Fantasy Friday - 15 Realistic Goals for 2009

I'm hoping these fantasies will become realities:-) I was going to do one for every week, but only got to 15 before Matthew came and now I have to get off.

Life Goals and/or Family goals (not really in order):

1. Get a job part time 30 hours, where I can still work from home, make alot of money and be there for Matthew's care and maybe even enough hours for insurance.
2. Quit Smoking as soon as I get a job.
3. Make sure that nothing, stands in the way of Matthew enjoying life as the "sponge" he is, while making sure we have enough money to provide him with opportunities/ lessons/teams etc.
4. Continue to hit the library for free or discounted passes for Zoo's, museums, and all other cultural advantages for Matthew.
5. At least one weekend a month or two at the most, visit cousins in Boston, and his grandparents, so Matthew can continue to have a loving a warm relationship with them.
6. Plan his birthday party economically. (already working on this one)
7. We are having Easter at our house this year! Invite both sides of the family and plan that dinner!
8. At least during vacation time, visit cousins, Uncles and Grandpa in PA and if we have time, our hearts and arms are open to all other visits while there.
9. Start Cooking more home made dinners. I got out of the habit when Eric would work late nights and was only cooking for Matthew and me, now hard to get back into it. Need to have my elbow room back.
10. Eat Veggies (raw) instead of french fries and snacks. Stop buying them altogether and readjust Matthew's palate to raw healthy food, instead of french fried everything.
11. Instead of sending emails...limit my time on computer other than a job and morning blogging, pick up the phone and call friends and family.
12. Go to church every week!!!
13. In between my new (hopefully) job, blogging, calling people and eating healthy, have friends and family over for games, for dinners, for coffee or tea, for whatever so Matthew can have his friends as well over and experience life on his turf:-)
14. Cut down on my cleaning. The above number #13 can't happen if I'm constantly doing laundry, worrying about the counters, the clutter etc..... It's more important that the house be dirty and he have more "fun" than My being overwhelmed with cleaning bathrooms and laundry and making beds...then being so tired...to have anyone over and take a shower, come last and sometimes I'm too tired.
15. Make sure that we are eating veggies and healthy so I have more energy.

Might add to this another day....

Fantasy/Reality Friday - Quips from Matthew and playdate with friends

We had the wonderful occasion this week, to have two awesome play dates. The things that make me happy.

Not only did Matthew get along awesome with his friends R and D, this week..but Mama Swan was having a good time too with "her" friends, and got to hold a beautiful and sweet four month old baby for 4 hours this week.

I used to post Matthew's wonderful quips every week, and I have been slacking to say the least.

Here are some from this week:

1. Mommy, You are the most beautiful Mommy in the whole world, MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN A DINOSAUR.


2. (After taking him to visit Santa at Bass Pro Shops)- Mommy, I don't think there is a Santa Claus (after we had just wrote his list).....my jaw dropping and trying to pick myself off the floor asked him why he would say this? BECAUSE HE DROVE A TRUCK TO BASS PRO SHOPS.


3. I want to be a big brother. Why don't you have a girl, so I can have a sister.


4. My Lego Tower is going to be Eleven Feet High.


5. How Old is Grandpa P? After I told him, he said "I THINK HE IS 44."


6. Going out to the bus this morning, he was dilly dallying on the front porch and yelling ahead to me, What is Grandpa P's First Name? What is Grandpa K's First Name? Where is Grandma P? (I reminded him she is in Heaven and that she is his angel)....HE YELLED TO ME, AND DIDN'T MOVE OFF THE STEP......................I WANT TO PRAY TO HER RIGHT NOW.

And in other wonderful moments, thank you to D's mom, she sent me a beautiful picture of Matthew's creation yesterday. He literally can just live there now, due to D and his wonderful toys:-)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN & Fantasy Friday KISS DID do Halloween Special that I remembered as a child.

Mama Swan is so proud of herself.

This morning I was thinking okay....blog about Halloween, about something related to Fantasy Friday......the wheels are turning.

Last year or the year before, I blogged about my favorite show when I was a child, growing up in the 70's, was H.R. Puffinstuff I loved Witchypoo and all of the other characters.

At Halloween one year, it stained my memory for years of the band KISS at the time that played on what I thought was that show.

Thanks to the internet, my brain is now cleared....it was a Halloween Special with Paul Lynde. Witchypoo was on it....but SO WAS KISS.

At the time, they sang the song "Beth" which was appropriate for viewing audiences at the time, not to mention their makeup went with the Halloween ambiance.

I wish they would put this stuff on tv now......The Kroft Shows were classic....along with Saturday Morning Sigmund and The Seamonsters.

So much better viewing than The Power Rangers, or Pokemon. (Shhhh...Don't tell Matthew I said that.)

It was wholesome.

Why can't they be more creative these days? Although it is funny now, to watch even the old Godzilla movies or Sinbad and the Sailor (which I loved), okay...not so scary anymore...

BUT ONCE UPON A TIME......THEY WERE.

That is because now....it takes alot to scare due to what kids are used to.

I myself am victim of letting Matthew watch Spiderman movies, Batman movies and even Jurrasic Park....but with Mommy there...even though he doesn't even blink an eye at what would make me blink.

He is all boy and relishes anything with a villian that the good guy could get.

I just miss the more mushy, bad guys like the sleestacks in Land Of The Lost.

Oh well...at least now thanks to YouTube and other internet wonders, I can watch Puff In Stuff and smile:-)

Have a Wonderful Halloween!!

Fantasy Friday - From April 2007 became a reality over the summer

I want to get back to my weekly postings where I have a theme for some days of the week.

I was reading my post from April 27, 2007, where I was daydreaming about a waterfall area in PA, that I would love to get back to some day.

Well, over the summer Matthew and I went there.

Not only have they built a wonderful tree top bridge to view the falls, but also you can walk down into them again. This time safely with fencing around them, so no accidents happen.

visited waterfall in PA with Matthew - check!!

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

When you live so close to the Patriots, it's hard not to get excited when they have their second preseason game tonight. I am hoping maybe this year will be different again and I'll get to watch more, get to maybe even go to a game or get to have a few Patriot parties.

I have loved Tom Brady ever since that first Indianapolis game where he stood in for Drew Bledsloe and with a score of 44-10. And then he took off his helmet and I liked him even more.

Good Luck Patriots!!!!

Fantasy Friday - REALITY WITH BEST FRIENDS

LONG TIME COMING...

WE HAD THE BEST DAY TODAY WITH OLD FRIENDS AND THIS IS JUST THE FIRST PIC...MORE COMING LATER...STAY TUNED...

Fantasy Friday - Another Fantasy Now A Reality

For years now I have dreaded Matthew playing in his own yard with little friends, because of how unsafe it is. Matthew is used to it being his own yard but Mommy is always a nervous wreck anyway due to us being on the lake and the yard not being fenced in or landscaped and safe to fall down on.

Today the twins came for a much missed out on play date. We were going to go to the beach across from us on the lake, but decided due to the weather we would have them come to play inside instead.

Well with a little hesitation at first by me, they went around back and played with Matthew's sand toys, next they were playing with his play set that Daddy is almost finished with. I brought out his kitchen set and table for his friends and with a little lunch in between, both kids and Mommy's had an awesome time!!!

I can't believe it has taken me this long to be able to sigh and sit down in my backyard on a chair and watch my son happily play with his friends. He was still my little wild Spiderman, but mostly he stayed within bounds and they all really played nice.

I can't wait to do it again.

Tomorrow Princess N is coming with her brother and we will be going to the zoo for a few hours, so Matthew is in his glory.

Three girls in 48 hours.

FANTASY FRIDAY - BECOMING REALITY

Well I hope I don't jinx us, but today Fantasy is becoming REALITY!!!!

For the past few years since we moved back into our house, we have been making do with the above patio set. Eric has been holding out for a teak one but being on a single income, we have had to wait and pray and keep checking craigslist until now.

Teak is way more expensive than we can handle, so this is the only way we could do it. Tables alone sell for 1K and up not including chairs, umbrellas, stands and cushions.

I am happy to say that for Father's Day, Mommy found the set above with a table and 2 more chairs for a really wonderful deal. Of course, free or a little less would be better, but we'll take it considering the last time I found one at a deal was a year ago and we missed out on it. The quality of the set will hold out and will make the expense worth it. It is 3 years old and already a little silvered so it has that Cape Cod feel.

I am so happy to finally have this happen. I've been really hoping we could start entertaining on our deck and now we have the seats for others to finally join us. It is a great father's day gift that I know Eric is going to have many years enjoying dinners overlooking the lake.

Tomorrow we are expecting our long lost friends from RI so it will be just in time and I can't think of anyone better to experience our set with and hopefully it will be the start of many, many more get togethers with friends old and new.

Fantasy Friday - I wish Life Would always be this simple

This morning my lovebug is in an ever lovin buggy mood. I love mornings like this where all he does is tell us how much he loves us, gives us unbelievable amount of kisses and hugs and is so silly (almost goofy silly). He gets a kick out of himself when he's being silly now. It is the most precious thing to watch. He has a belly laugh when he tries to laugh at himself being silly. You can't help but smile being around him when he is this way.

If you look at the picture he is cutting up paper into little pieces. The first time I gave him scissors he loved them. He could just cut paper into tiny pieces for hours. I'm tempted to spend a whole day that way, but I don't have it in me. As long as he is doing something craft related, he is happy.

The piece of paper he cut, he asked me for a piece of tape. He looked in our junk drawer and I heard him yell "DUCK TAPE". (Daddy's little boy) I said "No Honey, use regular scotch tape." He said "Mommy, help me wrap up this present." I said, "Present? Ok." (I thought it was just a little wad of scrunched up paper) After I helped put the tape around this little piece of paper, he said "Now OPEN YOUR PRESENT MOMMY!!" Princess N is coming tonight for the weekend, so I thought him being in the typical mood a man would be in when he hasn't seen the love of his life in a month, that he was making the present for her (because he would). I opened the little piece of paper and wrapped inside this little green piece was mysteriously hidden from me, a ORANGE CRAYON!!! I told him that I ALWAYS WANTED AN ORANGE CRAYON.

He hugged and kissed me and then made me a beautiful card with a whale on it, a submarine and some sea otters and other fish using a blue marker.

Now he is sitting next to me tapping his feet and singing and climbing on my kitchen counters and we have errands to run...so catch ya later.

FANTASY FRIDAY - SUNNY WARM SUMMER DAYS FISHING ON THE LAKE

Well, I know I said this before, but THIS WILL BE A SHORT ONE!

Matthew, for the last few weeks, has been hanging on me. You know that I love him and that he can hang on me anytime, but sometimes...it does get to me. Like it is now 5 pm, he is sick of the rain, sick of having allergies for over a week now. He even said to me today "Hey Mom! Do you want to go take a nap?" He never asks me. He was up early so I knew he is beyond arts and crafts, playing with toys or watching any more shows. Earlier in the week we did our teddy bear picnic on the rug.

We need sun and warmth. We need it everyday and if not everyday then at least 28 out of 30 days a month.

I am going to start planning some vacation stuff for us as a family to at least keep us focused on the season at hand. (It feels like 40 degrees today and it is May 18th) We need a fun place to plan to go to within reason (not Disneyland-that's for February). Some place we can all have a good time at that caters to each member of the family. Any Suggestions? Somewhere close to MA?

I'm really leaning toward camping. I've only been once and as you can tell if you look at my sidebar...I really want to go again. Although I really would love to get a cheap pop up because I know this is something once we do it, that we are going to love. If we can't get a pop -up then, I want to rent a cabin in the woods or buy a good size tent for our first family ventures. I don't want another year to go by, without the memory being made.

In the meantime, the pic above is just a little something to keep us all focused that yes, summer is here...and some fishing on the lake (another thing Mommy misses) is in our reach. Daddy got to go fishing earlier this week and the only reason I'm letting you all know is because I never in my wildest dreams imagined he still had it in him, to pull out another whopper of a fishing story. I thought those days were done. In the past he would tell stories and I could nod and smile, because I was there with him...so the description of the fish THAT BIG was really the description of the fish...that big. He is that way in all of his stories. Anyway that is part of his fisherman essence. And all of his stories were true....I was there or maybe I would be on the shore with the camera or he would bring the camera. It is just his way of describing it is LARGER than life.

I hope he doesn't mind me sharing his story. He might want to start a fisherman's blog. He can always just link back to me.

Tuesday night Matthew fell asleep before 7:30. Extremely rare in this house and so I said looking at the beautiful weather and the calmness of the lake "Why don't you go out?" His birthday was the next day so I thought it was fitting for him to start enjoying it, since he has to work during the day. About 2 hours later, he comes home and tells me:

• You wouldn't believe it! I was on the other side of the islands and I casted and got my hook tangled on a log in the water. He had let the line out a lot more than usual for the narrow area of water between the islands that he was in. He got the line all tangled and wrapped under the boat and now hooked on this log in the water. He sat fidgeting and trying to at least get some of the knots now in his line...just untangling, unwrapping, la di da... once he got the line unhooked from the log, he started reeling when...HE HAD A MONSTER!!! Him sitting in the canoe, line wrapped under the canoe all tangled onto a log, and then zap!!!! HE SAID "IT WAS THE BIGGEST ONE I'VE EVER CAUGHT IN THE LAKE" HE WAS AT LEAST UP TO MY KNEE CAP".

I said "Did you keep him?" He said "No". He is a sports fisherman and is very active in catch and release. I said, if he was even bigger than the general you caught last year, maybe we should mount one, one of these days? He just looked at me like I had two heads. I mean in our basement, our sportsman lodge someday. hehe

Last night while eating his birthday cake, he was trying to tell Matthew about his catch. Matthew said, "I CAUGHT ONE TOO DADDY DOWN BY THE DOCK!!"

Eric, brought down a notch, said How Big was it? Matthew said, HOLDING HIS HANDS OUT ARM LENGTH'S ON EITHER SIDE REACHED HIS UPPER BODY UP IN THE AIR AND YELLED....THIS BIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not making this up....apple doesn't fall far from the tree. And fisherman essence is in there too!

Matthew's RSV & Fantasy Friday - My Mother's day wish & what I want for him in life

Just when I think I will be deleting my blog, Matthew goes and says something and makes me want to share it again with the world.

Matthew and I returned from PA on Tuesday night with him having the beginning of allergies/cold. It has been a week of runny noses and coughs and last night I had to give him his nebulizer due to his raspy & rapid breathing. He wants to go out and play so bad and the weather has been so nice, but his breathing scares me when he gets that bad. It brings me right back to him being 18 months old in PA when I had to take him to the hospital.

It was August and we had been visiting my family and he was taking a nap. He developed a 104 fever and was just in his little diaper when I was looking at the fast beating of his chest. It scared me because it had never happened before. I took him to the emergency room where they held him down to give him a nebulizer treatment and then showed me how I would have to do it with him. He was terrified of them and they wound up admitting him for 3 days and explaining he had RSV. At the time, I wound up having Eric drive down to PA to be with us because I didn't know how bad or what we were facing. As soon as Daddy got there, he was the only one to get Matthew to calmly let us give him, his nebulizer treatments....he told him "Let's just breathe in the mist"..and they sat on the chair in the room. Matthew let Daddy do it and felt at ease with him being there and with him holding him and comforting him. When he got released we wound up following each other back to MA. Matthew had to use the nebulizer for every sneeze/cold/cough up to 3 years old. The doctor then told me that he really only needed after that when I felt it was needed, which it seems is worse with his seasonal allergies.

Last night though, it really didn't seem to relieve him, so I am keeping an eye on him and trying to keep him from getting excited. I think I am going to have to ask the doctor about what's next? Do they give him an inhaler for on the go or at the playground? We can't always be staying calm in the house under house protection.

My brother Gorge had asthma his entire life. It kept him from being able to do so much and was always having asthma attacks and being taken to the hospital. I really hope and pray that Matthew's doesn't get that severe.

I was kind of afraid to blog all week. My time in PA was bittersweet. I got to see my immediate family but I think due to Matthew's beginning of not feeling well, I wasn't able to witness my niece’s communion (and I forgot my digital card for my camera). He had a little meltdown, to put it nicely. I had to leave the church for the whole ceremony. After having a talk with him, he promised that he would behave a few hours later at the party. Didn't happen. He was crawling under tables through people's feet of people he doesn't even know, running around the restaurant and not listening to me etc. He loved playing with his little cousin J, but it was more than that. The bold side of him took over. When he was just with little J, he was a sweetheart...one second playing peek-a-boo with her, the next grunting to me and running like a madman with no care for anyone in his way..he would go from sweet little angel...to sweet little madman...in seconds.

The next day Grandpa & I took him to visit the most unbelievable train yard and to a playground so he could work off his steam. The following morning when he started coughing/runny nose, I said...ok...let's get home now, before this gets out of control.

Mommy's tired and a little emotionally drained. I was considering deleting my blog because I have begun to realize that I have un-clogged most of my brain now...and am starting to see things alot clearer now that my head isn't in a fog and I have started to categorize some of my issues. My dream is to have my reality be what my blog represents , my family being happy and healthy and that not only is our son our main goal in life, but that we walk the walk...he is smart enough now to know better. I can't just put out a blog with all of the places I'd like us to visit or what I feel is important in making a family a success, if it doesn't start with us. Another reason I am considering deleting my blog, is honestly, I can't be as honest as I'd like. I know some people think I'm too honest and wear my heart on my sleeve, but I think it is because they feel threatened. Like I'm going to divulge some deep family secret. I'm not that evil and shallow. I am my son's mom. I'm trying to live a happy life with my family and expect the people in my life to live up to their end of the bargain. Everyone plays a part and each part is really tattered these days in what is important for me trying to raise my son. I want him to learn by examples, not by falsities or fake acts that don't match the words behind them or vice versa. Basic lessons I'm learning these days: If you want friends, you have to be a friend, If you want love and respect, you have to give love and respect, If you want happiness, you have to give happiness, If you want a complete circle of fulfillment, you have to work together as a team to make it work...in all aspects of what you feel are important. If there is no team work, there is no team. I want my son to have a family team, I'm blogging about it because I'm hoping and praying that if all members of the team know what I'm looking for that it will come back to me. Not just for Mother's Day, but everyday. Mother's day for me is every day with Matthew. I want him to learn by experiences and examples and I pray that he lives a long healthy well balanced life of self-esteem, loving, kind, sensitive, caring, compassionate, passionate life for everything that is important in this life outside of material goals.

On a funny note: What got me started on this today in the first place....he ran up to me and said hug me mommy!!! You are SO WARM AND COMFORTABLE!!! I said..ok Mommy has to blog that....but you know me..start typing and next thing you know...

Fantasy Friday - ONE OF MOMMY'S FAVORITE MEMORIES

Well, today I was looking for a theme of how I was feeling...something, fancy that goes with Friday....oh yeah, Fantasy Friday....(silly I know).

I am always looking for pictures of where I am from in PA or pictures that represent part of what makes me complete as a person.

I've mentioned in the past that I had a rough time growing up with my mom's illness. Once I was old enough to get my license I started to really see that the beauty was more than just in the woods surrounding my neighborhood, that it was across on the other mountain - or down that road, up that big hill, over into the farms. It just kept expanding as I started getting more adventurous.

In one of those adventures, in the summertime, I found the place in the above picture. The part of PA I'm from is full of beauty like this with waterfalls, wonderful lush forests, gorges and swimming tubs.

The more that I would get stressed with my situation at home, ironically the more water was calming or would pull me. I would spend hours just deep in thought at this particular gorge. The picture doesn't do it justice. Picture being down there, on the rock closest to that and now close your eyes and feel the cold splash or the mist and water and listen to that roaring sound of the water. A few people closest to me were lucky enough to visit it with me, before the city had for safety's sake closed off the area. The dangerous height and irresponsibility of teenagers left it a dangerous mix. I did my own share of "escaping" while down there and even diving into it...although from a 5 foot cliff, not even near the height some kids dived from. Although I did read that they have made it safer in the summertime now. I have to get back to visit.

My fantasizing today isn't about my escaping then and the fact that I swam in it. I'm not bragging. I brag about Matthew. hehe

My fantasy today is in the beauty and sound of that gorge, that when I can't make it in again this weekend for my niece's Holy Communion due to weather and other issues including financial, this picture is a place I can escape to in my mind even for one minute.

That Thank God I at least have my fantasy to keep me going and for me it's more than a fantasy, it's called a MEMORY.

In the my late teens-early 20's, in the summer time, I sat in that gorge. If you look in the picture to where those two rocks come together, to where it starts the actual waterfall. I sat in that water rushing over the edge, like one big, calming, wonderful, healing, natural, scenic hug with the water hitting me like jets in a hot tub. This is only one of many of Mommy's scenic memories in life, that I like to remember now and then....it's good for the soul.

On a good note, Matthew and I will be going down next week sometime for a whole week. Mommy's mother day present to myself.