Remember When Wednesday!! What's wrong with me??? Posting almost one year later

I am a horrible person, letting FB consume my life. I have been away so long, that it has almost been like a loss to me..afraid to even look at my old love because I have been unfaithful...and it's true. I have missed my blog so much.

Ironically a few weeks ago, my miracle's birthday was coming up and I googled searched the words Jedi cakes. I was hoping for a Mario cake this year, but still looking for images and ideas..and guess what popped up first on the search.

So Blessed To Be Matthew's Mom In MA pictures from last years Star Wars Party....It stopped me short and took my breath, and then I had to click on it...and that was it. I couldn't at the time let myself back in, because I had to stay focused on my mission of planning his party and have enough distractions, but it has been calling to me ever since.

Today on FB, I accidentally was looking up an old high school class near mine, looking for an old girlfriend of mine...when I saw an ex-boyfriend's name with a picture of his son...I clicked on it, due to how cute his little boy is now. His wife has a blog, and I let myself into her and his world, and felt so guilty for not sharing over the past year again about my own blessing.

I am hoping to get back into this again. Matthew asked me the other day if I had a diary. I told him, "Remember Mommy's blog honey, that is my diary, that is my heart and soul, my journal."

There is too much to catch up again, so for now, one day at a time again. My mother will be gone almost 4 years on the 25th of February and I will be heading home for her mass, to attend with my dad. I miss her more than humanly possible to ever put into words.

Bad Mama Swan Blogger..bad..bad..bad..

I can not believe it has been another almost two months since my last post..

Most of it has been due to no news is good news..and typical busy everyday life more keeping up with my friends and family on a daily basis, instead of the world in my mind....

Yet, something keeps pulling me back...Mother's day, my pain in my shoulder calcified fragment in my bursa of my right rotator cuff has kept me from here the past week...As Papa Swan is saying "Mama Swan hurt her wing."

Now that I have somewhat limited movement again...I feel like what if I couldn't type or share my thoughts of my son with the world...nothing is more painful to me, then not being able to express myself.

So, with that said, I am going to get back to sharing on a more weekly basis again..for my sake, for my memories of what I hope someday my almost first grader will understand why Mama would type on the computer every day!

I am still in awe...and this week will be my second chance to volunteer in his kindergarten class to see him in his element with teachers and friends and their well oiled machine of a class room schedule that is really wonderful to witness.

Later this week, for special person's day, Papa Swan will be the guest of honor and will get to witness Matthew in gym class.

Then the weekend is already Memorial Weekend, which to me is unfathomable. Where did the past two months go?

We So Can't Wait For Spring to Officially Come Next WEEK!!- Matthew's LONGEST BASEBALL GAME EVER!

Matthew has had a cough since Monday. Over the weekend, the temperatures were warmer, so then typical New England weather the next day it will be freezing!

We are so ready for this long winter to be done, for more reasons than one.

It has been tough being housebound and the moment the sun comes out and the temperatures rise, the music gets turned up and you can just feel the change in the air, in the house...it's like we all breathe a sigh of relief...............aaahhhhhhhhh we made it! We survived again!

Then it gets cold again the next day, and Mama Swan can barely type and move her body due to her limbs being frozen all the time.

I am sick of wearing sweats and sweaters!! I wish the warm weather lasted a lot longer.

I know this sounds like a complaining blog..but really it's not. I'm just waiting for my fingers to warm up so I can blog more.

On a warmer note, one sign of spring is baseball season. The other day, I got an email from another mom, wanting me to register Matthew for the longest game ever. It is a 36 hour game that is being played in our town and to register him for free, it created the most awesome fundraising and proud mommy moment for me. It created a page with Matthew's picture, and his name was scattered throughout the page. I am copying some of it to protect our identity but still with sharing this awesome moment for my little T-Ball player:

TOP FUND-RAISING INCENTIVE PRIZE LUNCH WITH CURT SCHILLING Each player who raises $250 will be invited to a pizza lunch featuring Red Sox great, CURT SCHILLING. Curt will sign autographs, share stories and pose for pictures with the kids. The TOP 32 overall fund-raisers will get to sit at CURT'S table during lunch!


On the weekend of June 6 and 7 all 800 ____Massachusetts youth baseball and softball players including Matthew will attempt to set the WORLD RECORD for the longest baseball game ever played, 36 hours!

The event will take place in ____, Massachusetts at the __Complex.

Every player from each team will participate in the event.

The Longest Baseball Game will begin at 8:00 a.m. on Saturday June 6 and end 36 hours later, at 8:00 p.m. on Sunday, June 7.

The current world record for the Longest Baseball Game is 32 hours 29 minutes 25 seconds set October 13-14, 2007 in St. Louis, Mo.

In order for this event to be a success we need your help.

Please consider contributing towards Matthew's personal fund-raising goal. We're offering great incentive prizes for Matthew including a great top fund-raising prize to be announced soon!

Our goal is to raise $100,000 to distribute to charities that include the local DARE program, and March of Dimes. The entire game will be broadcast on the Internet at___.

The exact time of Matthew's game will be posted on the home page soon so you can listen to Matthew help set a WORLD RECORD!

Thank you for your support!

NOW, HOW COOL IS THAT!! AND SUCH AN AWESOME FUNDRAISING IDEA!!

Make that Three Teeth in One Week and some green leaves for Mama Swan

Knock on Wood, the incident the other day possibly was a one time deal. His teacher assured me that there was no need for us to meet and talk about it..so fingers crossed.

The other night, Matthew yelled, "MY OTHER TOOTH FELL OUT!!!!"

That makes three teeth right next to each other on the top! I'm having a heart attack picturing him toothless very soon.

He had fallen, running up my hardwood stairs earlier in the day and banged his chin very hard. I'm thinking that combined with Papa Swan noticing he hadn't stopped wiggling the tooth for the past couple of days, might have done the trick.

I don't know if this is normal. Three teeth in one week???? I have to make him a dentist appointment.

The weekend provided some warm weather, so yesterday he was outside with Papa Swan playing in the yard.

I was upstairs doing laundry I had been avoiding all week, along with some spring fever to get me to organize some old toys, old clothes..etc..

Matthew yells to me from downstairs "MOM!! I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU!!! BUT I CAN'T BRING IT UPSTAIRS BECAUSE I HAVE MUD ALL OVER MY BOOTS!!

I come downstairs to meet him halfway through the house, with his muddy boots, but I get over it quick when he hands me about 20 small sticks all tight together in his hands...and then says "See there is some green leaves in there too!"

The pile is still on my counter and I plan on keeping those green leaves forever in my treasure chest...of little things he gives me.

Snow today..but who cares..more green leaves right around the corner.

Mama Swan's Night Out - The Great Escape and Matthew's Two Top Front Teeth

On Satuday night, I had a much needed and planned night out with some old and new friends. About a month ago, I found a sign at a local club for a Journey Tribute Band.

They are called The Great Escape.

What a fitting title.

I had planned to see them, we got tickets for a few mom friends to get out and what an ESCAPE it was.

The pub where they were playing was a little tight quarters, but so worth it. I had a few too many Smithwicks that four days later, I'm still feeling.

On the way out the door to go out with my friends, Matthew yells "I LOST MY TOOTH!!" We look at him, as blood is covering his mouth from his front tooth that came out.

I only have one picture now of the one tooth, before my ESCAPE was done, when I came home Papa Swan said "The one next to it came out too!"

Now everything he does in so precious with his little toothless grin. He can be so bold and with that grin...we are just dying with love and a little laughter on the inside. I can't believe my little guy who just turned six has now lost four teeth. The ones on the bottom he lost last summer after a light saber incident. They are now coming in.

Everytime I look at his picture from last year on my desktop, I just sigh at the little baby teeth in his smile that are now gone.

Month in pictures - Matthew's STAR WARS MOVIE PARTY

Bad Blogger...Bad Mama Swan...Bad....

I am mortified that it has been almost 30 days since my last post!!

This happened last year at this time. With Matthew's sixth birthday, his party, other birthday parties, anniversaries, visit to PA to see Grandpa P, Uncle J and Uncle Phil, back to school...it has just flown by...

There is no excuse for it. My little guy has had some great moments this month, including turning six. (Only four years from ten..double digits..stop hyperventilating)

The Public Library is one of the best resources in MA for discounted passes to the best museums, zoos, water parks, science and children museums. When we were on school vacation last week, we were going to go. Mama Swan had her head swimming in just trying to prepare for a last minute decision that yes, we could split the week and see Grandpa in PA and be back in time for another birthday party/Mama Swan and Papa Swan's anniversary that she didn't get to the library in time.

Papa Swan has a bad earache, so we are going into town for a doctor's appointment anyway, so I reserved us a Boston Children's Museum Pass for Each coupon admits up to four (4) people at a reduced rate of $2.00 per person, as opposed to the regular charge of $12.00 for each adult and $9.00 for Matthew.

Not too shabby. They are all like that.

So I am going to wrap up this post, this month with a promise that next month..I will be better.

Remember When Wednesday - Matthew's first Valentine's day, Planning his 6th Birthday Party

The last week, I have been consumed by planning my little guy's sixth birthday party.

How is it possible that he is turning six in just a few weeks...closer to the double digits for the rest of his life?

He is having a Star Wars birthday party this year. Mama Swan found an a inexpensive (compared to the other choices available) way to have his party at a movie theater nearby, with his friends from school and his family. We will have the movie and cake, popcorn and drinks and hopefully the little princess' we are inviting don't get scared.

I chose the original Star Wars from 1977, now called Star Wars IV A New Hope.

(it wouldn't let me copy my cute little clip art from the invitation, but here is an edited version)


A LONG TIME AGO

IN A GALAXY FAR AWAY, ON FEBRUARY 7, 2003,

A BOY OF DESTINY WAS BORN

THIS YOUNG JEDI, MATTHEW
WILL CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHDAY IN A GALAXY NEAR YOU.

PLEASE JOIN US ON FEBRUARY 7, 2009

TO JOIN JEDI MATTHEW AND HIS FRIENDS

AT THE THEATER

FOR STAR WARS IV MOVIE, A NEW HOPE

JOIN US FOR CAKE:
BEFORE THE MOVIE, AT 1:30
WITH THE MOVIE IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING, STARTING NO LATER THAN 2:00.

PLEASE SUBMIT THIS INVITATION TO THE CONCESSION STAND,
AND EACH INVITED JEDI KNIGHT OR PRINCESS WILL RECEIVE A COMPLIMENTARY POPCORN AND DRINK.

PARENTS: THE CONCESSION STAND WILL BE OPEN DURING THE MOVIE – AT ONE DOLLAR AN ITEM.
DUE TO THE SIZE OF THE THEATER, SIBLINGS AND PARENTS ARE WELCOME AND ENCOURAGED TO STAY AND ENJOY THE MOVIE.
Note: There is NO arcade at this location, other than the actual movie theater, so the Jedi’s and Princess’ will remain in the theater.
*** PLEASE RSVP, NO LATER THAN JANUARY 31, 2009 TO THE JEDI’S MOM AT

I figured with today's updated technology and violence and even cartoons on Cartoon Network, that this was the best choice. We saw Clone Wars which is the animated cartoon, but it really is more violent than the original movie, in my opinion.

There are a few touchy scenes like the compact garbage scene and the one where Obi wan cuts off a guys arm, but I'm hoping the girls anyway are distracted or something during this (brief few seconds) time. Other moms are assuring me that if the parents think it is scary, then they will take the kid home or out to the lobby for a moment before returning.

The rest of the movie is awesome with R2D2 and C-3P0 and Chewbacca.

Anyway, it's a cold one up here in New England today with only 10 degrees and wind chills below Zero.

We got to go sledding earlier in the week though, so we at least got in our fun outside before this Midwest artic freeze they are calling for the rest of the week, sets in.

I wanted to post pictures of our sledding trip, but my camera is acting up and my friend N, sent them to me in a format, where I can't use them until I order them.

It's hard to believe that Matthew's first Valentine's day in the NICU was six years ago.

Grandpa Shows Up With Cabbage!!

Last night during dinner, Matthew ran to me and said, "Tell me a story about your mom!"

I said, "You mean when I was little?"

He said, "Yes, Anything!"

I was shocked the way he came up to me and just asked me straight out about her. I told him how she was so beautiful, as I was quickly racking my brain for good memories with her. Due to her illness, my memory isn't the best with the good times, and I don't want him to know that.

So, I told him how she loved to bake and was so beautiful.

I then remembered a funny story but had to alter it a little due to his age.

I told him when his Grandpa met Grandma, he worked on a farm. My father being all Italian in the summer working on the farm, would get very dark. (I left that part out) I told him that Grandpa was so happy to meet Grandma, that one day he brought a head of cabbage to her house.

He knocked on the door and Matthew's Great-Grandmother opened the door in shock!!!

I told Matthew it was due to the size of the cabbage. It was really about the darkness of my father and him standing there at the front door of my Irish Grandmother's house, with that head of cabbage.

It was late 1950's early 1960's! So she was a little shook up!

My Grandmother then ran into the other room, screaming who and why is this man at our door?

I didn't explain this part to Matthew. He was happy with the fact that Grandpa showed up with the cabbage for Grandma!

Part of my resolution this year, is not to feel bad about the past..yet this isn't feeling bad, it's sharing memories.

I always wish Matthew had more people around to say, when your mom was a girl she did this, or your Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle's and cousins did this...

You get the picture....not only his memories yet to be created, but to also have a sense of who we all are, and our memories to help mold his life.

Yesterday and today, I have been back to the routine of school again, as well as the getting up early. I am getting myself up 45 minutes to an hour earlier than him, to have a cup of coffee, wash my face, get dressed and take care of me so I can then tackle him.

My hair is now in layers, and the girl said to get the curly look just let it dry by itself, so I have been letting the back dry and just take care of my bangs.

This morning, after doing my hair.

He looks at me and said "Mommy, your hair is messy still!"

I said, "Hey, I got up early to fix it so it isn't messy honey...this is the style."

He said, "Oh yeah, I like it like that!"

I now have to just go vacuum, play date today with some friends that we miss and I promise I am not cleaning more than that, the bathroom and the kitchen counters!

I have pride!

New Year's Eve

Satisfying Saturday - Silly I know

But that is how I feel! It's amazing what the phone will do for you!!

By 10:30 am, I had already called two friends and my Aunt Sissy to wish her a HAPPY 81ST BIRTHDAY!!

One of my friends, twinsmom and I haven't had a girls night in a while, so tonight we are doing comedy movie at her house! I am soooo looking forward to it!

By 2:30, I had talked to a few other friends who I had lost touch with over the years, and I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to be able to just hear their voice and to have absolutely no awkward moments in the conversation.

I had also talked to my little brother Phil, catching him up on his nephew's recent Mario antics. We have found a Godfather Mario today online with the music and Mario dressed in Mafia attire shooting the bad guys. The other day we found a Lego video on YouTube (both with Mama Swan's right next to him), of Lego's in concert doing AC/DC TNT and Back In Black!! hysterical!!

It's amazing though after a few phone calls, and numerous emails on that other website I hang out on, what that does for the soul.

It makes me a happier me, a more complete me, which makes for a more complete mom and wife!

It's all just wonderful.

Glad to see I'm sticking to my resolutions!

It's early I know....but things are different!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

He's coming.....If you check out Norad's website to track Santa, he is now in Mongolia!!! Matthew just yelled to me that he has moved from Japan into "another state!!! Mommy!! Mongolia"

Make sure you are good today!!! He always has time to check in on who is being naughty or nice:-)

We love you all!
The Swan Family

Remember When Wednesday - My Christmas Gift from God

I know I am sooo crazy about my son, that it was once a joke by my brother in law, when Matthew was 4 months old...his picture was on the Internet more than Pamela Anderson:-)


Well, why should I stop now?

I am so thankful and lucky to have this muse to be able to show the world, how much I feel blessed.

Yes it is trying some times, now that he is approaching six years old, but when I stop to smell the roses everyday and listen to his little voice, watch his facial expressions in his jokes and animated stories and wondrous sponge for learning and showing us what he is learning; how could I not feel blessed?

Yesterday we went to his friend R's house for a play date. He had to make everyone a little scrolled piece of paper that he specially drew them a picture on from his heart. He did this on his own with no help or prodding from me. How proud was I when he couldn't wait to hand out four hand made gifts to his friends. This is the gift of giving, from his heart that I want him to learn and now it is happening. No words could express how that makes me feel.


Everyday, we have the little wonderful moments that fit in with the very trying getting up early, sticking to the routine on school days, tantrums over not getting his way with us, but when he is in one of his "awe" moments....and that's not aahhhh...that's "AWE", it is soooo worthwhile to just keep praying, keep feeling blessed and keep thanking God for my miracle.

Last night he ended the night with us, by showing how smart he is at adding!!!

Eric asked him how much is 10 plus 2.

We were only using our fingers at the time, so I thought I would hold up my fingers to help him count....he said "BE QUIET!!! I'M THINKING!!"

Eric and I held our breath while he had his head on the table and you could literally feel him thinking sooo hard..........

HE LOOKED UP AND SAID "TWELVE!!"

I literally danced the happiest dance, high fiving him and he told us "I didn't use my fingers" I counted it in my brain!!

I thought I would post some pictures to remember other Christmas past with my angel, in light

of the season upon us.

Fantasy/Reality Friday - Quips from Matthew and playdate with friends

We had the wonderful occasion this week, to have two awesome play dates. The things that make me happy.

Not only did Matthew get along awesome with his friends R and D, this week..but Mama Swan was having a good time too with "her" friends, and got to hold a beautiful and sweet four month old baby for 4 hours this week.

I used to post Matthew's wonderful quips every week, and I have been slacking to say the least.

Here are some from this week:

1. Mommy, You are the most beautiful Mommy in the whole world, MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN A DINOSAUR.


2. (After taking him to visit Santa at Bass Pro Shops)- Mommy, I don't think there is a Santa Claus (after we had just wrote his list).....my jaw dropping and trying to pick myself off the floor asked him why he would say this? BECAUSE HE DROVE A TRUCK TO BASS PRO SHOPS.


3. I want to be a big brother. Why don't you have a girl, so I can have a sister.


4. My Lego Tower is going to be Eleven Feet High.


5. How Old is Grandpa P? After I told him, he said "I THINK HE IS 44."


6. Going out to the bus this morning, he was dilly dallying on the front porch and yelling ahead to me, What is Grandpa P's First Name? What is Grandpa K's First Name? Where is Grandma P? (I reminded him she is in Heaven and that she is his angel)....HE YELLED TO ME, AND DIDN'T MOVE OFF THE STEP......................I WANT TO PRAY TO HER RIGHT NOW.

And in other wonderful moments, thank you to D's mom, she sent me a beautiful picture of Matthew's creation yesterday. He literally can just live there now, due to D and his wonderful toys:-)

Thankful Thursday - Mama Swan works the machine in Honey I Shrunk The Kids (In Matthew's Dream)

This morning someone woke up and the first words out of his mouth, were:

"Mommy I had a dream that you were running that machine in Honey, I Shrunk The Kids, but it worked the opposite way and you pointed it to Grammy R's house, and it blew up Grammy and Pa Man."

Me still sleeping, was so excited that he got to have a dream of me running that machine. (One of my favorite movies, taking my little brother P to see way back in the day, when it came out.)

But when he saw me smiling, with my mind thinking about that, he yelled "BUT MOMMY, YOU BLEW UP GRAMMY AND PA MAN!!"

Back to reality, I said "That's terrible honey! But did I get to shrink Daddy? Was he out running around in the yard in the wild?"

He said "No" looking at me in a confused state that I wasn't still dwelling on my blowing up the neighbors.

I told him, that it was too bad that machine didn't work right and did that to the poor neighbors.

That I'm sure I didn't mean it.

I asked him if I shrunk anything and he said "ONLY A FEW ANIMALS."

I said, That's okay.

How cool am I???? To work that machine in his dream? Just wish I had actually shrunk people, like even us and we went on an adventure.....and that I could have the same dream as him and we could experience it together..

I know...now I know where he gets his imagination from.

The funny thing is, that he only saw that movie once about a year ago!

But the other day, on an awesome site I was told about where you can watch movies for free called Surfthechannel.com we actually looked for that one to watch. Didn't find it, so we watched Barnyard 2 instead.

But that was it.

He is like me and I love hearing his stories about his dreams, it reminds me of when I used to at least remember my dreams and I would tell them to Eric and we would laugh because they were so wild. Haven't had any like that though in at least 6 years or more.

Now he can be my dreamer.

Here's to Honey I Shrunk The Kids!!

MNO, Daddy got him to sleep in his own bed!!

I know Silly Saturday title, but I have to give credit when credit is due.

Last night I went out for a monthly sometimes, every two month, hour and a half with my friend twin's mom. We usually are home before ten and last night I was home by 8:30.

We are both in the same financial area, and have limited funds. When we go out, you know it is just to get in my car and possibly get a coffee, or as in this case Wal-Mart so she could find some items for her daughter's Halloween costume. It really is just a chance to be around another human being, another mom for an hour or two. We've been friends for awhile now, and we both dream of winning the lottery (although I don't play), so we can actually stay out til 11:00 and see an expensive movie.

When I came home last night, Eric told me "He's asleep in his own bed, by himself." I thought he was joking.

But sure enough, he stayed there all night long.

This has happened in the past when Mommy's in PA visiting or with Twin's Mom, he is able to say "Go to sleep now, I have things to do", and then walk out of the room with no problems.

That's because He is not Matthew's teddy bear, or blanket to hold and has been holding for almost 6 years, that's been Mommy so it is not that difficult to see that he would listen to his Dad's authoritative voice saying the same thing he says every night. Good night son, I love you, I have to go "do my things."

And I'm not bragging that I'm Matthew's teddy bear, blanket or anything else, because I know that although I absolutely love the love he gives me when he cuddles into me and is so sweet at that time of night, that it is not in his best interest to keep cuddling with Mommy. That the co-sleeping family bed that we believed in as a family when he was a toddler, due to the circumstances of whatever was happening at the moment, is now not the best for him to learn his own independence.

Have to cut this cord..just this one...right now..................

Tomorrow morning, Matthew and I will go to mass and pray that it will go smoothly.

Have a great day!

St. Therese of the child Jesus, St. Gerard Majella, Leo Buscaglia and Mama Swan's Fairy Godmother

In preparing myself for getting back to church, today I've been joining catholic women blogrolls, and now seeing another part of cyberspace that I really hadn't seen before.

Even before I go back to church on Sunday, I am now blessed to know that the whole world is right at my computer and is already starting to "envelop" me. It's beautiful to see all of the blessings out there and other women who feel as blessed as me and want to share that with the world, not just in their children but also in their dreams and pondering of everyday life.

Yesterday was the Feast day of St. Therese of the child Jesus. Ironically it is also the birthday to my fairy godmother named after her. We call her that since Matthew has been born, with my love for Cinderella. Matthew is still waiting for her to take out her wand and put mommy in a gown.

When I was a little girl, during my mother's healthier years before I was ten; my mother would read me facts on Saints, or prayers from the bible. One of my mom's favorite saints was St. Gerard Majella, who was known as the saint for Motherhood. She also loved Bishop Fulton Sheen and Leo Buscaglia, speaking of Love.

When Eric and I were suffering infertility, after failed years and failed IUI treatments, I took a breathing and relaxation course at Beth Israel Hospital in Brookline, MA. I met a woman in this class who was there for the same reasons as we were. She ironically without knowing of my mother's interests handed me a prayer book of St. Gerard Majella. I have kept it close to my heart since.

I really should look up that girl, and see if her prayers were answered the way mine were. It was just so hard though, going through infertility for those going through it, and then being the friend on the outside. When you can't conceive and you hear your friend tell you, it worked for them, it is like a knife that cuts into you and is such a hopeless feeling.

My prayer is that she was blessed and God willing if she is meant to be in my life someday, she will be.

Here is an excerpt from another website called Praying4ABaby.com

Take care.

Star Spangled Banner, Ireland and Kindergarten catching up with him

This morning went a little better than yesterday. It always helps when I get up at least a half hour before Matthew.

For some reason this morning, I decided to broadcast from my kitchen, radio live from Ireland. I get in these moods sometimes, and music is in my soul and keeps me moving, more than coffee.

Sometimes I broadcast from PA and it feels like I'm in my town driving by the river, through the mountains, with my brothers or father around me. It's funny. One time I heard from my kitchen in MA, someone related to my cousin (other side of the family) won $100. I emailed her to let her know. She didn't know, she wasn't listening. hehe

Every once in awhile though I like to listen to Irish radio, because it makes me feel like we are back in our rental car, driving through the western side of the country listening to the radio as we drove, watching the horse and buggy and the beautiful lush green countryside, listening to the brogue of the people as they talk really fast.

The people in Ireland are the most warmest people you ever want to meet. And Dad if you are reading this, since I haven't been to Italy yet...I can only talk about my experiences. I'm sure when I get to Italy, they will give me warm hugs and spaghetti and I'll never want to leave.

Matthew wasn't impressed though with the music, and still demanded I shut it off so he could watch Curious George while he ate his cereal.

But as he was getting dressed, he out of the blue said to me "Mommy, Remember that girl that sang at my baseball ceremony?" I said "Yes." He said "Why don't you sing that song?" I said "The Star Spangled Banner?" He said, "Yes." So I sang The Star Spangled Banner to him right there really loud in the bathroom.

My first singing request from my son, and he picks The Star Spangled Banner. hehe

Although he does ask me to play my Linda Ronstadt and Pat Benatar music, saying they sound like Mommy, so I guess he is definitely expanding his music choices.

On another note, yesterday after running a few errands, Matthew passed out in the car. Lately when he falls asleep during the day, I can not wake him up!!! I know it is from him still adjusting to his new long week. I know only five mornings, but still an adjustment from only three mornings last year and a summer of no mornings.

I carried him in the house from the car, all 50 lbs of him. I yelled to him, kissed his cheek, tickled him, put on Zaboomafoo really loud.

He got off the couch, fell to his knees at the couch and put his head down, and was OUT!!

He got a kick out of the pictures when he woke up! hehe

Happy First Day Of Fall....I've been hiding, I know.

Well, Well, Well. What do we know?

I could start my post by telling you a million and one excuses, of why I haven't been here in the past 7 months, but we don't have enough space.

To put in a nutshell, I have spent my whole life worrying about other people's opinions of me. I'm now done with their issues, and believe with all my heart....that I need a place to vent, a place to create, a place to be somewhat real without offending anyone.

Some of what I've written or will write again someday, has to be somewhat "rosied up" (for lack of a better word). My profile is only so many characters and so as not to turn people away, I have to make it fit. No one has a perfect life, and the main object of this blog is to help me get out some of what I'm feeling - not all.

If you want to know the behind the scenes all, or the between the rosy lines - call me. A real friend is there for you no matter what, and I will gladly pour my honest heart out and let you do the same- I'm a good listener. But for now, other than my pride of my miracle that God gave me - that's about the most honest I can get, without stepping on other people's feelings.

Now let's start this again:

Happy First Day Of Fall

Matthew is now starting his 3rd week of Kindergarten and taking the bus and he is loving every moment of it.

Everyday he tells me of a new friend on the bus who he met and wants to go to their house, but with limited information. Friday, it was a little girl who lives down this street, but "I don't know her name Mommy". The day before that we went on a wild goose chase looking for a little boy, with only a first name, white house, doesn't live on lake, but on a sunny road, that wanted ME to bake him 5 cakes.

I am enjoying every minute of his adventurous and wonderful, loving, kind, sweet, funny moments.

He is also now playing soccer and I think he is doing awesome. Yesterday my father asked him if he is #1 on his team? (meaning like the star player), and he answered NO Grandpa!! I'm number 7.

Well, today I'm cutting it short because I have had an abscessed wisdom tooth and on antibiotics, that don't do anything for the pain. I have to get something stronger, but not too strong so I can still function for my little guy.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Happy Birthday Mom & Thankful Thursday

Once Again, Mom....HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

This morning was an interesting one, to say the least. In less than an hour I felt like Erma Bombeck who I used to love. My English teacher in high school introduced me to her writings and I've loved them since.

The morning began at 6:45 and we needed to get up for school. Matthew immediately started out the morning by saying he was still tired. I thought, OK...15 more minutes under the covers and then that's it.

At 7 AM he started saying how he didn't want to go to school today. When I asked him why he mentioned that he was comfy and cozy and just didn't want to get up and go. I let him know that if we could get through today, he would have almost a full week vacation off due to Veteran's Day on Monday.

He didn't want any part of it and me being the cozy loving, cuddling, sleep loving, bed loving under the covers mom that I am, I forced myself up to get dressed, turn on his shows on the TV downstairs, make coffee and get him something to eat.

Twenty minutes later, him and Daddy were snuggling on the couch. I said "This isn't helping me." Daddy made him a deal that if he went to school, I would let him play Super Mario games on the computer when he comes home.

He really is getting carried away and it is amazing to me to see how at four years old, he is not spoiled, but he needs to stop expecting things such as toys, games - computer related or otherwise. I need to put my foot down. I will let him play his games today and luckily tomorrow we have a play date to get out of the house. We also had one yesterday so at least his time is being spent more socializing with his friends than in the house on the computer. He is Daddy's little boy and he will tell me to just type in "the network"!!

The other day I found out that network isn't the same as Daddy's but The CARTOON NETWORK site.

He is really good and plays more than batman & spiderman and superhero games. He is really good at educational games as well and loves just as much to be online playing WORD WORLD games on PBSkids.com

I don't want to hold him back from learning but somehow I need to let him know that life wasn't always this technical or this easy. I hate to sound like my parents, but I find myself starting now to say "Back when I was a kid" and I know that isn't the answer but I need to give him a view of life without computers or toys constantly being shown on the commercials. In two minutes he will ask me for five toys one after another. I keep saying add it to your list for Santa and I keep making him aware of how many times he is asking for something. We'll say "Where are we going to put all of these toys?"

He'll just say "Upstairs, down the basement" (because that is where all of his toys are)

And he is only almost 5.

Anyway, back to this morning. He finally ate two bites of an oatmeal raisin cereal bar (not enough) and then as we were getting ready to put on his sneakers (8:05- school starts at 8:30), he started telling me that he had a bump on the back of his head.

I found it under the hair and immediately feared what it was. He has never had one up to this point and now in hindsight I feel like a horrible mom because he was the one to find it and not me.

It was a tick!!!!

Eric naked in the shower trying to get ready for work, peeked out and confirmed my fears. He told Matthew that he would take it out. While we were waiting for Daddy to throw on a towel, Matthew went into panic mode and hid out in the closet. I assured him that Daddy is a professional and that he used to do this with Ringo and Pooker all of the time. I assured him that Daddy taking it out would be alot easier than not taking it out and that it could make him sick.

At 8:15 Daddy got that damn live tick out of my angel's head.

At 8:18 Matthew squished him with his magnifying glass after thinking he was cool.

At 8:25 we were in the car and Matthew said "What kind of bug was that again?" I told him and he repeated it and said he would have to tell his teacher and his friends.

I immediately am panicking about the horribleness of kids being cruel said "Don't tell the kids about it honey. You can tell your teacher. I'm telling your teacher."

Thank you God today wasn't show and tell and he would want to bring it in.

So now it is time for me to go pick him up.

I am going to have to cut my Thankful things list down today due to timing.

1. I'm Thankful Daddy was home so that he could get that thing out of his hair.
2. I'm Thankful Matthew eventually made it to school today.
3. I'm Thankful for my coffee.
4. I'm Thankful for my life that I can find the humor in this due to my experience with Erma Bombeck. I know my English teacher passed away years ago, but thank you Mrs. B.

Have a pint with my mom today and give her a hug for me.