He's so peaceful

I know that Matthew is now over 4 and shouldn't be napping, but when he is tired, he naps.

I'd say out of 7 days a week, he naps for an hour to two about 3-4 of those days. We usually skip the weekends because when Daddy is home, Matthew has no interest unless we are driving him somewhere and he passes out. On Monday's he'll nap because Mommy had a long weekend without him napping and also because by then he needs one.

I try not to beat myself to much over this issue, because he was just beating me up over the fact that he wasn't tired and crying....and yawning all at the same time. And two seconds later, with me lying next to him still (mommy needs alot of work on this issue), he is passed out so peaceful.

And I don't just mean peaceful for Mommy...quiet time. Peaceful as in look at those little lips, and ears and nose...that everyday peek at my baby...growing up but still has those little baby features that still grab my heart each time I see him.

I would love another baby for him to have a brother or sister, but it must not be in God's plans or it would have happened by now. That is why I have this blog, or my pictures or videos. Every time I get that pull when I look at him, I just have to pull out my memories. Although it would have been nice to have more children, we know now that it takes more than just love of a baby's skin and smell and more than even just love. If everything else was in place and God was in agreement, I know I would have had a bigger family a long time ago.

Matthew was part of two fertilized embryo's that were inseminated and only one took. He could have had a twin. I know now, that God knew Mommy couldn't handle one let alone two, but can you imagine two (God Willing Healthy) blessings of him, maybe a little girl even? It is remarkable that science was able to bless us with God's hand in it as well. What if the doctor that day grabbed the wrong embryo or didn't do it just right? There are so many variables that could have made it not take, like the times in my past.

So here I am again letting you all know how blessed I am. How I couldn't imagine life without him or how did I survive life before without him? My dreaming of him was everything he turned out to be. When I was younger I used to tell K that someday when I have a little boy he will wear Levi's and Hi-Tops and his little jean jacket....and listen to Led Zepplin and now he's here. It's funny because I have a picture of Eric that if you put it right next to the picture of Matthew in my profile (with jean jacket one)- it is eerie. They look alike regardless, he came out of my belly and the doctor held him up and I said..they just pulled my husband out of my belly. I am posting the picture above when Matthew was 8 months old with Eric holding him. The picture is taken in front of what used to be our house, before our addition was done. I think this pic is beautiful because not only does it capture the stunning blueness of both of their eyes, but it captures the love as well.

Well, gotta go wake up my sleepyhead:-)