 2003,
A BOY OF DESTINY WAS BORN
THIS YOUNG JEDI, MATTHEW
WILL CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHDAY IN A GALAXY NEAR YOU.
PLEASE JOIN US ON FEBRUARY 7, 2009
TO JOIN JEDI MATTHEW AND HIS FRIENDS
AT THE THEATER
FOR STAR WARS IV MOVIE, A NEW HOPE
JOIN US FOR CAKE:
BEFORE THE MOVIE, AT 1:30
WITH THE MOVIE IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING, STARTING NO LATER THAN 2:00.
PLEASE SUBMIT THIS INVITATION TO THE CONCESSION STAND,
AND EACH INVITED JEDI KNIGHT OR PRINCESS WILL RECEIVE A COMPLIMENTARY POPCORN AND DRINK.
PARENTS: THE CONCESSION STAND WILL BE OPEN DURING THE MOVIE – AT ONE DOLLAR AN ITEM.
DUE TO THE SIZE OF THE THEATER, SIBLINGS AND PARENTS ARE WELCOME AND ENCOURAGED TO STAY AND ENJOY THE MOVIE.
Note: There is NO arcade at this location, other than the actual movie theater, so the Jedi’s and Princess’ will remain in the theater.
*** PLEASE RSVP, NO LATER THAN JANUARY 31, 2009 TO THE JEDI’S MOM AT
I figured with today's updated technology and violence and even cartoons on Cartoon Network, that this was the best choice. We saw Clone Wars which is the animated cartoon, but it really is more violent than the original movie, in my opinion.
There are a few touchy scenes like the compact garbage scene and the one where Obi wan cuts off a guys arm, but I'm hoping the girls anyway are distracted or something during this (brief few seconds) time. Other moms are assuring me that if the parents think it is scary, then they will take the kid home or out to the lobby for a moment before returning.
The rest of the movie is awesome with R2D2 and C-3P0 and Chewbacca.
Anyway, it's a cold one up here in New England today with only 10 degrees and wind chills below Zero.
We got to go sledding earlier in the week though, so we at least got in our fun outside before this Midwest artic freeze they are calling for the rest of the week, sets in.
I wanted to post pictures of our sledding trip, but my camera is acting up and my friend N, sent them to me in a format, where I can't use them until I order them.
It's hard to believe that Matthew's first Valentine's day in the NICU was six years ago.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Thankful Thursday - Mama Swan Almost Sliding Into Lake, Elmo
Alright....I'm bad when I'm blogging about this, but it was funny.
For the past few weeks, we have been having snow storms, icy conditions, cold temperatures and the usual New England wonderfulness that makes getting out of the house so enjoyable at this time of year. On the sunny days, it's freezing and Mama Swan is a warm weather bird.
Yesterday we had another, and they canceled Matthew's AM kindergarten classes due to the messy conditions.
This morning, was left behind solid ice.
I have a five minute window to get Matthew dressed in his coat and paraphernalia for this weather, putting on his backpack and heading the little penguin up my sidewalk and concrete stairs to the street level to meet the bus.
It isn't like I have to go far.
Today, it might as well have been across town.
As we were heading out the door, I put on my pair of Surell Boots, Papa Swan and I share. They were a gift to me, from him a million moons ago...but he gets more use out of them. I wore his coat, since it was handy and didn't put on gloves (only going up the sidewalk and stairs, why would I need them???)
I told Matthew as we were heading out, be careful...go slow and I'll hold you up and we will hold hands.
Yeah right. He was booking it no problem, saying "Mommy, we can skate!!!!"
I said, "Let's walk in the snow, it's easier to put your foot into it if you stomp hard enough and it will help your balance."
We did and it was easier....
Then we were at the steps that go up to the street.
Matthew had no problem, rushing ahead...while Mama Swan literally was balancing with one finger onto one little patch of rock that wasn't frozen. I couldn't move and I'm yelling to him "Don't go onto that street!!!! If I don't make it up there, you are not getting on the bus!! I need to be up there with you!!! Don't move...get away from the edge of the stairs..stop swaying back and forth!!!!"
All the while I'm trying to find some way to get myself to move up them.
I finally did, but knew if my neighbors are looking out their window right now...they had to be getting the laugh of the morning...seeing me trying to balance on a finger or and almost kill myself.
Earlier in the morning, Matthew got up even earlier with me and I wasn't ready. We put on the end of Sesame Street and I thought I love Elmo...and looked around from a play date earlier in the week, he was still in the living room.
I plopped our Huge Elmo, into the chair next to Matthew and said in a funny voice "Elmo loves Matthew, Can Elmo go to school with Matthew this morning??"
He looked at him and said "NO, ONLY IF HE GETS HIS OWN BUS!!"
Yet, I am not allowed to get rid of him or any other big stuffed animal taking up room in the house. hehe
For the past few weeks, we have been having snow storms, icy conditions, cold temperatures and the usual New England wonderfulness that makes getting out of the house so enjoyable at this time of year. On the sunny days, it's freezing and Mama Swan is a warm weather bird.
Yesterday we had another, and they canceled Matthew's AM kindergarten classes due to the messy conditions.
This morning, was left behind solid ice.
I have a five minute window to get Matthew dressed in his coat and paraphernalia for this weather, putting on his backpack and heading the little penguin up my sidewalk and concrete stairs to the street level to meet the bus.
It isn't like I have to go far.
Today, it might as well have been across town.
As we were heading out the door, I put on my pair of Surell Boots, Papa Swan and I share. They were a gift to me, from him a million moons ago...but he gets more use out of them. I wore his coat, since it was handy and didn't put on gloves (only going up the sidewalk and stairs, why would I need them???)
I told Matthew as we were heading out, be careful...go slow and I'll hold you up and we will hold hands.
Yeah right. He was booking it no problem, saying "Mommy, we can skate!!!!"
I said, "Let's walk in the snow, it's easier to put your foot into it if you stomp hard enough and it will help your balance."
We did and it was easier....
BUT
Then we were at the steps that go up to the street.
Matthew had no problem, rushing ahead...while Mama Swan literally was balancing with one finger onto one little patch of rock that wasn't frozen. I couldn't move and I'm yelling to him "Don't go onto that street!!!! If I don't make it up there, you are not getting on the bus!! I need to be up there with you!!! Don't move...get away from the edge of the stairs..stop swaying back and forth!!!!"
All the while I'm trying to find some way to get myself to move up them.
I finally did, but knew if my neighbors are looking out their window right now...they had to be getting the laugh of the morning...seeing me trying to balance on a finger or and almost kill myself.
Fun, Fun Fun...
Earlier in the morning, Matthew got up even earlier with me and I wasn't ready. We put on the end of Sesame Street and I thought I love Elmo...and looked around from a play date earlier in the week, he was still in the living room.
I plopped our Huge Elmo, into the chair next to Matthew and said in a funny voice "Elmo loves Matthew, Can Elmo go to school with Matthew this morning??"
He looked at him and said "NO, ONLY IF HE GETS HIS OWN BUS!!"
Yet, I am not allowed to get rid of him or any other big stuffed animal taking up room in the house. hehe
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Grandpa Shows Up With Cabbage!!
Last night during dinner, Matthew ran to me and said, "Tell me a story about your mom!"
I said, "You mean when I was little?"
He said, "Yes, Anything!"
I was shocked the way he came up to me and just asked me straight out about her. I told him how she was so beautiful, as I was quickly racking my brain for good memories with her. Due to her illness, my memory isn't the best with the good times, and I don't want him to know that.
So, I told him how she loved to bake and was so beautiful.
I then remembered a funny story but had to alter it a little due to his age.
I told him when his Grandpa met Grandma, he worked on a farm. My father being all Italian in the summer working on the farm, would get very dark. (I left that part out) I told him that Grandpa was so happy to meet Grandma, that one day he brought a head of cabbage to her house.
He knocked on the door and Matthew's Great-Grandmother opened the door in shock!!!
I told Matthew it was due to the size of the cabbage. It was really about the darkness of my father and him standing there at the front door of my Irish Grandmother's house, with that head of cabbage.
It was late 1950's early 1960's! So she was a little shook up!
My Grandmother then ran into the other room, screaming who and why is this man at our door?
I didn't explain this part to Matthew. He was happy with the fact that Grandpa showed up with the cabbage for Grandma!
Part of my resolution this year, is not to feel bad about the past..yet this isn't feeling bad, it's sharing memories.
I always wish Matthew had more people around to say, when your mom was a girl she did this, or your Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle's and cousins did this...
You get the picture....not only his memories yet to be created, but to also have a sense of who we all are, and our memories to help mold his life.
Yesterday and today, I have been back to the routine of school again, as well as the getting up early. I am getting myself up 45 minutes to an hour earlier than him, to have a cup of coffee, wash my face, get dressed and take care of me so I can then tackle him.
My hair is now in layers, and the girl said to get the curly look just let it dry by itself, so I have been letting the back dry and just take care of my bangs.
This morning, after doing my hair.
He looks at me and said "Mommy, your hair is messy still!"
I said, "Hey, I got up early to fix it so it isn't messy honey...this is the style."
He said, "Oh yeah, I like it like that!"
I now have to just go vacuum, play date today with some friends that we miss and I promise I am not cleaning more than that, the bathroom and the kitchen counters!
I have pride!
I said, "You mean when I was little?"
He said, "Yes, Anything!"
I was shocked the way he came up to me and just asked me straight out about her. I told him how she was so beautiful, as I was quickly racking my brain for good memories with her. Due to her illness, my memory isn't the best with the good times, and I don't want him to know that.
So, I told him how she loved to bake and was so beautiful.
I then remembered a funny story but had to alter it a little due to his age.
I told him when his Grandpa met Grandma, he worked on a farm. My father being all Italian in the summer working on the farm, would get very dark. (I left that part out) I told him that Grandpa was so happy to meet Grandma, that one day he brought a head of cabbage to her house.
He knocked on the door and Matthew's Great-Grandmother opened the door in shock!!!
I told Matthew it was due to the size of the cabbage. It was really about the darkness of my father and him standing there at the front door of my Irish Grandmother's house, with that head of cabbage.
It was late 1950's early 1960's! So she was a little shook up!
My Grandmother then ran into the other room, screaming who and why is this man at our door?
I didn't explain this part to Matthew. He was happy with the fact that Grandpa showed up with the cabbage for Grandma!
Part of my resolution this year, is not to feel bad about the past..yet this isn't feeling bad, it's sharing memories.
I always wish Matthew had more people around to say, when your mom was a girl she did this, or your Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle's and cousins did this...
You get the picture....not only his memories yet to be created, but to also have a sense of who we all are, and our memories to help mold his life.
Yesterday and today, I have been back to the routine of school again, as well as the getting up early. I am getting myself up 45 minutes to an hour earlier than him, to have a cup of coffee, wash my face, get dressed and take care of me so I can then tackle him.
My hair is now in layers, and the girl said to get the curly look just let it dry by itself, so I have been letting the back dry and just take care of my bangs.
This morning, after doing my hair.
He looks at me and said "Mommy, your hair is messy still!"
I said, "Hey, I got up early to fix it so it isn't messy honey...this is the style."
He said, "Oh yeah, I like it like that!"
I now have to just go vacuum, play date today with some friends that we miss and I promise I am not cleaning more than that, the bathroom and the kitchen counters!
I have pride!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Satisfying Saturday - Silly I know
But that is how I feel! It's amazing what the phone will do for you!!
By 10:30 am, I had already called two friends and my Aunt Sissy to wish her a HAPPY 81ST BIRTHDAY!!
One of my friends, twinsmom and I haven't had a girls night in a while, so tonight we are doing comedy movie at her house! I am soooo looking forward to it!
By 2:30, I had talked to a few other friends who I had lost touch with over the years, and I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to be able to just hear their voice and to have absolutely no awkward moments in the conversation.
I had also talked to my little brother Phil, catching him up on his nephew's recent Mario antics. We have found a Godfather Mario today online with the music and Mario dressed in Mafia attire shooting the bad guys. The other day we found a Lego video on YouTube (both with Mama Swan's right next to him), of Lego's in concert doing AC/DC TNT and Back In Black!! hysterical!!
It's amazing though after a few phone calls, and numerous emails on that other website I hang out on, what that does for the soul.
It makes me a happier me, a more complete me, which makes for a more complete mom and wife!
It's all just wonderful.
Glad to see I'm sticking to my resolutions!
It's early I know....but things are different!
By 10:30 am, I had already called two friends and my Aunt Sissy to wish her a HAPPY 81ST BIRTHDAY!!
One of my friends, twinsmom and I haven't had a girls night in a while, so tonight we are doing comedy movie at her house! I am soooo looking forward to it!
By 2:30, I had talked to a few other friends who I had lost touch with over the years, and I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to be able to just hear their voice and to have absolutely no awkward moments in the conversation.
I had also talked to my little brother Phil, catching him up on his nephew's recent Mario antics. We have found a Godfather Mario today online with the music and Mario dressed in Mafia attire shooting the bad guys. The other day we found a Lego video on YouTube (both with Mama Swan's right next to him), of Lego's in concert doing AC/DC TNT and Back In Black!! hysterical!!
It's amazing though after a few phone calls, and numerous emails on that other website I hang out on, what that does for the soul.
It makes me a happier me, a more complete me, which makes for a more complete mom and wife!
It's all just wonderful.
Glad to see I'm sticking to my resolutions!
It's early I know....but things are different!
Friday, January 2, 2009
Fantasy Friday - 15 Realistic Goals for 2009
I'm hoping these fantasies will become realities:-) I was going to do one for every week, but only got to 15 before Matthew came and now I have to get off.
Life Goals and/or Family goals (not really in order):
- Get a job part time 30 hours, where I can still work from home, make alot of money and be there for Matthew's care and maybe even enough hours for insurance.
- Quit Smoking as soon as I get a job.
- Make sure that nothing, stands in the way of Matthew enjoying life as the "sponge" he is, while making sure we have enough money to provide him with opportunities/ lessons/teams etc.
- Continue to hit the library for free or discounted passes for Zoo's, museums, and all other cultural advantages for Matthew.
- At least one weekend a month or two at the most, visit cousins in Boston, and his grandparents, so Matthew can continue to have a loving a warm relationship with them.
- Plan his birthday party economically. (already working on this one)
- We are having Easter at our house this year! Invite both sides of the family and plan that dinner!
- At least during vacation time, visit cousins, Uncles and Grandpa in PA and if we have time, our hearts and arms are open to all other visits while there.
- Start Cooking more home made dinners. I got out of the habit when Eric would work late nights and was only cooking for Matthew and me, now hard to get back into it. Need to have my elbow room back.
- Eat Veggies (raw) instead of french fries and snacks. Stop buying them altogether and readjust Matthew's palate to raw healthy food, instead of french fried everything.
- Instead of sending emails...limit my time on computer other than a job and morning blogging, pick up the phone and call friends and family.
- Go to church every week!!!
- In between my new (hopefully) job, blogging, calling people and eating healthy, have friends and family over for games, for dinners, for coffee or tea, for whatever so Matthew can have his friends as well over and experience life on his turf:-)
- Cut down on my cleaning. The above number #13 can't happen if I'm constantly doing laundry, worrying about the counters, the clutter etc..... It's more important that the house be dirty and he have more "fun" than My being overwhelmed with cleaning bathrooms and laundry and making beds...then being so tired...to have anyone over and take a shower, come last and sometimes I'm too tired.
- Make sure that we are eating veggies and healthy so I have more energy.
Might add to this another day....
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Traditional Irish Blessing
I received this absolutely beautiful Irish Blessing today from my irish father-in-law. I wanted to post it on my site, to stay here but don't know how to work flash with blogger yet.
SO, until I do please click on Traditional Irish Blessing and then click start!
What a great way to start the year with the beautiful pictures and music on this card...brought back some memories for Papa Swan and Mama Swan:-)
SO, until I do please click on Traditional Irish Blessing and then click start!
What a great way to start the year with the beautiful pictures and music on this card...brought back some memories for Papa Swan and Mama Swan:-)
Thankful Thursday - First day of 2009
A couple of days ago, I was thinking of having some old friends over with their kids for New Year's eve. Thought it was time and Matthew could play with the kids and stay up late, for his first time.
Due to the snow storm, we got 7 inches yesterday and we're pretty much housebound.
The night before, I was awake all night thinking of things in my head and not being able to fall asleep. One was - about 7 or 8 years ago, we were going to have a New Year's eve party and for some reason, it didn't pan out. I had bought decorations, blowers, hats, those hand things that rattle, balloons etc....
Yesterday afternoon I asked Eric, if he had seen that old bag that we never used. He thought I had thrown it out. We were all down in our basement, with the fire going while Matthew was creating beautiful artwork from his Blendy Pens Santa got him. I looked across the room, and jumping right out at me - was the bag.
We had the best time decorating the basement and having our own little party to decorate and Matthew hung his pictures all over the place, helped me put up streamers.
Eric braved the blizzard to get us Chinese for dinner, and Matthew said "I want to do this every New Years Eve."
Around 8:30, it was time for him to go to bed and I don't know what made me think of it, but am so glad I did.
I said to Papa Swan, "Let's pretend it's midnight with him right now and countdown and wear the stuff and blow those thingamagigs and yell Happy New Year!!" We did..and then we ended Matthew's night with a nice family hug and warm wishes for us and love, hugs and kisses.
Due to the snow storm, we got 7 inches yesterday and we're pretty much housebound.
The night before, I was awake all night thinking of things in my head and not being able to fall asleep. One was - about 7 or 8 years ago, we were going to have a New Year's eve party and for some reason, it didn't pan out. I had bought decorations, blowers, hats, those hand things that rattle, balloons etc....
Yesterday afternoon I asked Eric, if he had seen that old bag that we never used. He thought I had thrown it out. We were all down in our basement, with the fire going while Matthew was creating beautiful artwork from his Blendy Pens Santa got him. I looked across the room, and jumping right out at me - was the bag.
We had the best time decorating the basement and having our own little party to decorate and Matthew hung his pictures all over the place, helped me put up streamers.
Eric braved the blizzard to get us Chinese for dinner, and Matthew said "I want to do this every New Years Eve."
Around 8:30, it was time for him to go to bed and I don't know what made me think of it, but am so glad I did.
I said to Papa Swan, "Let's pretend it's midnight with him right now and countdown and wear the stuff and blow those thingamagigs and yell Happy New Year!!" We did..and then we ended Matthew's night with a nice family hug and warm wishes for us and love, hugs and kisses.
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