Mommy's New Hair Cut - Her mother's daughter

Ok....so I'm now posting that I finally got my haircut. What's this world coming to? Little things make me happy.

Today I took the plunge, into my short hair cut again. I haven't had it this short since Matthew was a year old.

I was a little scared, because of my own insecurities about my mom's illness. My mom's illness in her later years, deprived her of being able to have a nice hairstyle (to say the least). Because of her disease, her movements and jerking of her muscles kept my father and anyone else that wanted to cut her hair, impossible. She would wake up every day with knots that were unbearable to control and so a really short hair cut was mandatory for her.

For the last 10 years or so, anyone that would see me would say "You look just like your mom". As long as I kept my hair long, in my mind that meant "when my mom was healthy" and I would be so proud because she was so beautiful. But then on bad hair days or days when I would just get out of the shower and look in the mirror, her image in her later years has started to catch up with me. They say after you have kids, something changes hormonally and you start looking like your mom. I'm not vain or shallow. If my mother hadn't had a horrendous disease that destroyed her inner and outer self, my hair and my looking like her would be the last thing on my mind.

For the last two years I've been debating cutting my hair all off again, just because with Matthew it is easier for me to get out the door. I've mentioned before that I don't have the time anymore to primp and curl or blowdry with product etc. But I didnt' want to give up my last few moments (it feels sometimes) of sexiness, of me - the me who I don't want to let go of. The me that is terrified of being at risk for that illness and what the future might hold for me, being Matthew's mom.

I finally got my hair cut today because I feel like you know what! Cut it all off! Eric is going to color it for me tomorrow night and hopefully that will spice it up a little to just add a little of me, to the look.

I am very happy that I got it cut. I did start to tear up when the girl started getting shorter and shorter and I kept looking in the mirror and my mother started appearing more and more in the reflection. Once she was done, it looked fresh and beautiful and I am going to now be proud to say You know what! I do look just like my mom and even her in her later years, but I am making her proud. After the amount of years she suffered, the least I could do is walk around with a smile with my haircut and say - Here I Am and I'm still living (with my mom in my heart) !!!