This morning I was reading MommyNeedsCoffee. On May 5th she posted a very insightful blog asking for people to mention who the Mom's (as a verb) were in people's lives. It made me think about some important aspects of my life that I try not to remember.
The Hallmark aspect of Mother's Day. I love holidays and always am looking forward to any opportunity to buy a card for someone and in most recent days, have Matthew make them.
When my mother was suffering for so many years from her illness, I didn't always feel that way. There is nothing harder than reading through cards for mom's that go shopping, mom's that are always there in a physical state for their children, mom's that are always there in hard times, mom's that are there in good times. When your mother is lying in a degenerative, deteriorating state of mind and body, for years on end (the last 5-7 out of 25 years), finding those cards was nothing more than needing a phone call to a therapist to put it nicely. I couldn't not buy her a card, because she was still with us, in her physical state...for years it was grieving her of being gone, while she was still with us. The last few years I think I wound up giving her a simple one with flowers on the front with the most minimal message of Happy Mother's Day on the inside, just so she had something from me.
When I was younger I used to write lyrics for expression. One year for my mom's birthday or mother's day, I wrote her a poem/prose that said everything I wanted to say to her. We kept it on the wall of her nursing home room right between the pictures of Matthew, so that when she would lie down on her pillow and stare at that wall, it would be filled with love. Even though we don't know if she even understood the poem when I read it to her, knowing it was there for her was one way for me to ease my mind, like a part of me is there on that wall. Not 350 miles away. That if she just looked that way, and also at Matthew...I was with her.
Unfortunately, on our new computer I don't have my poem...I just realized this morning that the printed copy was placed in her casket with her, so I can't share it for now. I'm not giving up on finding the original on our old computer...don't think it is happening this weekend though.
I have also had the opportunity that due to my mother's state of illness, my father was my rock my whole life. He was both my mother and father and though it wasn't easy, his love and undying support of his children is still always constant. He lost everything financially and emotionally taking care of my mom. Due to the lack of support from the state at the time, he had to be sole caretaker. He didn't have the option to work; he had to always be there. I had moved away, my younger brothers were still there for him, but he always pushed us to move on with our lives. He encouraged us to be happy in our life choices and let us know that my mom wouldn't have wanted it any other way. My younger brother Elvis got married and lives a few towns away...my other brother Gorge just recently moved an hour south. While my father was struggling trying to take care of my mother, losing his home, moving into lower income housing, going from one aide to the next for day time care...we were moving on with our lives. My father couldn't depend on the states inability to provide aides that would take care of her full time. They also were so unfamiliar with her illness that they never stuck around long. They didn't have the training needed to deal with her disease, because it is such a rare disorder and at that time, even rarer. They also couldn't pay him for being the sole caretaker (that law has now changed. thank God). My father would take her for rides in the car so she could see the world, take her for ice cream and milk shakes, for hot dogs and buttermilk in NJ, for rides to MA up until it got too much and that was only if his car at the time could handle the trip.
I just wanted to briefly give a glimpse into why my father is my rock and is my "mom" as the verb and to say Thank You Dad!!! I don't know how I'd survive without you. I wouldn't be here. All your children wouldn't be here. We each face rough roads ahead of us and you did the best you could under the circumstances. You did all of it alone too with no outside support from other family members or anyone just coming in to give you a 5 minute break. You did it all with us all moving on with our lives and due to that I married Eric and now have a beautiful son, Matthew. You have 3 beautiful grand-children that Mommy would be (and is from up above) so proud of. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for having the strength, the courage, the determination, the un-selfishness in your heart, the sticking - to -it (so many other men would have left along time ago), the love. I thank you also from Mommy, because she would want me to. To let you know that your love and un-selfish acts is what got her the care she needed, and in the long run the nursing home and you did it all with no instruction manual, no society stepping in to offer support...you did it all by yourself and for so long. Allot of people say that you will be a saint when you get to heaven. I agree with them and love you so much. Happy Mother/Father's Day. Oh and Happy Birthday too...
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
Matthew's RSV & Fantasy Friday - My Mother's day wish & what I want for him in life
Just when I think I will be deleting my blog, Matthew goes and says something and makes me want to share it again with the world.
Matthew and I returned from PA on Tuesday night with him having the beginning of allergies/cold. It has been a week of runny noses and coughs and last night I had to give him his nebulizer due to his raspy & rapid breathing. He wants to go out and play so bad and the weather has been so nice, but his breathing scares me when he gets that bad. It brings me right back to him being 18 months old in PA when I had to take him to the hospital.
It was August and we had been visiting my family and he was taking a nap. He developed a 104 fever and was just in his little diaper when I was looking at the fast beating of his chest. It scared me because it had never happened before. I took him to the emergency room where they held him down to give him a nebulizer treatment and then showed me how I would have to do it with him. He was terrified of them and they wound up admitting him for 3 days and explaining he had RSV. At the time, I wound up having Eric drive down to PA to be with us because I didn't know how bad or what we were facing. As soon as Daddy got there, he was the only one to get Matthew to calmly let us give him, his nebulizer treatments....he told him "Let's just breathe in the mist"..and they sat on the chair in the room. Matthew let Daddy do it and felt at ease with him being there and with him holding him and comforting him. When he got released we wound up following each other back to MA. Matthew had to use the nebulizer for every sneeze/cold/cough up to 3 years old. The doctor then told me that he really only needed after that when I felt it was needed, which it seems is worse with his seasonal allergies.
Last night though, it really didn't seem to relieve him, so I am keeping an eye on him and trying to keep him from getting excited. I think I am going to have to ask the doctor about what's next? Do they give him an inhaler for on the go or at the playground? We can't always be staying calm in the house under house protection.
My brother Gorge had asthma his entire life. It kept him from being able to do so much and was always having asthma attacks and being taken to the hospital. I really hope and pray that Matthew's doesn't get that severe.
I was kind of afraid to blog all week. My time in PA was bittersweet. I got to see my immediate family but I think due to Matthew's beginning of not feeling well, I wasn't able to witness my niece’s communion (and I forgot my digital card for my camera). He had a little meltdown, to put it nicely. I had to leave the church for the whole ceremony. After having a talk with him, he promised that he would behave a few hours later at the party. Didn't happen. He was crawling under tables through people's feet of people he doesn't even know, running around the restaurant and not listening to me etc. He loved playing with his little cousin J, but it was more than that. The bold side of him took over. When he was just with little J, he was a sweetheart...one second playing peek-a-boo with her, the next grunting to me and running like a madman with no care for anyone in his way..he would go from sweet little angel...to sweet little madman...in seconds.
The next day Grandpa & I took him to visit the most unbelievable train yard and to a playground so he could work off his steam. The following morning when he started coughing/runny nose, I said...ok...let's get home now, before this gets out of control.
Mommy's tired and a little emotionally drained. I was considering deleting my blog because I have begun to realize that I have un-clogged most of my brain now...and am starting to see things alot clearer now that my head isn't in a fog and I have started to categorize some of my issues. My dream is to have my reality be what my blog represents , my family being happy and healthy and that not only is our son our main goal in life, but that we walk the walk...he is smart enough now to know better. I can't just put out a blog with all of the places I'd like us to visit or what I feel is important in making a family a success, if it doesn't start with us. Another reason I am considering deleting my blog, is honestly, I can't be as honest as I'd like. I know some people think I'm too honest and wear my heart on my sleeve, but I think it is because they feel threatened. Like I'm going to divulge some deep family secret. I'm not that evil and shallow. I am my son's mom. I'm trying to live a happy life with my family and expect the people in my life to live up to their end of the bargain. Everyone plays a part and each part is really tattered these days in what is important for me trying to raise my son. I want him to learn by examples, not by falsities or fake acts that don't match the words behind them or vice versa. Basic lessons I'm learning these days: If you want friends, you have to be a friend, If you want love and respect, you have to give love and respect, If you want happiness, you have to give happiness, If you want a complete circle of fulfillment, you have to work together as a team to make it work...in all aspects of what you feel are important. If there is no team work, there is no team. I want my son to have a family team, I'm blogging about it because I'm hoping and praying that if all members of the team know what I'm looking for that it will come back to me. Not just for Mother's Day, but everyday. Mother's day for me is every day with Matthew. I want him to learn by experiences and examples and I pray that he lives a long healthy well balanced life of self-esteem, loving, kind, sensitive, caring, compassionate, passionate life for everything that is important in this life outside of material goals.
On a funny note: What got me started on this today in the first place....he ran up to me and said hug me mommy!!! You are SO WARM AND COMFORTABLE!!! I said..ok Mommy has to blog that....but you know me..start typing and next thing you know...
Matthew and I returned from PA on Tuesday night with him having the beginning of allergies/cold. It has been a week of runny noses and coughs and last night I had to give him his nebulizer due to his raspy & rapid breathing. He wants to go out and play so bad and the weather has been so nice, but his breathing scares me when he gets that bad. It brings me right back to him being 18 months old in PA when I had to take him to the hospital.
It was August and we had been visiting my family and he was taking a nap. He developed a 104 fever and was just in his little diaper when I was looking at the fast beating of his chest. It scared me because it had never happened before. I took him to the emergency room where they held him down to give him a nebulizer treatment and then showed me how I would have to do it with him. He was terrified of them and they wound up admitting him for 3 days and explaining he had RSV. At the time, I wound up having Eric drive down to PA to be with us because I didn't know how bad or what we were facing. As soon as Daddy got there, he was the only one to get Matthew to calmly let us give him, his nebulizer treatments....he told him "Let's just breathe in the mist"..and they sat on the chair in the room. Matthew let Daddy do it and felt at ease with him being there and with him holding him and comforting him. When he got released we wound up following each other back to MA. Matthew had to use the nebulizer for every sneeze/cold/cough up to 3 years old. The doctor then told me that he really only needed after that when I felt it was needed, which it seems is worse with his seasonal allergies.
Last night though, it really didn't seem to relieve him, so I am keeping an eye on him and trying to keep him from getting excited. I think I am going to have to ask the doctor about what's next? Do they give him an inhaler for on the go or at the playground? We can't always be staying calm in the house under house protection.
My brother Gorge had asthma his entire life. It kept him from being able to do so much and was always having asthma attacks and being taken to the hospital. I really hope and pray that Matthew's doesn't get that severe.
I was kind of afraid to blog all week. My time in PA was bittersweet. I got to see my immediate family but I think due to Matthew's beginning of not feeling well, I wasn't able to witness my niece’s communion (and I forgot my digital card for my camera). He had a little meltdown, to put it nicely. I had to leave the church for the whole ceremony. After having a talk with him, he promised that he would behave a few hours later at the party. Didn't happen. He was crawling under tables through people's feet of people he doesn't even know, running around the restaurant and not listening to me etc. He loved playing with his little cousin J, but it was more than that. The bold side of him took over. When he was just with little J, he was a sweetheart...one second playing peek-a-boo with her, the next grunting to me and running like a madman with no care for anyone in his way..he would go from sweet little angel...to sweet little madman...in seconds.
The next day Grandpa & I took him to visit the most unbelievable train yard and to a playground so he could work off his steam. The following morning when he started coughing/runny nose, I said...ok...let's get home now, before this gets out of control.
Mommy's tired and a little emotionally drained. I was considering deleting my blog because I have begun to realize that I have un-clogged most of my brain now...and am starting to see things alot clearer now that my head isn't in a fog and I have started to categorize some of my issues. My dream is to have my reality be what my blog represents , my family being happy and healthy and that not only is our son our main goal in life, but that we walk the walk...he is smart enough now to know better. I can't just put out a blog with all of the places I'd like us to visit or what I feel is important in making a family a success, if it doesn't start with us. Another reason I am considering deleting my blog, is honestly, I can't be as honest as I'd like. I know some people think I'm too honest and wear my heart on my sleeve, but I think it is because they feel threatened. Like I'm going to divulge some deep family secret. I'm not that evil and shallow. I am my son's mom. I'm trying to live a happy life with my family and expect the people in my life to live up to their end of the bargain. Everyone plays a part and each part is really tattered these days in what is important for me trying to raise my son. I want him to learn by examples, not by falsities or fake acts that don't match the words behind them or vice versa. Basic lessons I'm learning these days: If you want friends, you have to be a friend, If you want love and respect, you have to give love and respect, If you want happiness, you have to give happiness, If you want a complete circle of fulfillment, you have to work together as a team to make it work...in all aspects of what you feel are important. If there is no team work, there is no team. I want my son to have a family team, I'm blogging about it because I'm hoping and praying that if all members of the team know what I'm looking for that it will come back to me. Not just for Mother's Day, but everyday. Mother's day for me is every day with Matthew. I want him to learn by experiences and examples and I pray that he lives a long healthy well balanced life of self-esteem, loving, kind, sensitive, caring, compassionate, passionate life for everything that is important in this life outside of material goals.
On a funny note: What got me started on this today in the first place....he ran up to me and said hug me mommy!!! You are SO WARM AND COMFORTABLE!!! I said..ok Mommy has to blog that....but you know me..start typing and next thing you know...
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Head Spinning Thursday- Preschool, The Mall & Missing My Girlie Side
I didn't think I would be able to blog today!!
I am only going to have a second to blog. Matthew fell asleep today on the way home from the mall, but he just woke up as he heard the typing from all the way upstairs. hehe
We had an appointment today with a woman from a local preschool. We were concerned about some of his mixed consonant sounds. I was sure that once he is in school around kids all day, that it was something he would outgrow. According to the woman, she agrees. She said it is appropriate to his age and that she had no problem understanding him. If come September or October, we want to have him re-evaluated, we are more than welcome to at that time. I'm not concerned. I had a lisp in first grade that I had to have help with. He (at this point) doesn't have a lisp, but more mispronouncing words...like fray for play, or t's instead of a hard C or K like tar instead of car or tat instead of cat. I am thankful that he was seen anyway though, just to ease our minds. He was accepted at that preschool for 3 mornings starting in the fall....yeah!!!
When we left the school, he wanted to go to the mall and Mommy didn't fight him because I needed something nice and up to date to wear to my niece's Holy Communion. He promised me he would be good.
Last time I took him to this 3 story mall was before Christmas. He pulled a tantrum on me about not wanting to leave and threw himself in front of my legs as I was coming off of an escalator. Not only did I almost fall on him, but older people sitting on a bench were looking at me like don't I know how to keep my son under control. I'm sure they weren't thinking that, but mom's out there, you know the look I mean. Just when you are having a really hard time, they are looking at you and not smiling either and they always seem to be in the same place as you are when you are having a bad moment.
So my heart was panicking before we even got to the mall today remembering our last trip. I didn't remind him of it, just told him that he needed to listen to me, stay out from under all the clothing racks and that we would visit the puppies, have lunch and go on his rides (money operated ride-on toys in food court) and then come home and pack for PA.
He was doing good, considering Mommy hasn't shopped for herself in a mall in probably a year. I usually will go to TJMaxx and just buy the one thing I need in my size and hope and pray it fits when I get home. I just never make the time to go clothes shopping for myself when Eric gets home at night or on the weekends. That's my fault. I could take off for an hour or two to specifically update my yucky wardrobe, but I'm usually cleaning or doing something else. I need to make an effort and promise Eric I won't break the bank.
I think I've saved him alot of money over the last 4 years on my wardrobe alone. It's something when you aren't headed out to the office everyday, your life has become sweats, jeans and sneakers. I wore pantyhose on Easter and Matthew couldn't get over them. He had never seen them on me before. I used to have a million pairs in my drawers and a million skirts and girlie things too but I have become so used to dressing quickly and without effort I have to re-learn my girlie side again. Not that I'll be wearing pantyhose to the park, but maybe a nice pink pair of Capri's with my toe nails painted pink and some pink earrings. Can you tell I'm missing my pink side?
Yesterday's blog was for my husband (obviously). I thought he would get a kick out of it and it might warm his heart. He said "It was good, Although I didn't get the prince, princess and the king part".....huh???? I told him that is also my girlie side...the little girl in me who never wants to give up the fairytale if even if it is just in my head while I'm blogging. I wanted him to know that was literally how I saw our meeting. That I still am that little girl who dreamed of walking down the aisle in her white gown...even though it already happened. I guess it is just another part of being a girl that you don't lose.
Well, we have mounds of packing to do, so you might not hear from me for a few days. All 2 of you....and who knows maybe you might.
Aren't you glad I only had a second today to blog?
I am only going to have a second to blog. Matthew fell asleep today on the way home from the mall, but he just woke up as he heard the typing from all the way upstairs. hehe
We had an appointment today with a woman from a local preschool. We were concerned about some of his mixed consonant sounds. I was sure that once he is in school around kids all day, that it was something he would outgrow. According to the woman, she agrees. She said it is appropriate to his age and that she had no problem understanding him. If come September or October, we want to have him re-evaluated, we are more than welcome to at that time. I'm not concerned. I had a lisp in first grade that I had to have help with. He (at this point) doesn't have a lisp, but more mispronouncing words...like fray for play, or t's instead of a hard C or K like tar instead of car or tat instead of cat. I am thankful that he was seen anyway though, just to ease our minds. He was accepted at that preschool for 3 mornings starting in the fall....yeah!!!
When we left the school, he wanted to go to the mall and Mommy didn't fight him because I needed something nice and up to date to wear to my niece's Holy Communion. He promised me he would be good.
Last time I took him to this 3 story mall was before Christmas. He pulled a tantrum on me about not wanting to leave and threw himself in front of my legs as I was coming off of an escalator. Not only did I almost fall on him, but older people sitting on a bench were looking at me like don't I know how to keep my son under control. I'm sure they weren't thinking that, but mom's out there, you know the look I mean. Just when you are having a really hard time, they are looking at you and not smiling either and they always seem to be in the same place as you are when you are having a bad moment.
So my heart was panicking before we even got to the mall today remembering our last trip. I didn't remind him of it, just told him that he needed to listen to me, stay out from under all the clothing racks and that we would visit the puppies, have lunch and go on his rides (money operated ride-on toys in food court) and then come home and pack for PA.
He was doing good, considering Mommy hasn't shopped for herself in a mall in probably a year. I usually will go to TJMaxx and just buy the one thing I need in my size and hope and pray it fits when I get home. I just never make the time to go clothes shopping for myself when Eric gets home at night or on the weekends. That's my fault. I could take off for an hour or two to specifically update my yucky wardrobe, but I'm usually cleaning or doing something else. I need to make an effort and promise Eric I won't break the bank.
I think I've saved him alot of money over the last 4 years on my wardrobe alone. It's something when you aren't headed out to the office everyday, your life has become sweats, jeans and sneakers. I wore pantyhose on Easter and Matthew couldn't get over them. He had never seen them on me before. I used to have a million pairs in my drawers and a million skirts and girlie things too but I have become so used to dressing quickly and without effort I have to re-learn my girlie side again. Not that I'll be wearing pantyhose to the park, but maybe a nice pink pair of Capri's with my toe nails painted pink and some pink earrings. Can you tell I'm missing my pink side?
Yesterday's blog was for my husband (obviously). I thought he would get a kick out of it and it might warm his heart. He said "It was good, Although I didn't get the prince, princess and the king part".....huh???? I told him that is also my girlie side...the little girl in me who never wants to give up the fairytale if even if it is just in my head while I'm blogging. I wanted him to know that was literally how I saw our meeting. That I still am that little girl who dreamed of walking down the aisle in her white gown...even though it already happened. I guess it is just another part of being a girl that you don't lose.
Well, we have mounds of packing to do, so you might not hear from me for a few days. All 2 of you....and who knows maybe you might.
Aren't you glad I only had a second today to blog?
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Remember When Wednesday - Once Upon A Time
As Matthew would say...Punce pupon a time...
In 1986, there was a prince who was in Wildwood, NJ with friends. There was a princess who was also down there with friends from PA and happened to be staying in the same hotel. One night the Prince saw this beautiful maiden going out on a date with another Prince she met on the beach that day. He called her over to him to see if he could entice her with his blue eyes. It worked. The Princess couldn't wait for her dark haired brown eyed lobster treating guy to bring her back to her hotel, so she could see that other prince again....He was having a "ball" in his hotel room with "fine drinks" AKA...a party with lots of beer with everyone and anyone that wanted to come.
Well, another princess got to him first that night and so the beautiful maiden went back to her room and sulked all night long.
The next day, the beautiful princess' hand maiden (also known as best friend K) said Hey! The heck with that guy! Let's go down to the beach...there's a million other princes to choose from.
We went down to the beach that was as packed as sardines and who do we set up our beach towel next to, but that same blue eyed prince charming from the night before. He was with his friends. The beautiful Princess and him started talking, playing Frisbee and just really hit it off.
It was the most romantic moment of my life. This princess grew up watching fairy tales and musicals and old movies with happy endings and this prince from a far away land who was 7 years older than her, with the most mesmerizing blue eyes really went right to her young 18 year old heart. That night, they walked on the beach with his jeans cuffed and she being an ankle princess (that's right! And I'm Proud!), loved his ankles as he walked along the night time surf on the sand with her that night. She listened to him with his funny accent. He had a hard time saying "r's"....come to think of it he still does. Finally at that moment, they sat up in this lifeguard chair and had their first kiss with the black ocean in front of them and the lights and sounds of the boardwalk behind them. This prince was very charming, sincere and light hearted and he had a wonderful sense of humor. He was also very worldly to the princess. He had just got back from Aruba, was in NJ, lived in Boston and was thinking of going to Europe. He was so important and yet so loving and gentle, that the princess was mesmerized from that moment on.
They only spent 3 days together before both of their vacations were over and they would leave each other. The princess never cried so hard in her life. She lived in a far away place with mountains and this prince being so much older than her and more worldly would surely forget all about her and she would never see him ever again. When she got back to her castle, the King asked her why she was so distraught. She couldn't even talk about the prince she met without breaking down crying, to even explain to her father about the wonderful moment she had. He was concerned because he thought something more terrible had happened. It wasn't until 3 days after returning home, when the princess got in the mail a postcard from her prince. It was a picture of Boston that said how much he enjoyed meeting me...and that he had a super dooper looper time! And how he missed me already and that whenever he heard the song "Take My Breath Away" he would think of me. It had been playing from my Top Gun Soundtrack cassette the whole time together.
That prince wanted the princess to come and visit him in the big city, but the king disapproved of his age and his worldly ways and said "If that prince wants to see you, he has to come here first to meet me, before you would go to see him".
Well, 4 years later, after many letters and birthday cards and phone calls from the prince, the princess finally said "Hey King! I'm over 21!!, I'm going to the far away land of Boston!!"
Story for another day of how I got up here, it would ruin the fairytaleness of my story.
When the princess and the prince saw each other for the first time at the Greyhound Station in Boston after 4 years, we immediately picked right up where we had left off. The attraction between us was unbelievable. He decided instead of staying at his castle, we would rent a hotel room to mix with the peasants and he would show me around Boston. He was so excited to show her everything from Fanuill Hall to Hard Rock, to Government Center to the John Hancock Building...we did it all and we only had a weekend before the princess had to return to her father, The King.
The Princess also had a run in with a former (although she wasn't aware she was a former) princess that weekend at a Blues Bar. That princess pushed the prince off a bar stool after punching him. It just made the weekend between the prince and princess more exciting like fugitives. She just wanted to protect him all the more from that other horrible punching princess and the rest of the world that would dare to harm or hurt her wonderful new man.
So, a few weeks later, she came up for another weekend and then he came to PA with his brother for a weekend to meet the king. That's when he told her that he loved her and that he wanted her to move up there with him. That he knew that she loved Boston and him too and that they could be together . So with out any further courting involved, the princess told the king that - (sigh) she would be leaving to go to this new world. He was happy for her as long as she was happy, but when the prince showed up on June 30, 1990 with his other brother and a truck, he wasn't letting her go that easy. The prince assured him, to not worry dear King that "I will take good care of her for you". The King looked at the princess in her black spandex tight shorts and her white tank top and said "If He Isn't, you just let me know and I'll find a truck somehow to come and get you".
They lived together for 5 years before getting married in 1995 in a beautiful ceremony in February with 70 degree weather on a sunny day, a church where President Kennedy was baptized in Brookline and a reception on the top floor of a building overlooking the Charles River in Boston at sunset. Her maidens' wore red velvet with muffs instead of flowers while the brides men and the Prince wore morning coats. They had a trolley for there guests to escort them around Boston to and from the reception and Church. The rehearsal dinner was at The Bull & Finch (above Cheers on Boston Common). They had the most beautiful honeymoon in Cancun and now make there home on a lake in MA.....with the most beautiful prince Charming walking in his dad's footsteps and his mom's hugs and kisses.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
First Steps For All Of Us
For Matthew to give away his baby toy's has been a struggle for me, up to this point. Whenever I bring up to him little children who don't have any, he always stood fast in the fact that he wasn't done with them yet.
Well, we took our first step. Or should I say, Daddy did. I am so proud.
Over the weekend, our neighbor who has a little girl just over a year was outside and Matthew gave her his baby buggy (little car with long handle that we pushed him in). I think because he is all grown up now. Daddy told him that he has a real car that he does doughnuts in the front yard in and so now he is a big boy. Coming from him, he wants to be like his Dad and show the world that he is all boy and that yeah! He doesn't need that baby car anymore!
I had no idea of the transaction that took place, as I was in the house. Later in the day we were outside and I hear this buggy coming up the road and thought to myself "Boy that loud thing sounds like Matthew's old car". Next thing I know everyone is out and he is asking the baby how she likes her car and kissing her and showing her how to beep it and putting little rocks in her front compartment. That's when my husband explained, Yeah...We gave it to her earlier this morning. Like no big deal, he does these things all the time. It was a first for him, as well.
I think letting go of Matthew's buggy is a big step for both of us. Neither of us, want to see our little baby grow up. Although Eric will argue that to him, Matthew isn't a baby anymore, Mommy tells him when he is 100 years old, he will always be my baby. Just as much as we love the baby in him, we love each new stage and revel in his new achievements or new loves and new discoveries.
This past week, I got him a book at the library called "I Can Do It Myself". It is a Sesame Street simple book that I knew he would love. He has been asserting himself with getting his own snacks, cleaning up trash, putting things in the sink for a long time now. It is my fault that we don't have a routine for getting out of the house everyday. I really have to start stressing to him, lightly though that he needs to start doing more like getting himself dressed. He can do it. It is just that I have, just out of habit I think, been doing it for him. It isn't til I see someone like his little girlfriend Princess N come over and go in the bathroom with her change of clothes and then it's like, Oh Yeah!! Oops...Mommy!!! Why don't I have him doing that everyday? I know she is in day care/preschool and everyday of her life she has a routine, so that helps. But I also know that it is my job now and that all I have to do is to just ease him into it and reward him for it...just like I did to potty train him last summer.
So yesterday we started and he got this horrible little bulldog with a chain link coller tattoo that Daddy bought him for Easter as his reward. Granted, my little sensitive man (after Mommy's heart) cried during most of the process you would have thought I was asking him to jump off a cliff instead of putting his arm through his sleeve, but I just held firm...monotone voice, telling him that no one ever got boo boos from putting their arms through their sleeves. Oh, How Hard it was for me, listening to him say, Mommy just help me??? Like I was just letting him be sad...but for once Mommy's brains worked instead of my heart and I said "Honey, Mommy is helping you right now by not doing it for you". (sigh)
It's hard being the only one to handle every decision in someones little life, while trying to keep up a house and everything else that being a stay at home mom entails. Sometimes I do need a little nice guidance like hey....how about this? But in a way that is helpful and not like what are you stupid for not trying this?
Today we are going to take it easy and enjoy the nice weather and go to the playground. I have alot of packing on my mind this week, so I might be a little distracted. Today I was burning some cd's for our drive. Yesterday he was dancing to some AC/DC with Mommy so I thought, ok, well bring AC/DC for the drive to PA...mental note to mom along with some Pat Benatar, some 3 Doors Down, some Peter Frampton...etc..etc...etc...
Well, we took our first step. Or should I say, Daddy did. I am so proud.
Over the weekend, our neighbor who has a little girl just over a year was outside and Matthew gave her his baby buggy (little car with long handle that we pushed him in). I think because he is all grown up now. Daddy told him that he has a real car that he does doughnuts in the front yard in and so now he is a big boy. Coming from him, he wants to be like his Dad and show the world that he is all boy and that yeah! He doesn't need that baby car anymore!
I had no idea of the transaction that took place, as I was in the house. Later in the day we were outside and I hear this buggy coming up the road and thought to myself "Boy that loud thing sounds like Matthew's old car". Next thing I know everyone is out and he is asking the baby how she likes her car and kissing her and showing her how to beep it and putting little rocks in her front compartment. That's when my husband explained, Yeah...We gave it to her earlier this morning. Like no big deal, he does these things all the time. It was a first for him, as well.
I think letting go of Matthew's buggy is a big step for both of us. Neither of us, want to see our little baby grow up. Although Eric will argue that to him, Matthew isn't a baby anymore, Mommy tells him when he is 100 years old, he will always be my baby. Just as much as we love the baby in him, we love each new stage and revel in his new achievements or new loves and new discoveries.
This past week, I got him a book at the library called "I Can Do It Myself". It is a Sesame Street simple book that I knew he would love. He has been asserting himself with getting his own snacks, cleaning up trash, putting things in the sink for a long time now. It is my fault that we don't have a routine for getting out of the house everyday. I really have to start stressing to him, lightly though that he needs to start doing more like getting himself dressed. He can do it. It is just that I have, just out of habit I think, been doing it for him. It isn't til I see someone like his little girlfriend Princess N come over and go in the bathroom with her change of clothes and then it's like, Oh Yeah!! Oops...Mommy!!! Why don't I have him doing that everyday? I know she is in day care/preschool and everyday of her life she has a routine, so that helps. But I also know that it is my job now and that all I have to do is to just ease him into it and reward him for it...just like I did to potty train him last summer.
So yesterday we started and he got this horrible little bulldog with a chain link coller tattoo that Daddy bought him for Easter as his reward. Granted, my little sensitive man (after Mommy's heart) cried during most of the process you would have thought I was asking him to jump off a cliff instead of putting his arm through his sleeve, but I just held firm...monotone voice, telling him that no one ever got boo boos from putting their arms through their sleeves. Oh, How Hard it was for me, listening to him say, Mommy just help me??? Like I was just letting him be sad...but for once Mommy's brains worked instead of my heart and I said "Honey, Mommy is helping you right now by not doing it for you". (sigh)
It's hard being the only one to handle every decision in someones little life, while trying to keep up a house and everything else that being a stay at home mom entails. Sometimes I do need a little nice guidance like hey....how about this? But in a way that is helpful and not like what are you stupid for not trying this?
Today we are going to take it easy and enjoy the nice weather and go to the playground. I have alot of packing on my mind this week, so I might be a little distracted. Today I was burning some cd's for our drive. Yesterday he was dancing to some AC/DC with Mommy so I thought, ok, well bring AC/DC for the drive to PA...mental note to mom along with some Pat Benatar, some 3 Doors Down, some Peter Frampton...etc..etc...etc...
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