The pictures above are from our family reunion weekend in PA. We had a remarkable time and my brother P is going to be America's Next American Idol, but that's a story for another day.
Matthew has been going through what we hope is a stage. The stage of not listening to any adult disciplining him. The first swimming lesson he listened a total of 5 minutes out of a 30 minute class given by a young girl. At the next class, she was out sick, so a male instructor was there to step in. Matthew did so much better with him and I made sure Mommy was not out of view but out of reach or eye contact to help him stay focused on the lesson at hand.
We decided to switch Matthew to this guys regular evening class, due to him making an impact. This past lesson, Eric took him and sat across the pool in some bleachers far enough away, but for some reason his inability to cooperate kicked in again and he wound up having 3 lifeguards chasing him around the pool to try and catch him. Eric was beside himself and we have now decided we need to really focus better on our interactions with him and start getting a little tougher skinned (that would be me that needs that).
Tonight I will take him again and I am praying that with me he does better again. He was born with this little stubborn Irish streak in him that doesn't want to do anything until he is ready to do it. Combine that with being an only child and used to having Mommy and Daddy's full attention and we have a problem. I am panicking without him knowing about school starting in a few weeks. I dread that he is going to put me through the same tantrums that we experienced last year. I was hoping that a month of swimming lessons and listening to an instructor would start us both getting used to that outside direction.
After Eric's witness to the battle the other night at swimming lessons, we decided that we are going to start charting him again, start rewarding and praising him more about things that he does right etc., start using the time out chair again more. Basically everything SuperNanny says, we will do.
Yesterday morning I got up with Matthew to make him breakfast and immediately told him our day is going to change. It is try new things Wednesday!! We started with no TV until after breakfast is done. He kept asking me why and I kept saying because these are new rules. With it being just the two of us and no separation between our dining room and living room, I have had the TV on many times during lunches/dinners. Not alot, I am conscious of too much TV/computer games, but still allowed it sometimes. Now it is going to be not at all. (Made an exception this morning due to mess on dining table he ate at coffee table.) I know that doesn't sound good, but I am on a mission for my son and I'm not breaking it.
That is just one of the rules. I have also been re-enforcing his table manners, trying to make a game out of "let's see how long you can sit still and eat all your food before getting down". I am now also adamant for both our sakes to get dressed directly after eating breakfast so we don't get trapped anymore in the now it's noon and we are still in our Jammie's. The laundry and dishes might be done, but we are not.
I have also been trying to get him to say "yes instead of no", to say positive things instead of negative "yummy vs yucky". In the past 24+ hours I am making strides.
Yesterday I got his hair cut and had to cut our outing short due to Mommy having a belly ache and having to come home. He wanted to play in his playard in the back of the house, which isn't visible from the bathroom. He didn't listen at first and I was a nervous wreck as he was out there for awhile with me in pain. When I had a moment to stand up and walk, I found him in his sandbox. I looked down at him with his new haircut and thought he only wants to play. Something so simple, so innocent, so wonderful. It's not his fault that my yard isn't the best safety wise, or that I couldn't see him from the bathroom. I decided to not give him a hard time about it and waited a little while. Finally after a few minutes of playing and with more pain coming on, in a nice voice I said "Honey, remember Mommy had the bad belly ache and that was the reason we had to rush all the way home?" He said "Yes" I said "I still have to go to the bathroom and Mommy is worried about you out here, can you come in for awhile and then you can go back out?" He said "Sure Mommy".
When you take a step back and take a deep breath and re-examine the situation at hand, you have time to see how this can become good for both you and him. Sometimes you don't have those moments and everyone winds up yelling and wanting to be the one calling the shots and then it is all downhill. So we are working on little things one at a time as we approach them throughout the day. I am hoping that in a few weeks there will be a drastic change in him regarding this issue because he is such a sweet, wonderful, loving, kind hearted, giving, generous angel and we want that to stay that way.
Today already came a silver lining. I was going to take him to the playground and the library but remembered I needed gas in my car. The place where I get it is about 15 minutes away and we decided to go to a playground after that. On my way to the playground we passed a local shopping outlet where he remembered they had Batman rides outside the store. He asked if we could go and I decided to test out his table manners at a restaurant there as well. We went to a nicer restaurant than the kid-friendly one and I held my breath. He had a few moments, but on the majority, throughout dinner sitting at the table, sitting in his seat, talking nice and soft to Mommy, coloring I was about ready to burst from holding my breath. A lady on her way out of the restaurant stopped at our table, came over to him and said "What A WELL BEHAVED LITTLE BOY YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK....that was enough to make me happy!!
I called Daddy on the cell phone and Matthew said "No!! I wasn't behaving..." He didn't want to admit it because that would mean he was being good. I told him Daddy said he was very proud of him.
Now only 3 hours until swimming.....let's hope the day ends as well as it has been going so far.
The picture below is of Matthew exhausted and tired at the end of his long day of running around, he slept through Eric washing his feet and face with warm water. He has never done that before.
The last picture is my Irish husband helping his Italian Grandfather water his Tomato Plants and Green Pepper plants. He is doing the same thing Grandpa does whenever he comes to visit us. Always keeping busy and helping out in the yard or wherever you need help.
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