OK...now that my distraction with American Idol is over (my cousin didn't make the audition either), it is now time for me to get back to Matthew's world.
This morning we are heading out for a wonderful lead test that I have been dreading taking him to. I thought it would be them poking a needle in his arm like they do for adults when they give blood, but Eric told me that my sister in law just had it done for her son, and they only prick the finger.
That, Mommy can handle with a 4 and a half year old little boy that in no way would have sat still long enough to endure the pain of having a needle in his arm.
So, I just broke the news to him and at first he was resistant but after I explained it all to him gently and mentioned we would then go to lunch and clothes shopping for him for school, he was excited. More excited about lunch than the shopping, but I haven't started yet so I have to start sometime. He still fits into alot of his shirts from last year so I am OK in that department. I mostly just need some new jeans for him, sneakers and maybe a fall jacket to get us started.
I can't believe that one week from Thursday, he will be starting preschool and this time it really is the last week before I hand him over to the world for the next 14 years of his life (Pre-K and K included).
I am hugging him tighter this morning.
I didn't think that I would feel this overwhelming emotion about it, due to my emotions are mostly concerned with him actually going and not having separation anxiety again.
But Mommy now has the separation anxiety and it we have one week left just us, to enjoy just us...sniff....sniff...
He is my world and my love and I hope that the world is good to him.
I have so many mommy fears that I don't want him exposed to in the real world, but I can't do anything about it.
He will now know that teachers will be the one to guide him with his parents in life and be exposed to other children and what there little lives have been exposed to.
It is the beginning of realizing that there is a war going on, that some people are bad in this world and some are good.
He will learn more beyond what we let him see.
I don't want that to happen!
I want to keep him in a safety bubble.
One that he can still enjoy life, but yet the world won't hurt him.
I only pray that we as parents will have the strength, the guidance, the love and support, the wisdom, the family morals to get him through life to turn into the remarkable, bright and loving man he will be, healthy and happy and well balanced with a little romanticism and a little manly toughness .
1 comment:
I so hear you. I battle with letting CJ explore, learn, grow... and wanting to keep him close and protected and safe. It's one of the hardest struggles of being a parent, I think... finding that balance.
Post a Comment