Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Wishing I Could Peek through his window

Last night, I found on Matthew's school website some pictures of his class going to a recent field trip.

There was also some pictures of them blowing bubbles. My little guy looked so sad. It broke my heart.

This morning, I told him that I saw some pictures of him blowing bubbles. Before I could say a word, he spoke up and said "I spilled them on my coat." I told him that was okay, and that coat's are washable.

I asked him then if he was given any more bubbles while the rest of the kids were having fun, and he told me he was allowed to make one with soap and a contraption...but explaining it with the hugest smile on his face.

My heart is now better.

It was nice to see that when I wasn't there, someone else took care of my son's wishes to make him happy. I only get bits and pieces and then pictures where I didn't see the "whole picture".

Before putting him on the bus for the past week, I've been placing tissues in his pants pockets for him to use for his cold. Today he told me that the teacher doesn't like it when there are tissues in the pockets!! I said "What?" (thinking she would rather the alternative of no tissues) I know that I have to take some of what he says with a grain of salt, considering his love for stories and his awesome creative imagination...but when he tells me things in a serious tone....it's hard.

When I put him on the bus in the morning, my heart does two things....beats faster that I already miss him and ache for him not being with me, and then my mind steps in and says "You got two and half hours to blog."

This is my window to him. This is so you could peek in at him.

But you break his heart and you'll have to mess with me.

I just want to know that every day his wishes and prayers are answered and that he will have a long, happy and healthy life with normal self esteem. I don't know if I can give him all of that, but I know with prayers and patience and hopefully some guidance and family support along the way, we'll get there.

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