Untangling The Webs & Matthews discoveries - From Mommy To Matthew

OK....I've really been missing my blogging! It really is an avenue to clear the mind and unfortunately, my mind has been a cobbled web for years that needs alot of untangling.

Yesterday for the first day in over 20 days, we had seasonable temps and sunny skies!! Yeah!! It's something how being out in the warm sunshine and blogging for me, go hand in hand. We had the whole afternoon to play with Matthew and rake some leaves in the process. It was so cool watch him again discovering things.

I don't think I'll ever get tired of smiling while I watch his reaction and can probably post about just that subject for the rest of his life. And I might just do that, because this is something I want him to have from Mommy when he gets older. Due to my being "at risk" for my mom's illness (subject for another day), I want him to have these moments from me, these pictures with my thoughts, these loving wonderful times that only I as his mom, can share with him. To let him know how much I loved him and never have any doubt about his mom's love and good intentions for his life to be the best it can be and to know what I was all about inside and out. What made me - me. Stories only I can pass down about my childhood, our family musical trait or memories of his grandmother. I would have loved to have something like this from my mom, but she didn't know the disease she faced until I had already moved to MA and was 22 years old and by then her mental state and physical state wouldn't let her type out her thoughts even if she had a computer. So for my son, I am doing this on behalf of his grandmother and his mom. Only I can pass down my heritage to my son, tell him the stories of how he is a great-grandson of a coal miner and teach him to be just as proud of that fact as he is about his father's heritage. It's easier now for that to come natural because we live in that state, with his relatives in Boston and his everyday life is molding MA into him. I am the only one who can teach him to be just as proud of the other side of his roots.

I plan on praying to God every day for that strength, to keep doing just that and praying that he will turn out to be the most well rounded -well traveled, well loved and never ever have any question of why his mom and dad prayed for our miracle someday. That we wanted to give him the best life and the best of both of us.

Yesterday Matthew discovered the bark on the trees. He loves peeling and picking at things and he has discovered bark before, but yesterday he stood at this one tree for a half hour, peeling it and picking it. He screamed at finding the green underneath the bark and finding little bugs and yelling to Daddy to come here!!!! He loves looking under every rock and screaming at new bugs he finds.

Also, typical boy just like his Daddy he loves rocks. Although Eric doesn't love the amount we have in our yard. Eric started throwing little rocks into the lake and soon Matthew wanted to be doing that with his dad...and they had the best time. Matthew really has a good arm. I sat on the steps to my deck and watched him throw those rocks. In my mind I heard my Mom yelling to my brother J to stop throwing them. My brother used to love throwing them as well, but I actually remember my mom trying to keep him from hitting the cars in the road. At least Matthew has the lake and won't throw them at cars...for now anyway.

Well, today is going to be another first time day for him. We are taking him as a family to go fly a kite and enjoying day #2 of the nice warm sunshine this time with a little fun it it for us as a family.